Chava, The Giver

Adam and Chava lived in a place of exquisite perfection. Their world was beautiful and rich, filled with every physical and spiritual comfort imaginable. Their only command was not to eat of the Tree of Knowledge, the Eitz Hadaas. However, within one day of their creation, the snake had enticed Chava to eat of its fruit, who in turn convinced Adam to eat of it too, and they were cast out of the Garden of Eden.

Chava was a woman of unimaginable light, an almost purely spiritual being. The serpent, knowing her essence and intense spirituality, used an almost irresistible argument. To eat of the fruit of the Eitz Hadaas, he said, would make her like G-d.

True spirituality can be more intoxicating than any physical pleasure. To a spiritual being such as Chava, the thought of being more G-dly, almost like G-d Himself, was a tremendous temptation.

Chava was still scared to eat the fruit. Adam had told her that should she even touch the tree, she would die. He put a “fence” around the commandment of G-d, telling Chava that touching, as well as eating the fruit, would result in her death.

Of course, in order to lure Chava to actually reach out and eat the fruit, the serpent appeased her fear of death by showing her that one who touched the tree did not die, thus actually eating of it would be of no consequence either.

The tragedy of the Eitz Hadaas reverberates throughout the millennia, with the curses put on Adam, Chava and the snake, felt my man, woman, and beast until today. Chava’s punishment was threefold. Pain in pregnancy and childbirth. The difficulty of child bearing. And within the framework of marriage, her husband would rule over her.

G-d is not punitive. He is kinder than the most loving Father imaginable. The punishments He gave are exactly the ones Chava needed in order for her to come back to Him, to completion, to wholeness, to peace. The punishments G-d bestowed were course correction to Chava in order to show her, and all women, how to achieve completeness, and get back to the Garden of Eden.

In order to understand how Chava’s punishments were not punitive, it is important to understand what the underlying fault was: taking. She wanted to take what wasn’t hers. Her course correction is to become the ultimate giver.

Women are givers of life. Only women can bring children into this world. Only wives can raise up their husbands and give them the belief and support they need to become truly whole.

And in a very special and beautiful way, a woman can even give to G-d. Quoted from Rabbi Ephraim Goldstein¹, the way to give to G-d is by allowing Him to give to you.

There is nothing more stifling than a Being who desperately wishes to give, but is stymied time and again. By opening the channels of receptivity, in the case of G-d, by doing mitzvot and keeping the Torah, we are allowing G-d to fill us with good, to give to us, and to give Him the utlimate pleasure by allowing Him to give what He so desperately wants to.

In the same vein, a woman can give to her husband by allowing him to give to her. Receiving, not taking, can be a form of tremendous giving. So many women today will not allow others to give to them and do not even realize that they are stifling the other, who desperately want to give; be it physical help, love, attention, care, or any other form of giving. 

For a woman to give both by giving and by receiving is an art of immense magnitude. To create life is a G-dly act. To breathe life into children, into a husband, a community, a project, is a woman’s force, a woman’s restitution, and ultimately, a woman’s redemption.

In Chava’s taking, she was neither giving through giving nor giving through receiving. The woman of today balances the tremendous task of being an extreme giver in all ways; physical, mental, spiritual and emotional. Even when she receives, she does it in way so to make the giver feel empowered. She gives through her receiving.

Ironically, Chava taking did get what she wanted. She wanted to be like G-d, and G-d made her like Him, by giving her the ability to truly give, in a way that is almost unfathomable. For a woman to give both by giving and by receiving is an art of immense magnitude.

To create life is a G-dly act. To breathe life into children, into a husband, a community, a project, is a woman’s force, a woman’s restitution, and ultimately, a woman’s redemption.

The woman is always giving. Most women don’t have much time to breathe, between giving to their spouses, parents, children, friends, relatives, strangers. The ultimate woman is the ultimate giver.

The ultimate tzadiekas, the most righteous women of our generation, such as Rebbitzen Batsheva Kanievsky, Rebbitzen Henny Machlis, Rebbitzen Chaya Sara Kramer, were all constantly giving.

To analyze the juxtaposition of giving versus taking, observe: The taker is a receiver. The receiver must create a vessel (keli) in order to accept from the giver. But the giver needs no container, no vessel. The giver attaches to G-d, and can give, like a faucet, channeling divinity, giving and filling the taker’s vessel, no matter how big it may be.

Chava’s punishment was her way back to G-d. The ability to become the greatest giver, after being the world’s first true taker, was a chance at truly rectifying the first sin of all mankind. The giving we do each and every day is slowly repairing the sin of Chava. Our giving leads to growing, and to give and to grow is to be close to G-d.

 _{¹ Sefer Daas Tevunos, Rabbi Friedlander Edition, page nun alef, on the hagadah on the bottom, #19}