Prayer and Hitbodedut: Reflections on Connecting to Hashem in Different Ways

How many times have I raced through davening because of a busy schedule? Or got distracted by the people around me, noises outside, or even the phone ringing? And I can’t even count the number of moments where my own trifling thoughts creep into my daily prayer that I can’t even remember the words I’ve just recited. I love communicating with Hashem. By opening up a siddur each day, I have the ability to tap into a conversation with My Creator. And despite the awesomeness of this daily opportunity, it’s still a challenge. It is from my own personal struggle with praying with kavanah — proper intention — that I discovered the advantages of incorporating both the siddur and hitbodedut as a means to bolster my communication with Hashem. 

According to the Shulchan Aruch, both men and women are required to pray each day. While there is no prescribed form of prayer in the Torah, the Rambam in the Mishneh Torah¹ states that we are each required to first praise Hashem, then offer a humble supplication asking for our needs, and finally thank Hashem for all that He bestows upon us. The specific prayers found in our daily siddurim, most notably the Shemoneh Esrei, follow the Rambam’s formula of praise, request, and gratitude. By opening a siddur everyday and davening, we can focus on the holy words in the text to bring us closer to Hashem. In addition to praying from a siddur, however, there is also another way for us to connect to G-d. Introduced to the Jewish world by Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, hitbodedut refers to setting aside time to “speak one’s piece with one’s Maker…” in a quiet place, and “in the language one normally uses.”² It does not take the place of praying from a siddur, but adds to it and can help us create a more intimate relationship with Hashem. Let’s reflect on both forms of prayer and how they can help us connect with The Almighty.  

How wonderful it is that we are all given the opportunity to talk with G-d! I try to remind myself of this if I’m rushing through davening. I wouldn’t speed through a conversation with a dignitary, how much more so The Almighty Himself. On the other hand, there may be periods during the day, outside of the times we pray from a siddur, where we feel the need to talk to Hashem.

When we think of prayer, we may often view it as time bound. After all, there are morning, afternoon, and evening tefillot. These tefillot give us guidelines as to when to say each and requires us to fit our prayers in during a specific timeframe. For people who lack time management skills, this is quite helpful. It builds prayer into an already busy schedule and ensures that we do not forget to pray Shacharit, Mincha, or Maariv. And although women are exempt from time bound mitzvot, we are not exempt from prayer. The Mishnah Berurah³ notes that most halachic authorities view this as the obligation to say Shemoneh Esrei twice a day, at Shacharit and Mincha. By carving out time in the morning and afternoon to pray, we remind ourselves of our relationship with Hashem throughout the day. How wonderful it is that we are all given the opportunity to talk with G-d! I try to remind myself of this if I’m rushing through davening. I wouldn’t speed through a conversation with a dignitary, how much more so The Almighty Himself. On the other hand, there may be periods during the day, outside of the times we pray from a siddur, where we feel the need to talk to Hashem. Although Rebbe Nachman advocates that hitbodedut be practiced by secluding oneself in a room or field⁴, I feel we can also utilize hitbodedut at any time—sitting on the bus, washing the dishes, or taking a walk. The beauty of hitbodedut is that we can tap into connecting to Hashem whenever the need or desire arises. By doing so, we can immediately elevate our awareness of The Almighty and our relationship with Him. 

Prayers in our siddurim are structured into various sections, each with different themes and meanings. There are brachot, verses of song, passages from Tehillim, the Amidah, etc. Composed by our sages and tzadikim, the prayers found in the siddur are beautiful passages that not only praise G-d’s greatness, but also arouse us to remember that Hashem is Our Father and Our King. He wants us to be close to Him, and the holy words we read each day are meant to inspire us to reach that closeness, as well as new spiritual heights. I find that the more I keep my eyes on the text and focus on each word, the better I drown out any outside distractions. 

Even so, this can be challenging. By adding hitbodedut into our lives, we can introduce another way of speaking to Hashem. We can talk to Him in our native language, in our own words and in ways that make sense to us. It is not structured, like praying from a siddur. Instead, we can express ourselves to Hashem and allow the emotions from our heart to create our own personal supplication to G-d. Rebbe Nachman follows the Rambam by starting his prayers with a praise to G-d and ends each one with a prayer of thanks. Similarly, we can praise and thank Hashem as we beseech His guidance and blessings, at any time. Perhaps we are in a challenging situation or recently received disheartening news. In addition to saying the holy words of tefillah, we can also utilize hitbodedut and enter a new path toward prayer. 

Another difference between praying from a siddur and hitbodedut is the setting. Men are required to pray with a minyan, and therefore most prayer takes place in a synagogue. While women are not required to pray with a minyan, many do, particularly on Shabbat and Chagim. Praying as part of a community can have a tremendous effect on people. For many of us, the prayers and songs recited together evoke stronger spiritual emotions and feelings. It motivates us to focus better and concentrate more. I know that certain melodies I hear in shul, puts me in the right frame of mind and helps me find the kavanah (intention) I need to make my prayers meaningful. When we pray together we become Am Echad—one nation. With unity we gain the merit of the congregation we pray with so that, the Talmud says, our prayers are accepted even if they may lack kavanah. On the other hand, hitbodedut focuses on private prayer and meditation. Rebbe Nachman maintains that setting aside focused, private time to communicate with Hashem “is an extremely good path and guideline for drawing closer to G-d”⁵. In order to do this, it’s helpful to find a quiet place, free from distractions. By secluding ourselves during hitbodedut, we essentially create a safe space for open dialogue with G-d. With little to no distraction, we can concentrate on allowing our words to flow freely in a straightforward manner. By practicing this, we can connect to Hashem daily and improve our service to Him. 

Prayer from a siddur and hitbodedut are both means of coming closer to Hashem. Our daily tefilot provides structure, time, and inspiration to connect with Our Creator, both privately and in a community setting. Hitbodedut encourages us to find solitary moments during the day to have a private audience with Hashem in order to pour out our soul to Him in a manner that’s easiest for us. By incorporating both of these unique ways of talking to G-d, I’ve found that I’m more attentive during prayer. 

¹ Sefer Ahavah 1:2

² Likutei Moharan II 25:1-2

³ 106:4

⁴ Likutei Moharan II 25:1

⁵  Likutei Moharan II 25:5