Emor: The Strength in Soft Speech

This week’s parsha is called Emor, from the early words of the portion ‘Emor el hakohanim,’ ‘Say to the priests.’ The parsha begins with an instruction to the priests of the nation. There is something very special about ‘amira,’ about ‘saying,’ that may have skipped our notice. If we think about it, how many times in the Torah have we seen this root, ‘amar’ being used in a command? When Hashem commands us to do something, it uses ‘daber,’ ‘to speak,’ which is a slightly harsher word than ‘amar,’ ‘to say.’ Why is this softer root used here?

Rav Moshe Feinstein explains that the Priests have so many laws to fulfil, more than the average Jew. They are involved in the special avoda (service) of the Temple, the technicalities of korbanot (sacrifices) and multiple other duties. For this reason, Hashem did not wish to convey the laws with the harshness of ‘dibbur.’ He chose instead the lighter expression of ‘amira’ in order to ensure that the extra obligations were given over to future priests with sweetness and softness, and not as a heavy burden. 

As women, we may be aware of another time that ‘amira’ is used. The powerful cry of ‘Ko tomar l’beit yaakov, v’tagid libnei yisrael.’ (Shemot 19:3) ‘So you shall say to Beit Yaakov and tell to the Children of Israel.’ In the dramatic moments before the acceptance of the Torah at Sinai, the Jewish people are camped around the mountain and Hashem calls out to Moshe ‘Ko tomar l’beit Yaakov…’ Tell the Jewish people these things, to prepare them for the receiving of the Torah. Who is Beit Yaakov? Is it the same as Bnei Yisrael? If so, why are both of them mentioned? And why is Beit Yaakov ‘said’ whereas Bnei Yisrael is ‘told?’ 

Beit Yaakov are the Jewish women and Bnei Yisrael are the men. The women are given the Torah with ‘amira,’ with softness and sweetness, while the men are given the technicalities and hardcore details, ‘haggada.’ The women are given the Torah first, because it is their influence and love that shapes the growth of Torah throughout the generations. It is the women who fill their homes with excitement for Torah, inspire their children to emulate their ways and make spirituality so tasty and sweet. All with the special power of ‘amira,’ the strength of soft speech.

If we return to the parsha, the ‘amira’ we have been discussing is not about women at all. It is about the Kohanim, the priests and the way in which they educate their children and relay the priestly laws. Yet, there is a powerful connection here. If we were to paint an image of the Jewish mother, we would likely associate her with the heavenly Shabbos candles and challot (loaves). These two mitzvot are special to the Jewish woman; it is these mitzvot which fill the Jewish home with that pure glow of sanctity and spiritual bliss. Rav Pincus explains that the candles at the Shabbat table represent the Menorah that stood in its golden glory in the Temple and the challot are symbolic of the Lechem Hapanim, the special showbread which was baked in the Temple. In other words, the candles that the woman lights and the challa dough she bakes are emblematic of her very own Temple service!

As we count each day of the Omer, we are preparing ourselves for receiving the Torah anew. Both within ourselves as well as for our families, we can choose to receive and deliver Torah with this amira, this softness and sweetness. We can view mitzvot as a harsh set of laws or we can view them as the spiritual milk for our souls. We could look at the complex laws of brachot as a burden or we could use them to appreciate the intricacies of the food Hashem creates.

What does this all mean? It means that every Jewish woman is the Kohen of her own household. Every Jewish woman has special priestly responsibilities and duties. The Kohanim educate their young with ‘amira,’ with soft speech, in order to convey the sweetness of their extra obligations. Jewish women too, are spoken to with ‘amira,’ soft speech, to convey the sweetness of their obligations. And, it is with ‘amira,’ with this soft speech that we draw in our children to mirror our love of spirituality with the trademark strength and sweetness that only a mother can. 

As we count each day of the Omer, we are preparing ourselves for receiving the Torah anew. Both within ourselves as well as for our families, we can choose to receive and deliver Torah with this amira, this softness and sweetness. We can view mitzvot as a harsh set of laws or we can view them as the spiritual milk for our souls. We could look at the complex laws of brachot as a burden or we could use them to appreciate the intricacies of the food Hashem creates. We could view the laws of shemirat halashon as tough, or we could see the beautiful world of positive speech which their observance leads to. We can teach our children that since Har Sinai, we have 613 checklist obligations, or we can teach them that since Har Sinai we have 613 pathways to create a loving connection with Hashem. It is all a matter of perspective.

May we merit to receive and give over Torah with true amira, living up to our call of “ko tomar lbeit yaakov.” And may it be not just the Kohanim, but all of the Jewish people who see their obligations as something sweet.