The Kiss in Judaism

🖨 Print

Shlomo Hamelech, the wisest of all men, famously said, “Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth for your love is dearer to me than wine.” King Shlomo certainly had no romantic intentions in mind. He was longingly beseeching Hashem to draw near to him in loving closeness¹.

In Jewish thought and practice, physical gestures often carry deep symbolic and spiritual meaning. Among these gestures, the kiss occupies a unique place, representing not merely affection but also reverence, respect, and sacred connection. Far from being limited to romantic expression, the kiss in Judaism appears in a wide range of contexts—Torah narratives, ritual observance, and daily religious life—each reflecting layered meanings rooted in tradition.

When Yaakov met Eisav after many years of separation and estrangement, Eisav ran up to him and kissed him affectionately. This was unusual since Yaakov had fled his homeland because Eisav sought to kill him after he tricked his father, Yitzchak, into giving him Eisav’s brachot. Rashi points out that Eisav generally felt great enmity towards Yaakov, but at this moment his mercy was aroused, and he kissed Yaakov wholeheartedly².

Another instance of a kiss representing fraternal love was when Yosef kissed his brothers after revealing his identity to them³. The shevatim travelled to Mitzrayim to buy food for their starving families and were treated harshly by the Egyptian viceroy. He suspected them of espionage and threw Shimon into jail. After much intrigue, Yosef revealed his identity to his shocked brothers, and weeping, he kissed them affectionately. This symbolized reconciliation and unity within the family of Yaakov.

When Yaakov met Rachel for the first time and perceived with ruach hakodesh that she was his destined wife, he approached her and kissed her⁴. Yaakov, the great tzaddik, was motivated only by spiritual considerations, and his kiss was meant as a greeting to a relative⁵.

Kissing also appears in moments of transition and farewell. We see this when Ruth was parting from her beloved daughters-in-law as she prepared to leave the land of Moav to journey to Eretz Yisrael. She kisses both Ruth and Orpah as a gesture of deep love and emotion.

The above-mentioned examples highlight a kiss as a gesture that transcends words, expressing complex emotions such as longing, forgiveness, and enduring bonds. Often, a kiss can express what words can’t, for it communicates love and affection beyond the confines of words.

One of the most prominent roles of the kiss in Judaism is as an expression of reverence toward holy objects. Men kiss the Sefer Torah as it is carried past them in shul, and they also kiss their tefillin after use. Men and women alike kiss the mezuzah as they pass it, displaying love and affection for the mitzva.

When a siddur or chumash is mistakenly dropped, one picks it up and kisses it. This reinforces the principle that objects associated with kedusha deserve honor and respect, and the kiss becomes a natural expression of that reverence.

In some teachings, a kiss represents a profound form of connection that transcends physicality. The Gemara describes the deaths of certain tzaddikim as occurring through a “divine kiss,” a metaphor for a peaceful and intimate transition from life to the presence of God. This concept suggests that a kiss can symbolize the soul’s closeness to the Divine. Both Moshe and Aharon died by a “divine kiss,” which can be explained as the neshama’s exposure to G-d’s radiance to such a great degree that, like a magnet, the soul was drawn from the body towards Hashem’s Presence.

Rashi mentions the minhag of children kissing their parents on the knee or palm of the hand after leaving shul. This is a sign of honor and respect.

Kabbala interprets a kiss as a union of spirits or breaths. Since breath is often associated with the soul, the act of kissing can be seen as a merging or harmonizing of inner essence. When viewed in this way, the kiss is elevated beyond a physical gesture into a spiritual exchange.

Judaism views physical affection between man and wife in general and kissing in particular as a holy and sacred matter. That is why it should be reserved for specific times and should be displayed only in private. This highlights its sanctity and beauty, making it richer and more meaningful.

The kiss in Judaism is far more than a simple expression of affection. Rooted in the Torah, enriched by rabbinic interpretation, and lived out in diverse cultural practices, it embodies a wide spectrum of meanings. From gestures of love and reconciliation to acts of reverence and spiritual symbolism, the kiss reflects the richness of Jewish life and thought.

We return to the words of King Shlomo who said, “Kiss me with the kisses of your mouth for your love is dearer to me than wine.” May we merit to see the rebuilding of the Beit Hamikdash when Hashem will indeed communicate His wisdom to us in loving closeness. May it be soon in our days.

Shir Hashirim 1:2 ↩︎
Rashi on Bereishis 33:4 ↩︎
Bereishis 45:15 ↩︎
Bereishis 29:11 ↩︎
Bereishis Rabba ↩︎