Case Study of a Woman’s Vows: The Nazirite Woman

The Mishna in nazir tells the story of Queen Helena, whose son had gone to war. She made a neder, a conditional vow, that if her son returned safely she would become a nazirite for seven years. Her son returned and she kept her promise, traveling to Jerusalem at the end of the seven-year period to bring the required korbanot. There, she was instructed by Beit Hillel to begin her nazirite period from the beginning, in accordance with Hillel’s opinion. In the end, she observed her vows for a total of twenty-one years. 

This story is one example in our tradition of a woman becoming a nazirite¹. It is explicit that the vow of nazirut is available for men and women alike, as the pasuk says: “Speak to the children of Israel, and you shall say to them: A man or woman who sets himself apart by making a nazirite vow to abstain for the sake of Hashem…” ² There are, however, some unique aspects to being a female nazirite. Let’s explore them.

Private Pledge

A nazirite woman is bound by the same restrictions as a male nazir would be: she may not cut her hair, drink wine, or be contaminated by a corpse. At the end of her period of nezirut, she would bring various korbanot.

Practically, these restrictions are far more private for a woman. She generally does not perform publicly with wine, such as with kiddush or havdalah. A married woman’s hair would be covered, as well. The only tell would have been in the times of the Mikdash, when a woman would be required to bring her korbanot at the end of her nazirite period. 

Man Revoking a Woman’s Vow

The more controversial feature of a woman’s nazirite vow is the possibility of it being revoked by her father or husband. Though this can not always be applied, it requires careful study. 

In which cases can a woman have her annulment revoked by the male figure in her life? The pasuk tells us explicitly: Those are the laws that Hashem enjoined upon Moshe between a husband and his wife, and as between a father and his daughter while in her father’s household, in her youth³. There are two specific positions a woman can be in that would allow anyone to have a say on her vow. 

The annulment of a woman’s vow does not mean she may not fulfill it, only that the punishment of potentially transgressing her neder is removed. In the case of a nazirite vow, specifically, there is little significance to complying to the individual aspects of the vow without the commitment. But it is important to remember that even if a woman had her vow annulled, she can not be forced by her husband or father to actually break its terms. She is always the master of her own choices.

The first case where a woman can have her vow revoked is בנעריה, In her youth, by her father, within a day of hearing about it. Practically speaking, this refers to the period of time from the beginning of her twelfth year, when she’s just turned eleven, until a half year after her bat mitzvah⁴. At that point, she is halachically considered an adult woman and her father can no longer nullify her vows. 

The more common one is in the context of a marriage, where a husband can revoke his wife’s vow, again within a day of finding out about it. There is no process of annulment for widows, divorcees, or adult single women, even if they live within their father’s home, as the pasuk says: The vow of a widow or of a divorced woman … whatever she has imposed on herself, shall be binding upon her.⁵

Between Husband and Wife

It is only in very specific cases that a woman’s vow can be annulled. A young girl’s vows need to be reviewed in general, to ascertain that she was fully aware of her commitment and its implications. This rationality is understandable, and the window of time for its application, decidedly short. Far more controversial is the question of why a married woman should need her husband’s confirmation at all.  

But here too, the actual allowance for annulment is quite narrow. The cases in which a husband can undo his wife’s vow is learned from the pasuk: Every vow and every sworn obligation of self-denial may be upheld by her husband or annulled by her husband. From here, the Mishnah learns that any oath a woman takes on that can be painful or damaging to her nefesh, her husband can annul. From the words between a husband and wife⁶, we learn that if a woman makes a vow pertaining to her relationship with her husband, he also has the chance to revoke it. Any vow that does not inflict pain to herself or concern their marriage remains between a woman and Hashem and cannot be revoked.

A marriage is a commitment for life. A man who takes a woman takes upon himself to support her for all her days, and provide a dowry if he divorces her, as stipulated in the ketubah contract. In marrying her, he takes responsibility for her sustenance and well-being, even if she chooses to earn a living herself. It is not unreasonable that he can have a say on any self-infliction she may want to take upon herself, or in matters that pertain to their relationship. It may sound anti-egalitarian to the modern ear, but a Torah marriage comes with defined roles, and commensurate with those, responsibilities and privileges. 

Layers of Protection

In a society where words are thrown around lightly, we need to make an effort to appreciate the gravity with which the Torah approaches a promise. The Sforno tells us about oaths: One who transgresses his word has transgressed Hashem. But a woman who is not within her own sovereignty has not transgressed if it had been revoked. 

The annulment of a woman’s vow does not mean she may not fulfill it, only that the punishment of potentially transgressing her neder is removed. In the case of a nazirite vow, specifically, there is little significance to complying to the individual aspects of the vow without the commitment. But it is important to remember that even if a woman had her vow annulled, she can not be forced by her husband or father to actually break its terms. She is always the master of her own choices.

Rav Shimshon Rafael Hirsch writes: The Torah of Hashem understands the fickle nature of humans and his negligence regarding his words and commitments, which might bring him to vows and oaths that were made with a lightness of mind…⁷  Because of this, says Rav Hirsch, and the severity of breaking a vow, the Torah provided certain leeways and exit pathways for commitments made without perfect consciousness. 

There are technical halachic ways out from a neder or shavua, oath or vow. Beit Din can always revoke an oath if they deem it insincere, made in error, or otherwise invalid. A person’s vow can be annulled if he has charatah, regret for his commitment, or has found a pesach, a loophole. 

The final set of protections Rav Hirsch discusses is the annulment of a woman’s vow by her husband or father. Broadly speaking, women are more emotional and altruistic. It is not hard to imagine that a woman might take upon herself a vow that is a bit overdone, pushing herself to sacrifice a bit too much. The possibility of annuling a woman’s vow provides an extra layer of foresight by the man who cherishes and cares for her⁸. 

The nazirite vow is about pledging oneself to Hashem: A man or woman who sets himself apart by making a nazirite vow to abstain for the sake of the Hashem…⁹ Giving ourselves over to Hashem is something we can do all day, every day, by living the way He requires us to with complete dedication, even and especially when it offends our sensibilities. 

1. The other example in the Mishna is Bernice, sister of King Agrippa II ↩︎
2. Bamidbar 6:2 ↩︎
3. Bamidbar 30:17 ↩︎
4. Rashi Bamidbar 30:4 ↩︎
5. Bamidbar 30:10 ↩︎
6. Bamidbar 30:17 ↩︎
7. Sefer Chorev, Chapter 4 ↩︎
8. See Rebbetzin Chana Bracha Siegelbaum, Women at the Crossroads, pages 153-154. ↩︎
9. Bamidbar 6:2 ↩︎