The mitzvah of counting the Omer is a positive time-bound mitzvah from which women are exempt.
During the days between Pesach and Shavuot, the talmidim of Rabbi Akiva died, as a punishment for not showing sufficient respect to each other. This tragedy put the future of the Jewish people at risk, as without Torah, the Jewish people are just like any other nation.
There is some dispute as to when the talmidim of Rabbi Akiva died.
The generally accepted opinion is that they died during the 33 days from Pesach till Lag BaOmer, however, many communities are stringent to continue the mourning period till Shavuot.
The Ashkenazi custom is to finish the mourning period on Lag BaOmer itself, while the Sephardi custom is to wait till the following day, the 34th day of the Omer.
Despite this difference, a Sephardi can participate in celebrations on Lag BeOmer, and an Ashkenazi can do so on the following day, even if they are from the communities that observe the mourning period till Shavuot.
To remember this event, we observe some customs of mourning during these days.
It is important to remember that these days are not as stringent as the three weeks leading up to Tisha Be AV, when we are mourning the destruction of the Beit HaMikdash. While there are similarities between the two periods in time, these days are much more lenient halachically.
The restrictions during this time are as follows:
- No weddings except under special circumstances
- Engagement parties are allowed, and so too are shiduchim
- Shechiyanu can be recited on a new fruit or new clothes, however some communities are stringent to save new fruits till Shabbat, and not to wear new clothes that would require a beracha of “Shechiyanu” (Today it is generally agreed that only special outfits require a beracha of “Shechiyanu”
- Music and dancing are prohibited. This includes listening to recordings.
- Vocal music is allowed.
- Many are lenient to permit listening to gentle, calming music as opposed to dancing music, especially where it is for therapeutic reasons.
- According to all opinions, one may sing to oneself
- In the case of a “seudat mitzvah, such as “Sheva Berachot” or “siyum mesechta”, some communities permit music and dancing.
- One whose parnasa is from music, may work during these days, but playing for fun is prohibited.
- Haircuts are prohibited during these days, as is shaving. Not all agree that this applies to women too, and therefore, where there are special circumstances, these are permitted.
- Eyebrows and eyelashes are not included in the prohibition
- Where it is necessary to have a haircut and shave for one’s work, it is permitted.
- This period is not considered a time of “mazal ra” (bad luck), as are the three weeks leading up till Tisha BeAv. A court case with a non-Jew can be carried out.
- Bathing is as usual, nails can be cut, laundry done and meat eaten.
The above is a general summary of the main Halachot. There are many different customs amongst different communities, and it is advisable to consult your local rabbi about any specific questions.
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