The Halachot of the Three Weeks

The three weeks between the 17^th of Tammuz and the 9^th of Av are a time when Chazal warn us that all those with bad intentions towards the Jewish people, can achieve their aims.

Many tragedies have struck the Jewish people during this time, including the destruction of both the first and second Temples.

It is, therefore, both a time of mourning our losses and being careful not to engage in dangerous activities.

It is also a time to improve our relationships by being kind, helpful, and appreciative of those around us, in contrast to the hatred and jealousy for which the Beit HaMikdash was destroyed.

This period can be split into three sections.

1.  From the 17^th of Tammuz till Rosh Chodesh Av

2.  From Rosh Chodesh Av till the beginning of the week of the 9^th of Av

3.  The week in which the 9^th of Av falls

Below is a list of activities from which we refrain during this period, and from when we refrain.

An important rule to remember is that these halachot do not apply when they clash with the performance of a mitzvah, such as a brit milah, to the sick, and in other special circumstances.

1. Weddings:  It is customary not to get married from the 17^th of Tammuz till the 9^th of Av.

2. Engagements and shidduchim: Engagements are permitted during the whole period, and so too are shidduchim.

3. Haircuts and shaving: Men refrain from haircuts and shaving from the 17^th of Tammuz, (the Sephardi custom is that men alone refrain from shaving and haircuts only in the week of Tisha BeAv, while there is no restriction on women). Women may cut their hair for “tzniut” reasons, and shave parts of the body that are regularly shaved.

4. Bathing: While men refrain from bathing from Rosh Chodesh (Sephardim in the week of Tisha BeAv), this is only where the bath is for enjoyment. Where the bathing is to remove sweat and dirt, the prohibition does not apply. Some authorities say that women are excluded from this prohibition altogether. According to all opinions, when a woman’s time to go to the mikvah falls during the three weeks, she may perform all preparations normally.

At the times when bathing is prohibited, as above, one should refrain from going to the beach too. Swimming for health reasons is allowed.

5. Music and dancing: Listening to music and dancing is prohibited during the whole three weeks. Listening to songs that arouse feelings of closeness to Hashem (“deveikut”) is permitted, and some poskim permit soft music too. Singing to oneself is allowed, even loudly.

6. Shopping: Buying clothes for which the beracha of Shechiyanu is recited (for example, a Shabbat outfit), is prohibited, unless the item may not be available after Tisha BeAv, in which case it may be purchased and worn after the three weeks. The same applies to other large purchases, like a new car or kitchen. Where they may not be available after the fast, or the price will be higher, they may be purchased even in the week of Tisha BeAv.

Where the purchase is for one’s parnasa, or to replace faulty equipment, it may be made even in the week of Tisha BeAv.Other clothes may be purchased and worn till Rosh Chodesh (Ashkenazim) or the week of Tisha BeAv (Sephardim).New clothes for a chatan and kalah may be bought even in the week of Tisha B’Av where there will not be time to do so after the fast.New Tefillin, and books for the study of Torah may be purchased even in the week of Tisha BeAv.

7. Eating a new fruit: Where one comes across a new fruit upon which the beracha of “shehecheyanu” may be recited, the fruit should be saved for Shabbat, while if this is not possible, and the fruit may not be available after Tish BeAv, “shehecheyanu” may be recited.

8. Laundry and ironing: Laundry is not done, and fresh clothes are not worn or ironed from Rosh Chodesh Av (the Sephardi custom is to prohibit this only during the week of Tisha B’Av). Where the clothes of children need to be washed, or where there are no clean clothes to wear, all laundry may be done.

9. A wig is like any other type of clothing, and should not be washed and styled during these days. It may however be combed.

10. Wearing freshly laundered clothes: The Ashkenazi custom is not to wear freshly laundered clothes from Rosh Chodesh while the Sephardi custom is to refrain from this only in the week of Tisha B’Av. It is of course forbidden for a Jew to wear dirty, soiled clothes, at any time, and the prohibition is to refrain from that feeling of satisfaction or “geshmak!” one gets when wearing freshly laundered clothing. Therefore, some wear all clothes for a short while, or otherwise soil them by, for example, trampling them on the floor, before the prohibition comes into force. If one forgets to do this, they may nevertheless be worn.

11. Meat and wine: Both the Ashkenazi and the Sephardi custom is to refrain from eating meat and drinking wine Rosh Chodesh until the 9 of Av. On Shabbat, meat and wine may be consumed, and at Havdala, it is customary for a child to drink the wine.

12. Building and decorating: Where building and decorating is required to fix damage, it is permitted, even in the week of Tisha BeAv, while where it is for luxury or newlyweds, it is prohibited for the whole three-week period. Where there is no time to wait till after Tisha B’Av, even such building and decorating is permitted.

13. Gardening: During the whole three-week period, one should refrain from planting new trees, shrubs, or flowers, but may carry out all the necessary work required to maintain the garden.

14. Dangerous activities: Because of the nature of these days, it is advisable to refrain from all dangerous activities, such as an avoidable operation, or appearing before a non-Jewish court.

The above halachot are a general guideline. There are many different customs as to what is allowed and when during “ben hametzarim”, (the three weeks), and a rabbi should be consulted.