Freyda, Daughter of the Alter Rebbe: The Balancing Act of Salt

🖨 Print

In the Torah, how do we understand salt? For one, salt was required alongside all sacrificial offerings at the Holy Temple. Some have used salt as an analogy for G-d’s love towards His people; just as the preservative prevents decay, G-d’s covenant preserves His love with the nation of Israel. People often enjoy adding salt to their food, even describing a meal or snack as “salty”, as its primary flavor. But salt only enhances other flavors, such as a savory meat dish – alone or, in excess, it is bad! There was a young Jewish woman named Freyda who used both the transformative and preservative properties of salt (literally and figuratively), in building her own character, as well as maintaining halachot.

For several years, when she was old enough to do so, “Freidkeh”, an endearment given by her parents, upheld the responsibility of cooking for her mother and father. Once, however, Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, her father, had invited a distinguished guest. Wanting to impress Rabbi Sholomo of Karlin (known for inspiring his students’ hearts to “fly to one another like the birds in heaven” in loud, rhythmic prayer)¹, Freyda’s mother insisted that she do the cooking. They were not only given the opportunity to honor a Chassidic master, like their husband and father, but to give to the poor, in that Rabbi Sholomo was known for giving all of his money to tzedakah.

Freyda, in a stubborn and determined fashion, insisted that “it was not fair” that her role of the kitchen be given over, just in time to properly honor a guest with a meal! As per the Alter Rebbe’s ruling, the Rebbetzin was appointed to cooking – prioritizing kavod to one’s mother over a guest – while Freyda was to salt the dish. To the honorable guest’s dismay, however, both “chefs” added in their own portion of salt – making it inedible. Her father, who learned to live far above the physical world, took a bite and proclaimed, “I no longer sense the taste of food!”²

What stands out more than the outcome of the meal, though, was Freyda’s ability to overcome her pure and zealous desire to honor a guest in order to respect her father and mother. She was not attempting to belittle her mother’s cooking abilities, or act “better-than”; Freyda saw a mitzvah being presented to her – hakhnasat orchim, hospitality to guests – and believed she would fulfill it to near perfection (due to her experienced hand in cooking).

…It is important to seek the full-picture when doing mitzvot (which can be clarified through learning halacha or asking a knowledgeable rav), so as to not go against G-d’s laws. Our yetzer hara, although often disguised with good-intentions, can be quite loud and convincing.

From this we learn the following: it is important to seek the full-picture when doing mitzvot (which can be clarified through learning halacha or asking a knowledgeable rav), so as to not go against G-d’s laws. Our yetzer hara, although often disguised with good-intentions, can be quite loud and convincing. When our inner voice sounds insistent and rushes us to move forward – such as Freyda insisting to hold ownership of kitchen duties over her mother – it is our uninformed yetzer hara. Once we’ve gained the proper Torah perspective on the matter, and have yishuv hadat, a settled mind, we can proceed. In Freyda’s case, her father knew clearly that it was more important for his daughter to honor the rebbetzin than dazzle the guest with her cooking. By heeding her father’s words, she “suppressed the bitterness” of dishonoring her mother. Without his daas Torah, Freyda likely would have followed her first instinct.

In addition to her eagerness to perform mitzvot, Freyda is well-known for her tremendous knowledge and comprehension of Torah’s mysticism. Typically, younger people, as well as women, were not encouraged to immerse themselves in the depths of Chassidic thought. It was not practical, and for women in particular, it was not seen as a priority compared to other aspects of life. It is only in recent generations that the Jewish world began to witness both men and women in classrooms learning the Torah’s secrets and profound, inner dimensions. Either as a result of her learning, or in having a naturally intuitive soul, Freyda had near supernatural abilities. The following story will give insight into but one of her tremendous moments: After the death of her father, the Rebbe’s followers drew close to his daughter, as they respected her as a descendent of their master.

Also, it was known, not only by his students, but others, that the Alter Rebbe held his daughter in tremendous regard. Later, as she herself began to approach death, she informed the chassidim (as many righteous people are made aware when they are passing from this world to the next), and requested they bury her next to her father. A few days later, Freyda, once again, called the chassidim together. Too weak to move at this point, she asked the chassidim to encircle her bed. Beginning to recite the Elokai Neshama prayer, Freyda proclaimed, “My G‑d, the soul which You have given within me is pure. You have created it, You have formed it, You have breathed it into me, and You preserve it within me…” When she continued with, “You will eventually take it from me…” she lifted her hands towards Heaven, and cried out, “Father, wait, I’m coming!”, referring to Rabbi Shneur. The chassidim, previously reluctant to obey her burial wishes, then understood that an individual who dies in such a remarkable way surely deserved to be buried next to the holy Alter Rebbe³.

The primary middah, or character trait, that is apparent in Freyda, is her zealousness. Even if enthusiasm for a cause is packed with “sweetness”, or sincere, heartfelt intentions, it must be balanced – as salt does. So too, if passion for a cause creates feelings of bitterness, that, too, must be balanced out. In the first story, her heart was in the right place; Freyda genuinely wanted to honor a guest! But it took the balanced daas Torah of her father – which she happily heeded – to do the right action. Secondly, as embittered many become near death, Freyda did not. Rather, her faith preserved her focus on the good – that she would soon be reunited, both being buried beside her father, and, in olam haba.

Reb Shlomo felt that this was worthwhile, because the external show of enthusiasm rouses the heart, and in this manner, people become genuinely excited with their prayers. ↩︎
Tauber, Y. (2003) Master of Taste Yerachmiel Tillesfrom, Kabbalah Online. Translated by Y. Tillesfrom. https://www.chabad.org/kabbalah/article_cdo/aid/1446349/jewish/A-Matter-of-Taste.htm. ↩︎
Feminine Scholarship Unparalleled: The Life of Fraida, the Alter Rebbe’s Daughter (no date) The Jewish Woman. https://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/719248/jewish/Feminine-Scholarship-Unparalleled.htm (Accessed: 05 February 2025). ↩︎