The Outgoing Personality of Dinah

🖨 Print

Dinah was the only daughter born to Yaakov mentioned in the text. Despite her unique status, she is a very quiet character. For the most part when she is mentioned in the text, she is not active, but rather things are happening around her or done to her…

One of the times Dinah is mentioned is actually due to her absence. In Chapter 32, when Yaakov and Esav meet for the first time in years, he sets up a convoy of gifts and then at night moves his family; “And he arose during the night, and he took his two wives, and his two maidservants and his eleven children…”¹ Rashi asks why only eleven (as Yaakov has 12 children), where is Dinah? Rashi answers that Yaakov put Dinah in a chest so that she wouldn’t be seen by Esav. Rashi further explains that this was a mistake by Yaakov because it is likely that had Esav married Dinah, they would have grown together, and she could and probably would have influenced him to improve his lifestyle.²

There isn’t really any mention of Dinah for a few chapters, when she is mentioned again she is being active for the first and last time in her own story; “Dinah, the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see among the daughters of the land.”³ There are two main active verbs in this first verse, “went out” and “see”, but the first one is a definitive action while the second is an infinitive. Usually infinitive verbs are used to explain why a person is doing a particular action. In this case, to explain why Dinah “went out.” Therefore, it is important to note that while Dinah took action by “going out” it was the “seeing” that was the true motivation behind her actions.

With the understanding that “seeing” was the main motivation, it is even more interesting that the next verse begins with “seeing”; (וירא) And Shechem the son of Hazor, the Hivvite, the prince of the land, saw her, and he took her, lay with her and violated her.”⁴ According to a basic reading of the Pshat, Dinah “went out” so as to see and instead she was seen. But of course, the actions described in this story carry more weight than the simple reading.

There is a passage in Avot D’Rabbi Natan that paints a picture of the household before Shechem took Dinah. Yaakov seated inside the tent, at the table learning with all his sons. However, there was no space for Dinah. Therefore, she was not occupied, she was ignored, she was not “seen” nor was she being protected by her father and brothers, making it easy for Shechem to lure her out and take advantage of her.

Despite the motivation being the “seeing”, the first action mentioned is “went out”. The Midrash⁵ comments that the term “went out” is also used for Leah, when she “went out” to Yaakov⁶; ‘like mother, like daughter.

The Malbim⁷ explains that when Leah “went out” to Yaakov, while it was in a way to get attention, it was for the purpose of bringing life into the world and indeed it did bring the birth of a righteous son; Yissachar. Therefore, when the Midrash talks of Dinah being like her mother, it is not meaning to say that Dinah and her mother broke the boundaries of modesty, but rather to point out that they both went out for modest reasons. Leah to become pregnant with her husband’s child and Dinah to go see “the daughters of the land.”

The Abarbanel⁸ explains further that Leah was not really an outgoing person, but rather that she was the one who stayed home while Rachel went out with the sheep. In addition, she was the daughter of Yaakov, the “dweller in tents”, and therefore his daughter would likely follow suit if not more so. However, she was the only girl in the household. Therefore, she wanted to go out to be with the other girls in the area.

In addition to being the only girl and wanting connection with other girls, according to some Dinah was also somewhat neglected in her household. There is a passage in Avot D’Rabbi Natan⁹ that paints a picture of the household before Shechem took Dinah. Yaakov seated inside the tent, at the table learning with all his sons. However, there was no space for Dinah. Therefore, she was not occupied, she was ignored, she was not “seen” nor was she being protected by her father and brothers, making it easy for Shechem to lure her out and take advantage of her.

The Abarbanel then builds on the commentary of Rabbi Eliezer¹⁰ and explains that Yaakov had chosen a property that was close to the city of Shechem and belonged to Chamor, Shechem’s father. Therefore, when Yaakov purchased the land to rent the sons of Chamor and Yaakov met on the land and that is when Shechem laid eyes on Dinah. But since he saw that she was like her parents and she remained within the safety of her home, he brought the girls of the town outside her home to play instruments and lure her out. The Or HaChayim¹¹ points out that if Yaakov was not a wealthy, famous man who chose to rent from Shechem’s family right at the entrance to the city, Shechem would not have even been aware of Dinah and would not have raped her.

If this Midrash is true, then there is a discrepancy in the text. Shouldn’t it write that Shechem saw her, lured/tricked her, took her, lay with her and violated her? But rather the verb “see” is written, then Shechem is introduced and then the verbs quickly follow each other to show rapid action; “…and he took her, lay with her, and violated her.”

There is a discussion among the commentaries as to why the text writes both that Shechem lay with her and violated her. According to the Ramban¹², the term used for “violated” (וַיְעַנֶּֽהָ) is only used when someone is raped. Therefore, the text “repeats” itself to make it clear that Dinah did not consent to Shechem.

The idea that Shechem seduced Dinah is hinted to in the parallelism of the verbs for “seeing” in the Pshat. Dinah wanted “to be seen” and Shechem “saw her.” When it comes to the matters of the heart, people will often say that they feel that the person they love is the one who “sees” them for who they really are. Dinah wanted “to be seen”, she wanted interpersonal connection. Therefore, Shechem was able to easily seduce her, because finally, someone was “seeing” her. Referring back to Rashi¹³, Yaakov hid Dinah, so Esav wouldn’t “see” her and therefore Yaakov was punished with her being taken by Shechem. Perhaps, on a more psychological level, had Yaakov given Dinah the opportunity “to be seen” and to grow with someone she could have a loving and interpersonal connection with she would not have been fooled by Shechem.

It is well known in psychology¹⁴ that a child that experienced neglect will have low self-esteem, as well as other issues. It is known that Leah was not the favorite in Yaakov’s household and neither were her children, and therefore, all the more so her daughter. If we combine the knowledge that Dinah came into the world as a less favored child and the image of Yaakov and his sons essentially ignoring Dinah, it is no surprise that she went out of the home to be with the girls of the town; she was starved for social interaction. This would have made her even easier to seduce. She likely not only desired a social life but also favor and attention from men, since those around her did not favor her. Shechem saw her at her home, lured her out and took her, seduced her and before she even understood what was happening he defiled her.

The story of Dinah is a tragic one, but it is one we can learn from. On the part of Leah, while she had good intentions, she needed to be more subtle so as not to draw too much attention to herself and therefore teach her daughter to do so. On the part of Dinah, while it is valid to want social interaction and interpersonal connection, there is always danger searching for those connections outside before building them in a healthy way within the household, especially when dwelling near strangers who you know don’t share the same values as you. And on the part of Yaakov, the brothers and the whole household, picking favorites and ignoring children will likely usually lead to later, larger problems. Therefore, the family unit as a whole is of the utmost importance for keeping a household safe. When everyone in a family feels loved, they are able to go out into the world and recognize real love as opposed to seduction, something Dinah had not learned when she “went out” so as “to be seen.”

בראשית ל״ב:כ״ג ↩︎
רש״י על בראשית ל״ב:כ״ג ↩︎
בראשית ל״ד:א׳ ↩︎
בראשית ל״ד ב׳ ↩︎
בראשית רבה פ׳ /מדרש תנחומא וישלח ז ↩︎
בראשית ל׳ט״ז ↩︎
מלבים על בראשית ל״ד:א׳ ↩︎
אברבנאל על בראשית ל״ד:א׳ ↩︎
קראתי בכל לב וישלח ד׳ ה׳ ↩︎
פרקי דרבי אליעזר ל״ח:א׳-ב׳ ↩︎
אור החיים על בראשית ל״ד:א׳ ↩︎
רמב״ן על בראשית ל״ד:א׳ ↩︎
רש״י על בראשית ל״ב:כ״ג ↩︎
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/childhood-emotional-neglect#effects-in-adulthood
↩︎