The ABCs of Prayer

Where Does the Concept of Prayer Come From?

In the Shema, we are given the commandment to ‘serve Him (Hashem) with all your heart’¹. The Gemara² explains that we achieve this through prayer. For this reason, prayer is referred to as the ‘work of the heart’³. Prayer is also a replacement for the sacrifices of the Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The sacrifices were a key way for us to connect to Hashem, and after the destruction of the Second Temple, the Men of the Great Assembly formulated and wrote the formal prayers that we have today. Since the Men of the Great Assembly were prophets, the words themselves contain a form of prophecy and therefore have a profound impact on the spiritual worlds⁴. The commandment of prayer is not limited to three times a day, but also applies any time in the day when we are in a time of distress⁵, or at any point we deem necessary. 

Intention: An Essential Part of Prayer

The Rambam lists five essential elements of prayer, one of which is ‘kavana’, which can be translated as either ‘intention’ or ‘focus’, and he writes that “any prayer without kavana is not a prayer”. Kavana is therefore an essential element of prayer. Rav Pincus⁶ writes that it’s impossible to simply begin praying and expect to have kavana without any preparation prior to praying. Like anything important, we need to prepare. 

Interestingly, the pious men of centuries ago used to prepare for a whole hour before they prayed! Although we are not likely to take an hour of preparation time before praying, we can certainly take a leaf out of their book and dedicate even a few minutes to ready ourselves before praying. Practically speaking, we can prepare by clearing away distractions and making sure we’re focused on the task at hand which is conversing with the Creator of the Universe⁷. 

The Ramchal (in Messilat Yesharim) writes that there are three things that a person should think about before they converse with G-d. Firstly, to realize that you are about to speak with Hashem; secondly, to contemplate Hashem’s greatness; and thirdly, to realize our own lowliness.  

Prayer Transforms You

If Hashem knows exactly what I need and what is best for me then why do I need to ask G-d for anything? Does my prayer change G-d’s mind?

One understanding of how prayer works is that rather than the prayer changing Hashem, instead, I am the one who is changed. Originally, Hashem gave me a trial or tribulation because in order to come close to Him and fulfill my mission in this world, I needed to endure that difficulty. Through prayer, I change myself to the extent that I no longer need to endure that trial anymore. Since I am now on a higher spiritual level, I have become, so to speak, a new person – one who no longer needs to endure that suffering to come close to Hashem, and I am therefore deserving of a different Divine decree⁸. 

One understanding of how prayer works is that rather than the prayer changing Hashem, instead, I am the one who is changed. Originally, Hashem gave me a trial or tribulation because in order to come close to Him and fulfill my mission in this world, I needed to endure that difficulty.

An analogy which illustrates this idea is that of a man who is told by the doctor that he must undergo heart surgery in order to treat his heart condition. The man expresses a willingness to work on his physical health, to follow a strict diet and engage in a regular routine of intense exercise. After a period of weeks of eating healthily and exercising, the doctor tells the man that the heart surgery will no longer be necessary. Did the man change the doctor’s mind? Clearly, he did not. Instead, the man became a newly transformed and healthy person and is therefore no longer in need of surgery. The same is true regarding prayer. In our new and improved state, the previously prescribed experience is no longer necessary. 

Just as the doctor knows what is best for the man, so too Hashem knows what is best for us. Prayer can cause a change of outcome for us not because we cause Hashem to change, but rather because we cause ourselves to change. In line with this idea, the Hebrew word to pray, ‘hitpallel’, is reflexive, which demonstrates that through prayer we change and refine ourselves. It also literally means ‘to judge oneself’. Prayer is a tool which enables us to evaluate ourselves and remind ourselves of who we should aim to become, therefore allowing us to refine our desires and to transform us into different people who are deserving of different outcomes.

 Prayer Is the Key that Unlocks the Blessing

Rav Tzadok Hakohen explains that in order to find the essence of a concept, we must look at the first time it appears in Torah. The first man to pray to Hashem was Adam. “No shrub of the field was yet on earth and no grass of the field had yet sprouted, because Hashem G-d had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the soil”⁹. Rashi explains that the reason that Hashem ‘had not sent rain’ was because ‘there was no man to work the ground’, and that Hashem waited for Adam to recognise the need for rain and pray for it.

Adam was worthy of having rain sent down, what was missing was Adam’s prayer. Rav Yerucham Levovitz¹⁰ commented in light of Rashi’s explanation that there is an abundance of blessing at the edge of the heavens waiting for us, but Hashem created a system whereby prayer is required to bring forth that blessing”¹¹. Rabbi Ashear continues by writing that although we think that our physical efforts which we invest in products are what mainly affect the outcome, it is in fact our prayer which is the primary reason for an effective outcome. Hashem has created the world in a way that in order to access blessing we need to pray for what we want.

An Unanswered Prayer

Often frustratingly, there have been times when we have prayed a lot and yet did not receive our desired outcome. Firstly, it should give us strength to know that no prayer ever goes to waste. For example, your prayer may benefit your children in years to come, or perhaps your prayer has helped someone else who had been struggling with the same issue. Secondly, the goal of prayer is to form a relationship with Hashem¹². Even if a particular prayer has not been answered in the way that we had hoped, we will inevitably have a closer connection with Hashem because of it. Regardless of the outcome, prayer is inherently worthwhile because it means that we have a closer relationship with Hashem.

In life, the people we are close to are usually the ones we spend the most time with and speak to most often. By setting aside time to speak with Hashem we demonstrate to Him that He is important to us, and that we desire a close relationship with Hashem. It is up to us to open our mouths and let the blessings and closeness come our way!

¹ Devarim 11:13

² Taanit 2a

³ Gemara in Taanit 2a

⁴ Rabbi Cherki

⁵ Ramban on Ramban Sefer Hamitzvot Mitzvah 5

⁶ In his book ‘Shaarim b’Tefilla’

⁷  Rav Pincus in Sha’arim b’Tefilla

⁸ Rav Zev Leff

⁹ Bereishit 2.4

¹⁰ Daas Torah, Vol 2

¹¹ Living Emunah, Rabbi David Ashear.

¹² Rav Soloveitchik, Worship of the Heart