Tzav: Gratitude Is the Fabric of Jewish Life

Parshat Tzav describes the thanksgiving offering: “If he offers it as a thanksgiving offering, then along with this thanksgiving offering he is to offer unleavened loaves mixed with oil, unleavened wafers spread with oil, and loaves of fine flour well-kneaded and mixed with oil” (Vayikra 7:12). Rabbi Sacks points out beautifully that although almost two thousand years have passed without sacrifices, we still hold onto a remnant of the korban todah in our lives through birchat hagomel, the thanksgiving blessing. Thankfulness is timeless and will always be embedded into the fabric of Jewish life.

Rav Eliyahu Spira, in his sefer Eliyahu Rabba highlights that throughout the repetition of the shemone esrei, our amein suffices as our contribution. However, when the chazzan reaches modim, the entire congregation must bow together with him and recite their own modim. Rav Spira writes powerfully that when it comes to thanksgiving, we do not appoint a shaliach. We cannot delegate this precious task.

From Modeh Ani in the morning, through Birchot Hashachar and the rest of our tefillot, together with the daily sprinkling of our brachot on food and other matters as well as our weekly observance of Shabbat – observant Torah life forces us to slow down, pause and contemplate all we have. In fact, Rebbetzin Gottlieb pointed out that hilchot brachot is a complex area of halacha, serving only to point to the complex nature of the creation of foods. Intricate halacha is designed to guide us to appreciate the intricacy of creation.

Yet, we are not always guided in this way. The root of many of our most tragic aveirot is lack of hakarat hatov. Adam turning to Hashem and saying “this woman You gave me caused me to sin!” The meraglim declaring “this land is not a good land.” The Jewish people complaining “we had it better in Egypt!” Lack of hakarat hatov leads to our destruction, both personally and nationally, and it therefore follows that we are held to an extremely high standard in hakarat hatov.

As we sit around the Seder table, we can appreciate our spouse, our children, our parents, siblings, friends or anyone who we are blessed to be seated with – not for what they do, but for who they are. And may our beautiful expressions of hakarat hatov lead to the geula sheleima where we can once more offer the korban todah

Rabbi Dovid Kaplan tells the episode of how Moshe was not allowed to perform the first 3 makkot since they involved striking the land (which hid the Mitzri he killed and therefore saved his life) and the water (which kept him alive when his mother had to abandon him as a baby). Hakarat hatov is so vital to the identity of a Jew that Moshe Rabbeinu missed out on bringing about a massive kiddush Hashem – the first three makkot– to ensure he showed gratitude. Clearly there is something even more majestic than the makkot, something even more wondrous than displaying the might of Hashem before the world. And that is our simple act of appreciation.

Yetziat Mitzrayim, in the words of Rav Avigdor Neventzal, was the newlywed stage of the Jewish people with Hashem. The pasuk in Shemot (12:37-39) tells us “the Children of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Sukkot … nor had they made provisions for themselves” Rashi comments that this pasuk is a praise of the Jewish people because they didn’t question how they could journey into the Midbar without provisions, but they believed in Hashem and went. This powerful display of bitachon from the Jewish people is beautifully captured in Yirmiyahu (2:2) “I remember for your sake the kindness of your youth, the love of your bridal days, how you followed Me in the Wilderness in an unsown land.” Rav Neventzal points out that this pasuk was spoken almost 1000 years after the event took place and despite the many sins committed over this period, Hashem chooses to focus on the fondest moments of our newlywed stage. A golden lesson in shalom bayit.

Hashem is modelling for us how to be the ideal spouse: always recall the good. Marriage is built from both sides focusing on the good that the other partner brings, no matter how long ago it occurred, no matter how small it was, no matter what else they have done. We see this in the Yom Tov of Pesach itself where we call it Pesach, the festival that Hashem “pasach”, passed over our Jewish homes and saved us, separating us from the Egyptians and freeing us from their physical and emotional bondage. Yet, the Torah calls it Chag Hamatzot, recalling our loving act of devotion towards Hashem, following Him into the desert with barely-baked bread on our backs. Each loving spouse focuses on the devotion of the other. 

Rebbetzin Dina Schoonmaker points out that we may think that what a wife is praised for is housekeeping, childrearing and the like. But in Gan Eden, Adam needed Chava just as every man needs his wife – not for physical needs but just for her very existence. Chava’s role as Adam’s wife gave him emotionally and spiritually what he needed. His laundry, his meals and his every physical need was taken care of by Hashem. We can view our husband in the same way. Even if he isn’t earning what we hoped or learning in the way we always dreamed of, his very presence in our life is a security and blessing for us, and a pathway for us to be filled emotionally and physically. 

As we sit around the Seder table, we can appreciate our spouse, our children, our parents, siblings, friends or anyone who we are blessed to be seated with – not for what they do, but for who they are. And may our beautiful expressions of hakarat hatov lead to the geula sheleima where we can once more offer the korban todah.