The Multifaceted Personality of Rivka Imeinu

🖨 Print

Rivka Imeinu, the second of our four matriarchs could be described as the ‘sandwich matriarch’. Unlike Sarah who together with Avraham sets the foundation for the birth of the Jewish people, and Rachel with her and Yaakov’s love story and the legacy of being the mother in whose zchut the geula will come¹, Rivka’s life is filled with complexity. Married as a young girl, a relationship that seems based on fear and lack of communication with her husband, faced with years of infertility and then a difficult pregnancy, seeing the differences in her children as they grow, Rivka holds many qualities of a strong, smart and independent woman who possess the strength of character to face all of the challenges thrown in her way.

A Legacy of Kindness

While Avraham with his open to guests tent is most often associated with the middah of kindness, Rivka too is more than worthy of this title. When Eliezer sets out on his mission to find Yitzchak a wife, he asks for a sign to point him in the correct direction. The sign is that not only will the young maiden allow Eliezer to drink from the water that she has drawn, but also she will note and attend to his ten camels. Indeed, when Rivka is approached by Eliezer, she does just this- she waits patiently until Eliezer has ‘drunk his fill’, rather than the ‘little sip’ he requested, and then proceeds, without waiting for Eliezer to request it, “quickly emptying her jar into the trough”, to provide the camels with as much as they need, “she ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels.”² When Eliezer asks if her father’s place perhaps has space for him to stay the night, she again takes note of the animals and mentions first that they have enough feed for the camels, and also enough space for Eliezer to stay.

The first meeting we have with Rivka is that of a young girl with the ability to see and show concern for all creations of Hashem and to take over and above actions to care for them.

Rosh Gadol: Perception and the Trait of Taking Action

In Israel, employment postings often come with the requirement to be ‘rosh gadol.’ Literally translated this means ‘a big head’, but its meaning is what we might call wide and out of the box outlook, the ability to think ahead and see more than what meets the eye. Throughout her lifetime, Rivka Imeinu displays this trait. As related above, the extent of her kindness is rooted in her ability to see not just the immediate needs of Eliezer, but also of that of his animals. Chazal relate that Rivka was intelligent as evidenced in how she answers Eliezer’s question and she had the ability to see further than the here and now of her personal circumstances. Maybe this is the reason that Rivka shows decisive decision making in her response to being asked if she will go immediately with Eliezer or if she would rather think about it. “I will go”³, she responds showing an insight into the opportunity to change the course of her life, even if there is fear involved.

We see this trait of Rosh Gadol in two other episodes of Rivka’s life. When, after 20 years of barrenness she is finally blessed with a pregnancy, Rivka experiences turmoil and pain to the extent that she exclaims “If so, why do I exist!”⁴ Rashi explains that this wasn’t a complaint, but rather a contemplation- is this the normal course of pregnancy, or is something extraordinary taking place in my womb and with my future offspring? What does this say about the purpose of my existence? Rivka sees beyond the merely physical experience of a difficult pregnancy. But she doesn’t remain passive- rather she takes her contemplation and goes out to seek or “demand” answers from Hashem. Rivka receives the answer and prophecy (that Yitzchak seemingly never does)- “Two nations are in your womb, Two separate peoples shall issue from your body; One people shall be mightier than the other, And the older shall serve the younger.”⁵

According to the Rashbam, it is this prophecy that causes Rivka to have a special love for Yaakov and later, what motivates her to act in the switching of the blessings. “For she was aware of his perfection, also because the prediction to her of the prophet had been that the senior son would be subservient to the junior one. The Torah had to mention first that Yitzchak loved Esau in order for us to understand what had motivated to bless Esau, and what had motivated Rivkah to deceive him into blessing Yaakov.”⁶ Why Rivka doesn’t share this information with Yitzchak in the infancy of the twins is a question for a separate article, and scholars have debated the methods she used in assuring that Yaakov gets the blessing that he deserves, but whichever way you look at it, here too we see a rosh gadol approach and decisive action to make what needs to happen happen.

Marriage and Love

Yitzchak and Rivka’s relationship is often contrasted with that of Sarah’s and Avraham’s and Rachel’s and Yaakov’s. The Netziv posits this when expounding on the moving first sighting of Yitzchak by Rivka. It says in the Torah,

“Raising her eyes, Rebekah saw Isaac. She nafla (fell or alighted) from the camel and said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field toward us?” And the servant said, “That is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself.”

The Netziv writes, ““She fell off the camel” – out of fear and awe. Although Rivka didn’t know exactly what she feared, she asked the servant, “Who is this man who awakens this fear in me?” When she heard he was to be her husband, she took a scarf and covered up out of reverence and shame, as if she realized she is not worthy of being his wife.

From this moment on, intimidation found a permanent place in her heart, regarding her husband. Thus, you will find that [Rivka’s] relationship with Yitzhak was not like Sarah with Avraham, or Rachel with Yaakov, who felt equal to their husbands and never feared to confront them with complaints or criticism…”⁷

For both Yitzchak and Rivka, the Torah tells us they ‘lifted their eyes’ and saw the other approaching. Perhaps this signals a vision toward a joint future, a continuity of what Avraham and Sarah began before them, and what their child Yaakov will further build.

The Radak takes a different approach and says that Rivka lowered herself from the camel and covered herself, showing both the modesty and formality that she believed were requisite for this momentous meeting. She felt she should present herself to Yitzhak, her future husband, in a particular way.

The Netziv presents us with a Rivka who is humble and lacking in self confidence, while the Radak presents us with the Rivka who makes decisions and takes action, in this case, how she wishes to meet her holy husband for the first time, with the traits of humility and modesty. Whichever explanation, Yitzchak sees that he is given a special wife. We read that “Isaac went out walking in the field toward evening and, looking up, he saw camels approaching… Isaac then brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he took Rebekah as his wife. Isaac loved her, and thus found comfort after his mother’s death.”

Rashi tells us that the expression used ‘lasuach basede’ translated here as walking, means that Yitzchak was praying. Perhaps he was asking Hashem to bring him a worthy wife⁸. The Midrash relates that while Sarah, Yitzchaks’ mother, was alive the shechina rested on her tent, her dough was blessed and her shabbat candles burned all week. When she died these three miracles ceased. When Yitzchak marries Rivka and brings her into his tent, these miracles return⁹. In this we see that Rivka brings spirituality and bracha into the life of Yitzchak. He loves her, is comforted by her, and knows his prayer has been answered.

Continuity

The Midrash tells us, ““Like a lily among the thorns,” Rabbi Yitzḥak interpreted the verse regarding Rebecca, as it is stated: “Isaac was forty years old, and he took Rebecca, daughter of Betuel the Aramaean of Padan Aram, the sister of Laban the Aramaean, [to be his wife]” (Genesis 25:20). If it is to teach that she was from Padan Aram, why does the verse state: “Sister of Laban the Aramean”? Rather, her father was a swindler, her brother was a swindler, and the people of her area were swindlers….¹⁰ From the outset we see that Rivka is different – she is kind, honest and goes the extra mile without the expectation of something in return. She takes the opportunity to forge her future with the righteous family of Avraham rather than the idolatrous and deceitful relatives around her. Rivka, a young maiden the midrash tells us at the time of her marriage, endures 20 years of barrenness and then an incredibly difficult pregnancy, yet through this she has her eyes to the future. Her family blessed her that she would be the matriarch of myriads and Yitzchak, the only of our Avot to abstain from doing so, takes no other wife or concubine. Despite her dubious family ancestry, her complex relationship with her husband, her possible lack of self confidence (if we take the approach of the Netziv), Rivka, with her ability to combine perception, kindness and action, is able to, together with Yitzchak, look toward the future in order to forge the connecting generation that will ultimately bring to the building of Am Yisrael.

Based partially on a shiur by Rabbi Daniel Friedman: A Spiritual Portrait of Rivka

https://www.yutorah.org/lectures/1115881/A-Spiritual-Portrait-of-Rivkah-Imeinu