Vayeitzei: Why Is Rachel’s Silence Praised?

In Parshat Vayetzei, we are about to witness the marriage of Yaakov, the ish tam to his bashert Rachel, the righteous younger daughter of Lavan. We see up close Lavan’s manipulative behavior and trickery, Yaakov and Rachel’s attempt to thwart it and ultimately, Rachel’s eternal sacrifice for her sister as she gives up being the first and only wife to Yaakov and building the nation she yearned to mother. 

The Midrash¹ describes how Rachel’s signature trait of shetika, her mastery over the power of silence was bequeathed to her later generations. Rachel allowing Leah to marry her husband, travelled to her son Binyamin who remained quiet about what he knew about Yosef, which passed onto the humble King Shaul and the heroine of silence, Queen Esther. Not only was this passed on as a spiritual gene, but it was intentionally recorded in the Gemara not as a pattern, but as a reward² for Rachel’s silence. Let us explore the nature of this trait. 

We must first understand why the Midrash praises Rachel’s silence. From the storyline, it would appear that Rachel did everything but remain silent. Had she stayed quiet, Lavan would have attempted to marry off Leah to Yaakov but the secret signs arranged by Yaakov and Rachel would have caught her out. Rather than keep this special pact to herself, Rachel rose above what she once knew as her spiritual destiny and in fact spoke up. She shared these signs with Leah, which, according to one opinion³, were the three women’s mitzvot of nidda, challa and hadlakat neirot. She thus sacrificed her husband while sparing Leah intense humiliation. Why do we call this shetika, silence? Rachel revealed a secret and her greatness was in speaking up. 

The answer is revealed in a later pasuk⁴ when Rachel asks Leah for some of the dudaim (fertility flowers) which her son Reuven picked for her. Leah’s response is shocking: “Is it not enough that you took my husband, you also want my son’s dudaim?” This pasuk illustrates clearly – and astonishingly – that Rachel must have protected Leah from realising what happened. She must have conveyed the signs with such subtlety that Leah never knew the truth of what she was spared from. Rachel’s first sacrifice may have been passing on a code but it was far from her last. Rachel spent her entire marriage allowing Leah to view herself as the real wife who allowed Rachel to marry her husband. Her silence is deafening in its spiritual power. 

In contrast, the same Midrash which mentions the chain of Rachel’s shetika through her generations mentions Leah’s trait of hodaa, literally thanks or admission. This trait passed through to Yehuda (who acknowledged Tamar was right), David (who said hodu l’Hashem) and Daniel (who similarly acknowledged Hashem verbally). Rav Moshe Weinberger⁵ parallels the greatness of these two Imahot and brings the words of Rav Tzadok HaCohen who suggests that Rachel and Leah were not physically particularly loud or quiet. In fact, it is interesting Rachel is the queen of shetika as she speaks far more in the pesukim than her sister. Rather, it indicated their spiritual path. 

Rachel represents the tzaddik gamur, the path of the person who has no questions or struggles and serves Hashem with serene acceptance⁶. In contrast, Leah represents the ba’al teshuva, the path straddled with challenge and the constant fight to overcome and prevail. Leah spent her life crying to be separate from Eisav and fighting to distance herself from him. Rachel is the mother of Mashiach ben Yosef, who is called Yosef Hatzaddik whereas Leah is the mother of Yehuda and malchut in general, Mashiach ben David. Leah’s insides were turbulent therefore she is hodaa, her path is noise whereas Rachel’s insides were still, her path is that of shetika. In this sense, Rachel’s sacrifice was a natural outgrowth of her spiritual makeup⁷. 

Her ultimate spiritual twin⁸ in this sense was Esther who on a surface level, physically stayed quiet about her Jewish identity despite pressure. On a deeper level, she was completely at peace with Hashem’s will. She was married to a non-Jewish King who signed on the extermination of her people, forced to separate from Mordechai and languished in the opulent Persian palace long after the Megilla ends, yet she was completely subservient, externally to Mordechai’s advice, and internally, to Hashem’s will. ‘A G-d fearing woman she shall be praised’ is the penultimate praise of Shlomo Hamelech’s Eishet Chayil and a reference to Esther who, like her ancestor Rachel, completely gave herself over to Hashem’s ratzon.

We must first understand why the Midrash praises Rachel’s silence. From the storyline, it would appear that Rachel did everything but remain silent. Had she stayed quiet, Lavan would have attempted to marry off Leah to Yaakov but the secret signs arranged by Yaakov and Rachel would have caught her out. Rather than keep this special pact to herself, Rachel rose above what she once knew as her spiritual destiny and in fact spoke up. She shared these signs with Leah, which, according to one opinion, were the three women’s mitzvot of nidda, challa and hadlakat neirot.

However, some of Rachel’s descendants misused this koach of shetika. Although King Shaul was rewarded for his tzniut⁹, both physically covering himself modestly in the cave when David almost killed him as well as keeping quiet when he was told he would be king, he was not perfect. King Shaul failed to assert himself over the people due to his natural tendency towards shetika and tzniut, leading to critical errors. For instance, King Shaul did not stand up to the impatient Jewish soldiers of the army fighting against Pelishtim and thus did not wait for Shmuel to arrive to perform korbanot. Shmuel as navi and mouthpiece of Hashem rebuked him and reminded him of his status as ‘rosh shivtei yisrael’ ‘the head of the tribes of Israel’ and therefore should have prevailed over the people. Although initially praiseworthy, being ‘small in his own eyes’ was his downfall. This repeats itself when King Shaul complained to Shmuel that the reason the nation didn’t kill the Amalekite animals, a serious violation of Hashem’s word, was because ‘the people wanted to sacrifice them.’ Shaul, as King, should have admonished the people. His humble perception of himself clouded him from being able to establish Hashem’s will over the people and therefore he lost the kingship. Shetika is powerful, but not when it allows the perpetuation of sin.

Rachel’s son Yosef also erred in the path of shetika. For 22 years, he was painfully separated from his family, removed entirely from any communication as he remained in the infamous dungeon prisons of Egypt. This was a long period of enforced silence. Yet, at the dramatic reunion with his brothers they referred to Yaakov as “our father, your servant,” not knowing that the intimidating Egyptian viceroy in front of them was their brother Yosef. Yosef is faulted for not having opposed this title, for a child can never call their father their servant nor allow him to be called so. Yosef is often referred to by the atzmot Yosef, Yosef’s bones. These lifeless bones which had to be carried out of Egypt were the ultimate symbol of his silence. A silence he endured with impressive nobility yet a silence which was tragically misplaced for disrespect¹⁰. Silence is a virtue, except when the Torah demands we speak up.

Exploring Rachel’s trait of shetika, its depth, its contrast to other traits and its limitations allows us a closer glimpse into the greatness of our Imahot. Perhaps now we can truly appreciate the eternally reverberating cry of Rachel ‘Kol berama nishma.” A poignant voice from the one who mastered silence. 

1. Bereishit Rabba 71b ↩︎
2. Megilla 13b ↩︎
3. Brought down in Sefer Ohalei Yehuda, quoting Arizal. He says that these signs were passed onto Esther too ↩︎
4. Bereishit 30:14-15 ↩︎
5. In his sefer, Da es Midosecha, quoted https://www.kavconnect.com/blog/2020/6/28/rochel-is-the-koach-of-shtika  ↩︎
6. This was a perfect match for Yaakov who was the ‘ish tam’ and wanted to serve Hashem serenely with perfect children, see Rashi on ‘Vayeshev Yaakov’ where Yaakov wanted to sit in shalva, tranquility ↩︎
7.  Concept from Rav Nissel in his Mishpacha article on the subject ↩︎
8. This idea was taught to me by Rebbetzin Leah Hershman ↩︎
9. The Maharal, Netivot Olam on Shmuel says that David did not manage to kill Shaul in the cave because of his tzniut, Netiv Hatzniut 81 ↩︎
10. Explained by Rav Schwartz, https://www.kavconnect.com/blog/2020/6/28/rochel-is-the-koach-of-shtika ↩︎