Delilah: A Wife Can Either Uplift Her Husband or Cause His Downfall

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Shimshon was a miracle child. His parents, Monoach and Tzlelponis, had been barren for many years before an angel prophezied that they would bear a son. But he would not be any ordinary son. He would be a nazir from birth¹. This meant that he would have to refrain from cutting his hair and consuming any grapes or wine products.

Shimshon was a shofet, a judge of Israel at a time when there wasn’t much leadership and direction for the Jewish People. To do his job as savior of the Jewish Nation Hashem endowed Shimshon with supernatural strength. This was a G-d-given gift and was a result of his status as a nazir.

Shimshon reasoned that to fight against the Plishtim, who were the sworn enemies of the Jews at that time, he would have to associate with the Plishti nation and come up with pretexts for fighting against them. In this way, the Plishtim would fight against Shimshon alone as a personal vendetta against him, but would leave the rest of the Jewish People alone. This was the result that Shimshon wanted.

To achieve this, Shimshon married into the Plishti people. His first wife betrayed him, providing a good reason for him to attack the Philistines. He sought a second Plishti wife, and that is where we are introduced to Delilah.

A person’s name is indicative of his character. This was certainly true with Delilah. Her name derived from the word dal – poor. The Gemara says that this was a fitting name for her because she impoverished Shimshon’s strength, his heart, and his actions². The Maharsha teaches that Shimshon should have realized from her name that she was potentially dangerous.

Shimshon saw Delilah in a place called Nachal Sorek, and the Torah testifies that ‘he loved her.’ The holy Shimshon had shown a slight inclination to follow his eyes, and in retribution, Hashem removed some of His divine protection from Shimshon.

There is no mention that Delilah was beautiful, and therefore her appearance wasn’t the cause of Shimshon’s love for her. Rather, she was a righteous woman, and Shimshon loved her for her spiritual qualities.

There are some opinions that maintain that Delilah was actually Jewish. Others say that she was born a non-Jew but converted to Judaism. Delilah was happy to turn her back on her own people so that she could marry the holy Shimshon.

Delilah started off righteous and pure, but in time she betrayed her husband because of her love of money. The Plishti governors came to Delilah and asked her to reveal the source of Shimshon’s great strength. They wanted to know how they could subdue and conquer him, and they were willing to offer Delilah eleven hundred pieces of silver to comply with their request.

Delilah came to Shimshon, asking him to reveal the secret of his strength. Not wanting to tell her the truth, Shimshon told her that if he was bound with seven fresh strings, he would become as weak as a normal person. Thinking he had told her the truth, Delilah relayed the information to the Plishtim who were waiting to ambush Shimshon, but it was a farce, and Shimshon retained his extraordinary strength after being tied up with seven fresh strings.

Delilah complained to Shimshon that he had mocked her and begged to know the truth about his strength. Three times Delilah cried to Shimshon to reveal the secret to her, and three times he told her false information. Delilah nagged Shimshon and said, “How can you say that you love me when you have mocked me three times?” Delilah pestered Shimshon incessantly, driving him to the brink of madness.

A person’s name is indicative of his character. This was certainly true with Delilah. Her name derived from the word dal – poor. The Gemara says that this was a fitting name for her because she impoverished Shimshon’s strength, his heart, and his actions. The Maharsha teaches that Shimshon should have realized from her name that she was potentially dangerous.

Rav Tzadok Hakohen says that Delilah’s breaking down of Shimshon’s morale was a mirror image of the inner battle that Shimshon waged against his yetzer hara. In the same measure as his evil inclination gained control over him, so too did Delilah gain control over him. We are told of Delilah’s tactics to make us realize how shrewd the yetzer hara is, since the evil inclination uses the same cunning methods as Delilah used.

Delilah resorted to a new strategy. She began tormenting Shimshon until he came close to having a nervous breakdown. Her behavior was the polar opposite of what is expected of a true Jewish woman. The Rambam teaches that a woman should honor her husband in great measure and should fulfill his requests. He should be in her eyes like a king. Delilah certainly fell far short of being a righteous wife to her virtuous husband.

Furthermore, while tormenting her husband, Delilah was disloyal to Shimshon. We learn from this that once a person gives in to his evil inclination once, he develops a taste and desire for sin³. Delilah had started off pure, sin-free, and loved by her husband, but now she stooped to committing adultery.

Driven crazy by Delilah, Shimshon succumbed to her persuasion and told her that he was a nazir. He revealed that the source of his strength lay in his refraining from cutting his hair, and that if he were to be shaven he would lose his supernatural strength.

Deleish knew that he was telling the truth because he invoked the name of Hashem when he said, “I am a nazir of G-d.”⁴

Realizing that she had finally uncovered Shimshon’s secret, Delilah called the Plishtim to come and capture Shimshon. They arrived with the money and only then did Delilah hand Shimshon over to them. It was the desire for money that caused Delilah to betray her husband. Rav Tzadok remarks that of all physical desires, the strongest is the lust for money.

Once Shimshon was in the hands of the Plishtim, they brought him down to Gaza in copper chains and bored out his eyes, blinding him. Shimshon was now helpless and dependent on others. The wicked Plishtim praised their gods for delivering Shimshon into their hands and called Shimshon to entertain them. Shimshon stood between the two pillars of the building where thousands of Plishtim had gathered. He pushed the pillars with great strength, causing them to collapse and kill everyone present, including himself.

Delilah’s steady spiritual decline, which pulled Shimshon down along with her, teaches us a fundamental lesson. A righteous wife uplifts her husband and uplifts the sanctity of the world. A wicked wife degrades her husband and ultimately causes his downfall.