Rachel: The Power of Silence

“A cry is heard in Ramah— Wailing, bitter weeping— Rachel weeping for her children. She refuses to be comforted For her children, who are gone. Thus said G-d: Restrain your voice from weeping, Your eyes from shedding tears; For there is a reward for your labor —declares the LORD: They shall return from the enemy’s land.” (Yirmiyahu 31:15-16)

Our matriarch Rachel has become known to us as “Mama Rachel” – the mother who cries on behalf of her children. Every year on the anniversary of her death, thousands of Jews go to pray by her burial site, in addition to the countless others who go there all year round. Why has it become so popular – or rather so important – to ask for mercy from G-d in her merit? What is this merit?

The Midrash relates that when G-d was angered by the idol that King Menashe placed in the Holy Temple, many came to plead on behalf of the Jews but G‑d was not reconciled. Rachel then said, “Master of the Universe! Whose mercy is more abundant—Yours, or that of man? Surely, Your mercy is greater. Yet I brought a rival (Leah) into my home, even though all the work that Yaakov did for my father was only for me! And when I came to the wedding canopy, my sister was brought in my place! Not only did I remain silent, but I even gave her my signs… Though Your children have brought a rival into Your home, be silent and do not punish them.” G‑d answered her, “You have defended them well. This is the reward for your efforts and for your righteousness in having given your signs to your sister.”¹

A little background: Yaakov worked many years for the right to marry Rachel, Lavan’s daughter. But on the wedding day, Lavan had Leah secretly take Rachel’s place. Yaakov only became aware of the switch the morning after the wedding. Since Yaakov had suspected this might happen, he gave Rachel signs to prove her identity. These signs were comprised of the three women’s mitzvos: Shabbos Candles, Challah, and Niddah². Rachel, however, did not want her sister to be embarrassed, so she handed the signs over to Leah.

Not a Word

The Gemara tells us: 

In reward for the modesty displayed by Rachel, she was granted to number among her descendants, Shaul; and in reward for the modesty displayed by Shaul, he was granted to number among his descendants Esther. What was the modesty displayed by Rachel? — As it is written: …[Yaakov] said to her, Will you marry me? She replied, Yes, but my father is a trickster, and he will outwit You…I have a sister older than I am, and he will not let me marry before her. So he gave her certain signs. When night came, she said to herself, Now my sister will be put to shame. So she gave the signs to her³.

We could understand if the Gemara would call Rachel “kind” or “generous” or perhaps “merciful” – but why is her act labeled as one of modesty?

Furthermore, Yaakov does in fact later marry Rachel, but she remains barren for many years while Leah gives birth to four sons. But it so happens that Leah’s eldest son, Reuven, decides to bring Leah a plant known as “dudaim” which was known to strengthen fertility. Rachel asks Leah to share the plant and Leah’s response is perplexing:  “Was your taking my husband insignificant? And to take even my son’s dudaim!”⁴ It is hard to understand how Leah could have reacted this way. Did she not remember how Rachel was actually meant to marry Yaakov, yet she selflessly helped her sister by sharing the signs? Where was her gratitude?

Rav Shalom Shwadron answers: from this it is clear that Rachel never explained to Leah what she was doing when she gave her the signs. This was essentially possible, because the signs were merely Jewish Law. Rachel relayed them in a way that Leah simply felt she was being taught the right way to behave as a married woman, but she was completely unaware of the great sacrifice Rachel had made.

Walking with G-d

Rachel was not only kind, she was silent. She did not reveal the true nature or intentions of her behavior. For this she is called “modest.” 

A modest person is able to remain silent – to recognize his strengths, while understanding the small part he plays in the larger picture. He can therefore leave lots of room for others, and for Hashem!

The verse tells us: “The modest have wisdom” (Mishlei 13). Rabbeinu Yonah comments: Modesty causes people to be wise, because they will pay attention to what others have to say instead of revealing what is in their own hearts.” The modest man does not have a need to show off what he knows, what he does, or how great he is. Instead, by keeping quiet, he focuses on what others can teach him, and he is able to soak in their wisdom.

We see from here an amazing idea – the connection between modesty and silence. The louder I am, the more I am in the spotlight, and the less there is any focus on those around me. A modest person is able to remain silent – to recognize his strengths, while understanding the small part he plays in the larger picture. He can therefore leave lots of room for others, and for Hashem!

The Torah tells us, “Walk modestly with your G-d”⁵. When we are modest, we actually leave space for Hashem to be right next to us. When we walk in the ways of Rachel, when we take the modest path of anonymity and silence, and refrain from making ourselves the absolute center of the world, we bring forth her merit and can truly ask Hashem to redeem us on her behalf.

¹ Lamentations Rabbah, 24

² Ohalei Yehudah, end of Parshas Vayeitzei, quoting the Arizal

³ Megillah 13b

⁴ Bereishis 30:15

⁵ Mikha 6:8