A Closer Look at Eishet Chayil

A woman of valor, who can find? We sing these words of praise for the accomplished wife every Friday night. They are accredited to King Solomon, as they are found at the end of his Book of Proverbs, where he shares his wisdom with the world. Those twenty-two verses extol the virtues of a righteous woman, and it behooves us to take a closer look so we can understand what traits create a woman of valor and how we can emulate them. 

Eishet Chayil is structured alphabetically and according to Rabbeinu Bachya, it is written to demonstrate that a woman who “embodies all the good character traits embodies the entire Torah” (Proverbs: Artscroll 270). Whether composed as a metaphor or not, it is interesting to note that Shlomo HaMelech attributes a great deal of influence to the woman. In fact, earlier in Proverbs, he writes “the wise among women, each builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her hands” (14:1). An example of a wise woman, Rashi says, is the wife of On ben Pelet, who persuaded her husband to cut ties with Korach, thus saving her husband’s life. On the flip side, Rashi continues, a foolish woman is like Korach’s wife, who encouraged his rebellion. One type of woman saves, and the other causes her husband to go astray. If this is the case, and women have such a capacity to bring about success or, G-d forbid, decline to those around them, then we must be on constant guard to act in the ways of the Torah and strive for those qualities outlined in Eishet Chayil. 

The first few qualities we read about are trust, goodness, and industriousness. A righteous woman’s husband trusts in her ability to maintain the home (Proverbs Alshich 31:11) and their finances (Malbim 31:11). She always responds warmly and with goodness to those around her (Proverbs Artscroll 271). Additionally, the accomplished woman is hardworking, contemplates ways to create sustenance, and brings it to fruition. It is easy to see these as hallmarks of a good wife. Having a trusting relationship is crucial in any marriage. When we trust our spouses we know we can depend on them and vice versa. When we trust one another, there is no reason to act negatively. We can approach our spouses with encouraging and soft words. And with trust and goodness, we are motivated, as wives, to work diligently and with zeal. Whether at work or in the home, we utilize our industriousness to contribute a great deal toward our family’s physical and emotional needs. 

Proverbs continues to describe the woman of valor as one who is giving, wise, and kind. Just as the righteous woman opens her hand to give to the needy, so too we can give tzedakah to those who need. This is only part of her good deeds. When she speaks, it is with wisdom and in a constructive, gentle, and sensitive manner. A wise woman perceives the differences between people and knows how to approach each individually. She also teaches and encourages others to practice acts of chesed (Proverbs Artscroll 275). These are all characteristics we can emulate—caring for the needs of others, using our speech in a delicate and dignified manner, and role modeling kindness to those around us. “A woman who fears Hashem, she should be praised,” Shlomo HaMelech writes in the end (Proverbs 31:30). Rashi comments that everything is futile and false (i.e., charm and beauty), except for a G-d fearing woman, who is praised. All the externals come and go, but a woman who is dedicated to the Torah ways, who displays the qualities outlined in Eishet Chayil, will be acknowledged for her actions and deeds. Similarly, Alshich comments that she deserves praise because she chooses to fear Hashem of her own volition. When we do the same, we act accordingly and also deserve recognition.  

With trust and goodness, we are motivated, as wives, to work diligently and with zeal. Whether at work or in the home, we utilize our industriousness to contribute a great deal toward our family’s physical and emotional needs. 

When we internalize and manifest the characteristics of an Eishet Chayil, we become the “wise among women.” Like the wife of On ben Pelet, we understand what’s best for our husbands and children, and the actions we take are dedicated to that effort. By creating a G-d fearing atmosphere at home, we facilitate the success of those around us. With the qualities highlighted in these verses, we not only improve ourselves, but also set the stage for those around us—our husbands, children, and even other people we interact with. Taking notice of our virtues, perhaps they will also follow suit. 

But why the woman? What is important about her that led Shlomo HaMelech to include so many verses in Proverbs about her influence? If we turn to Parshat Yitro, we might get a glimpse of a possible answer. When Moshe goes to Har Sinai, Hashem instructs him to “say to the House of Jacob and tell to the Sons of Israel” (19:3). Rashi says that the House of Jacob refers to the women. Why was Moshe instructed to give the Torah to the women first? According to Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l, it is because the mother is the one who provides the earliest education to her children. She is the one who cares for them from the beginning and can instill in them the love of Torah and mitzvot early on. It is the woman who has the capacity to influence future generations in serving Hashem, and that is why women were given the Torah first (Darash Moshe, Artscroll 122). 

Surely, Shlomo HaMelech understood this when he composed Eishet Chayil and therefore, set out to highlight the importance of a righteous woman. It is because of these women that Torah has perpetuated until today. It’s true a woman of valor is charitable, gentle, honest, industrious, kind, etc. But she is more. She is the inspiration for future generations of Torah observant Jews. By choosing to live a G-d fearing life, filled with Torah and mitzvot, we become role models for our children and those around us, guaranteeing the future of Klal Yisrael.