Lilith: A Demon, Not to Be Defended nor Glorified

In college, I analyzed the history of vampires in a creative writing class. Interestingly, from each culture researched, the earliest dated origins of vampires came from the Old Testament. No, this is not a comprehensive report on the link between vampires and the various blood-libels against Jews throughout Milena (although, what an interesting topic that would be). Rather, the focus, or more specifically, woman of this article is so taboo – so, frankly, edgy and deemed not only inappropriate, but “demonic” by the majority Jewish world – my husband suggested I not accept the topic. Have I grabbed your attention?  In the current world we’re living in, where so many women are aggressively and vehemently pushing off their G-d given qualities as females, it is important we delve beyond the origins of vampires. Let us begin with the first woman – Lilith¹.

Did you know that Lilith – the first woman created “alongside” Adam is now considered a demon? With chills down my spine, while clarifying the definition of her name, Lilith is correlated with the Hebrew word “layla”, or night². In full, her name means “night demons”. Why? What was so evil about Lilith’s role on Earth, or perhaps, the actions she took after being created, that have literally caused the recitation of her name to be banned by many Jewish communities? One should not say her name out loud – as it’s believed to draw down certain energy, specifically upon men. What is that energy, why is it something we protect ourselves from as Jews, and – most importantly – who was this woman?

When G-d created the world, He had the intention for man and woman to be together – simply. Man and woman were to come together, physically, to fill the earth and subdue it (being the first commandment given in the Torah, not only to Jews, but to all humans³). Man and woman were also to come together emotionally, intellectually, and ideologically to be co-creators with G-d on this Earth, beyond procreating. We were (and are) to use our free will to imagine and craft this world into a dwelling place, not only for G-d’s presence, but in order that His Will be respected and ultimately adhered to. As we recall, the Garden of Eden was this reality – Adam and Eve were as aware of G-d as they were aware of their own selves. In innocence – yet with innately deep wisdom (that some say babies have, which cannot be taught) – they lived in perfect harmony with one another, with animals, and most importantly – their Father and Creator in Heaven. Yet, it was not felt by them that He was “in Heaven”, but rather, right alongside them on Earth. So, who was Lilith, and why was she replaced by Eve? How did she fall short and give up her responsibility in the aforementioned mission with Adam?

Here is why, in summary: Lilith insisted she be on top. Your imagination is probably going to the correct place, in that I mean this both literally, and figuratively. Long after Lilith was banished, G-d said to Eve – after “the” sin – “I will increase your pain and your labor when you give birth to children. Yet, you will long for your husband, and he will rule over you.”⁴ While on one hand, this is understood as a man being the “head of the household”, and as some would say “wearing the pants” – it also literally means, the man must be on top of the woman during sexual relations. Adam, otherwise known as the pinnacle man, was told that when being intimate with his wife, he must face the ground from which he came. In a way, this humbled him; remember from where you came, despite “being on top” of this world. As told to Adam in Bereshit, “dust you are, and to dust you will return.” Remember: only Eve came from the rib of Adam, not Lilith. So where did she come from?

According to Midrash Genesis Rabbah, G-d created a woman for Adam, so as for him to not be alone – but she was created from the Earth, like man⁵. The two immediately began to fight, as the woman insisted, “I will not be beneath you”, and he responded, “I will not be beneath you.” Again, this runs much deeper than the positions of their sexual intimacy – Lilith was exclaiming, “I will not be beneath you, in status, in this world – I come from the same Earth as you, and I am exactly like you in that way.” Nonetheless, as G-d’s first creation, Adam prevailed and drove Lilith out of the Garden. Some opinions are that she took flight, hence the eventual connection to her and vampires/bats, and became gripped by her desire to “be on top”. Rather than fulfilling this need, sexually, she used her power-lust (and innate, womanly need to create) to do the following. 

G-d placing the woman “beneath man” was to protect her from being defiled. The Torah commands a man to honor his wife more than he honors himself. Regarding sexual relations, on par with this topic, a husband is obligated to fulfill his wife’s sexual needs – not the other way around. When man and woman come together intimately, in marriage, love, and friendship, the Holy One dwells amongst them (G-ds presence being upon two people, in this case, is hardly described regarding any other mitzvah)!

Rather than creating human life, as was intended to do with her partner, Adam, Lilith created life in the form of demons. She was scorned and embittered by her G-d given fate as a woman, and after being shut away from the Garden – entirely due to her own stubbornness, unquenchable desire to conquer man and be seen as no different, and her inability to accept G-d’s will (which is an inevitable, necessary struggle for all mankind) – she sought revenge. Now known as the “night demon”, it is understood that nightly emissions of men come from Lilith visiting them in the night. Just as she insisted on being done to Adam, Lilith preys on men in their sleep and “dominates them”, so to speak. Jewish men work tirelessly throughout their waking time to be “shomer bris”, or preserving their sexual purity – so why would they do anything to compromise this, especially if brought upon them when unconscious? 

The Kabbalistic sources and depth of the above (and following) are beyond the scope of this article, but are important to mention, nonetheless, so one does not consider this woman to be like “any other woman in Jewish history” who made a mistake. It is understood, kabbalistically, that her evil energy continues to wreak havoc in this world. Beyond “birthing” demons into the world, with her ill-intention to essentially dominate her husband, Jewish folklore explains that she preyed on the blood of human children as her life force (hence the origins of vampires). All this to say, particularly because she is viewed as a literal demon whose name brings evil energy into wherever “brought down”, Lilith is not the feminist hero that many “modern-Jewish” writers insist she was. 

Lilith was not the original feminist, claiming, “I am to be equal to man! I am capable, just as he is; I am powerful, just as he is; I can run the world; just as he does!” This kind of equality of man and woman is recognized in Judaism. Devorah, our holy prophetess, was one of the greatest judges found in Jewish history. Yael, the quiet female warrior, used her feminine qualities to lure and impale the Canaanite general, saving the entire nation. It was not a man who was chosen to save the Jews of Persia during the times of King Achashvarosh – it was Queen Esther herself, who, similarly, used her uniquely G-d given, feminine qualities to prevent total annihilation of the Jewish people. Lilith not only failed at her mission to be co-creators with G-d in this world – as a woman – she created her own demise by insisting that she was exactly like man. And, that she’d do whatever it takes to be “the ruler”, or rule-maker.

In other words, we as women, in this day and age, need to be incredibly careful not to morph into something we will never be. We can be leaders. We can take the world by storm, and cause massive changes to ensue, just as G-d intended we do! But let us never be hypnotized by the egracious notion that men and women are complete equals. We are not, and will never be. And, most importantly, woe to the woman who (like Lilith) denies her innate desire for creation and bearing life – and is sunken into the faux replacement of it: exploitation of one’s most vulnerable and precious part/self. Though to many women they see such a choice or statement as empowering – “my body, my choice” not being used for consensual purposes, but rather, to flaunt an overly-sexualized and shameless lifestyle – and in the end, are left feeling dehumanized, used, and degraded. 

G-d placing the woman “beneath man” was to protect her from being defiled. The Torah commands a man to honor his wife more than he honors himself. Regarding sexual relations, on par with this topic, a husband is obligated to fulfill his wife’s sexual needs – not the other way around. When man and woman come together intimately, in marriage, love, and friendship, the Holy One dwells amongst them (G-ds presence being upon two people, in this case, is hardly described regarding any other mitzvah)! Surely, if G-d intended men treat women like objects, G-d forbid, to be “dominated” and “beneath them” outside of the bedroom, such laws (only a small portion I mentioned) would not be incumbent upon Jewish men. On the contrary, women are deeply honored, respected, and beloved in the Torah – including Eve, and yes, even Lilith, who by a loving G-d, was created to work in tandem and partnership with man. 

1. Writing Lilith’s name in full is permitted, however one should not say her name out loud. ↩︎
2. Merriam-Webster. (n.d.-a). Lilith definition & meaning. Merriam-Webster. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Lilith  ↩︎
3. Bereshit 1:28 ↩︎
4. Bereshit 3:16 ↩︎
5. Genesis Rabbah 22:7 and 18:4 ↩︎