Contrasting Women and the Sefira of Tiferet

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We have now begun the third week of the omer, the week of tiferet. Tiferet is a midda which takes the two previous middot and combines them into a midda greater than the sum of its parts. The Mishna in Avot¹ tells us that the ideal path in life is one which brings about tiferet for oneself and for others. Somehow, this trait has spiritual repercussions which demonstrate that we are living on the straight path. Let us therefore describe this trait and explore how we can integrate it as Jewish women.

Tiferet is a trait of perfection. It is a wholesome blend, a measured synthesis of both chesed and gevura. Tiferet is the trait of Yaakov who mastered the art of both Avraham’s chesed and Yitzchak’s gevura and carved a pathway which bound the two. Chesed with no gevura can lead to downpour, while gevura with no chesed can cause a drought. Tiferet is the ultimate balance – like the ideal amount of rain; not too little, not too much.

Rabbi Daniel Fine teaches that Yaakov represents multiplicity. Of all the Avot, he had the most wives, the most children and lived in multiple different places. It was his trait of tiferet, his ability to blend together chesed and gevura with varied nuances, which enabled him to connect with the many people in his life. His individualized blessings to his children at the end of his life tell us that he knew each child’s nature and related to them according to their essence. He also related to his wives differently, specifically with Rachel and Leah who had different missions as the mothers of the Jewish people.

Tiferet manifests itself in the third day of Creation: the creation of greenery. While trees are rooted in a fixed spot and are grown under specific conditions (gevura), they produce beautiful flowers and fruit (chesed). This new creation is a result of both discipline; careful watering and anchorage as well as kindness; the birth and growth of new life. When the acts of discipline and kindness combine, they harmonise to create something far greater than the sum of their parts.

The first message we can internalise from this trait of tiferet as Jewish women, therefore, is to assess our own relationships. As friends, as wives, as mothers, as colleagues – we need to examine if we are taking one approach for all personalities (like chesed or gevura) or if we have successfully adopted a “tiferet mindset” where we create a powerful synthesis between the two to relate to different personalities in our lives. We can improve our relationship with our students, our employers and employees, deepen our understanding of our spouse and children if only we consciously choose to relate to them in this harmonious, blended way.

Tiferet can also be translated as beauty. Beauty in Hashem’s world, beauty of truth and the beauty of good middot. The midda of tiferet combines with other middot such as chesed, gevura and hod to create different streaks of beauty. Hod itself is another word for beauty and when hod is channeled through the midda of tiferet (hod she’btiferet) it creates a high spiritual focus on beauty. Rabbi Yaacov Haber writes in his book on Sefirot, that a practical way to blend these two forms of beauty is to integrate beauty into a mitzva. Polish our Shabbat candlesticks, buy a beautiful kli (cup) for netilat yadayim or use a new siddur. When we introduce beautiful physicality into our spirituality we are combining one beauty with another and carving a beautiful pathway: hod she’btiferet.

In fact, it is often the woman who is charged with overseeing the physical aspects of the home; the wallpaper, the couches and the furniture. Although this seems highly materialistic, a Jewish woman can elevate her interest in interior design to the level of hod she’btiferet. Her gorgeous kitchen is even more impressive when she cooks food in it for someone in need, her new table adopts a special sheen when she hosts guests around it and her jewelry sparkles extra brightly when it is worn in honor of Yom Tov.

Another facet of tiferet is chesed she’btiferet, when we use kindness to find beauty. Rabbi Haber quotes the words of Beit Hillel who rule that if we see an ugly bride on her wedding day, we tell her she is beautiful. While we may wonder how the upright Torah can encourage us to lie, Tosfot tells us that it is always true. There is always a beauty even within an ugly bride, we just have to find it. Chessed she’btiferet instructs us to use our love for our fellow Jew to find beauty. Women, with their bina yeteira are endowed with a special ability to pierce through the outer layers of the person and see the beauty within. To see the goodness even in the most challenging child, student or colleague. This spiritual vision of chesed she’btiferet will open our eyes to behold layer of beauty previously hidden from us.

The final area we will explore is gevura she’btiferet, discipline within beauty. One way in which we can access this practically is by looking at nature. When we gaze at Hashem’s world we are simultaneously faced with tremendous beauty and well as incredible precision. The sun rises and sets, the tide goes in and out, the leaves grow green and then wither. The level of gevura, boundaries underpinning all the stunning sights, tiferet, is astonishing. All the beauty we see is created by multiple processes, working on a constant basis, to the finest degree. Rabbi Haber points out that we adopt this perspective, of gevura she’btiferet in the bracha of Asher Yatzar. We describe the wonders of the human body and the way it works and then we say in the conclusion “umafli laasot” that Hashem made a pele, a miracle. Indeed it is a miracle to combine such beauty with such precision, tiferet with gevura.

The sefira of tiferet and its surrounding avoda will bring so much beauty into our lives. Not just any beauty, but the beauty of wholeness. A beauty of balance, a beauty of adorning the physical with spiritual, a beauty which is concealed inside and a beauty which underpins the creation of the world.