Finding Our Way: The Role of Mentors and Models in Jewish Life

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This article explores the concept of role models through the lens of Jewish tradition, examining both the support for emulating righteous individuals and the crucial cautions against excessive admiration and potential idolization.

On the one hand, we can see that having a role model is deeply rooted in Jewish values. The Rambam writes¹:

It is natural for a man’s character and actions to be influenced by his friends and associates and for him to follow the local norms of behavior. Therefore, he should associate with the righteous and be constantly in the company of the wise, so as to learn from their deeds. Conversely, he should keep away from the wicked who walk in darkness, so as not to learn from their deeds. This is [implied by] Solomon’s statement (Mishlei 13:20): “He who walks with the wise will become wise, while one who associates with fools will suffer.”

By choosing to surround ourselves with positive role models, we can learn from their examples and strive to emulate their behavior. These individuals, who are “higher than us” in some way—whether through their great acts of chesed or their dedication to Torah study or working on their middot—inspire us to be more like them. They provide us with a sense of direction, helping us understand who we want to become and perhaps also how we can attain that state. It is essential that we actively seek out such individuals, as neglecting to do so might lead us to unknowingly fall into the company of those whose influence we should avoid.

Jewish tradition also strongly cautions against excessive admiration and the potential for idolizing human figures. The Torah’s repeated prohibitions against idolatry serve as a constant reminder of the dangers of misplaced reverence. Excessive attachment to any human being, even a respected role model, can lead to the slippery slope of idolization. If we perceive someone as perfect or infallible, we cross a dangerous line. The Torah reminds us that such perfection is unattainable by humans. We are all flawed and prone to mistakes. While admiration and respect are natural, we must be vigilant in preventing these feelings from morphing into blind worship.

Beyond the general principle of associating with the righteous, role models serve a crucial function in making abstract Torah teachings more concrete. As human beings, we often learn more from observation than from theoretical knowledge, and role models help us understand how Jewish values are lived out in practice. Reading a biography of a great Jewish figure, for example, brings Torah values to life in a tangible way.

This idea of role models providing examples of righteous behavior is deeply connected to understanding how to emulate God’s attributes. The Gemara (Sota 14a) questions what the verse “After the Lord your God shall you walk” (Devarim 13:5) means. It asks, “Is it actually possible for a person to follow the Divine Presence?” The Gemara then explains:

The meaning is that one should follow the attributes of the Holy One… Just as He clothes the naked… so too should you clothe the naked. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, visits the sick… so too should you visit the sick. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, consoles mourners… so too should you console mourners. Just as the Holy One, Blessed be He, buries the dead… so too should you bury the dead.

This concept of imitating God is central to the Jewish understanding of role models. When we see individuals embodying these divine qualities—whether through acts of chesed, dedication to Torah, or refinement of character—they become tangible examples of how to “walk after God.” By emulating their behavior, we are not only learning from them, but also drawing closer to the Divine.

On the other hand, Jewish tradition also strongly cautions against excessive admiration and the potential for idolizing human figures. The Torah’s repeated prohibitions against idolatry serve as a constant reminder of the dangers of misplaced reverence. Excessive attachment to any human being, even a respected role model, can lead to the slippery slope of idolization. If we perceive someone as perfect or infallible, we cross a dangerous line. The Torah reminds us that such perfection is unattainable by humans. We are all flawed and prone to mistakes. While admiration and respect are natural, we must be vigilant in preventing these feelings from morphing into blind worship.

The saying “Kol adam kozev – all men are false” (Tehillim 116:11) serves as a powerful reminder of this inherent human fallibility, reinforcing the idea that no human being, regardless of their righteousness, should be placed on a pedestal or seen as infallible. Even when the intention is not to deceive, humans are prone to error.

This caution against idolizing human figures, however, does not negate the value of learning from their examples. In addition, in an almost paradoxical way, Rav Hirsch explains (Bereishit 12:10-13) that it is precisely the imperfections of our great figures that make their stories so instructive. He writes as follows:

The Torah does not hide from us the faults, errors, and weaknesses of our great men, and this is precisely what gives its stories credibility. The knowledge given us of their faults and weaknesses does not detract from the stature of our great men; on the contrary, it adds to their stature and makes their stories even more instructive. Had they been portrayed to us as shining models of perfection, flawless and unblemished, we would have assumed that they had been endowed with a higher nature, and not given to us to attain. Had they been portrayed free of passions and inner conflicts, their virtues would have seemed to us as merely the consequence of their loftier nature, not acquired by personal merit, and certainly no mode we could ever hope to emulate.

Rav Hirsch’s perspective invites us to view our great figures not as unattainable ideals, but as human beings who, despite their flaws, worked hard to cultivate virtues that we too can aspire to develop. It is through their struggles, their challenges, and even their failures, that we see the true value of their character. By witnessing their ability to overcome shortcomings, we are encouraged to strive for personal growth, even when faced with our own imperfections.

In this way, Jewish tradition encourages a nuanced approach to role models. We are not to idolize or blindly follow them, but rather learn from their actions, decisions, and resilience. By focusing on their choices, not their perceived perfection, we can find practical lessons for our own lives, using their examples as inspiration to cultivate our character and strive for a life reflecting the highest spiritual values.

We are encouraged to surround ourselves with positive influences and learn from their ways but to always recognize that, like ourselves, even the greatest role models are ultimately human. We strive to emulate the positive qualities of our role models while recognizing that no one is perfect.