Unveiling the Mystery of the Sotah

The Sotah is the classic Torah source for the mitzvah of hair covering. It has sparked debate and complexity around the mitzvah ever since, and as a result, a plethora of reasons for why married women must cover their hair has been offered from innumerable people. Every addition is holy and should be respected, for everyone is doing their part to know Hashem more intimately. However, the purpose of this article is to narrow the scope. Perhaps exploring the motivation and mindset of a Sotah can offer a deeper insight into not just why married women cover their hair, but what is at stake when it is uncovered. 

The ritual of the Sotah can be found in Sefer Bamidbar¹. In summary, the Sotah is a married woman who received an explicit request from her husband to not seclude herself with a particular man, and this warning was issued in front of two witnesses². Despite this warning, the wife secluded herself with the aforementioned prohibited man for a timeframe in which it would be sufficient to be intimate with one another, and there are one or two witnesses³ who saw the seclusion as well. 

From here, the ritual of the Sotah must be performed in order to determine the wife’s innocence or guilt. The ritual has two primary parts; first, the Kohen Gadol “shall bare the woman’s head”⁴, and then she will drink bitter waters (infused with a piece of paper that had the Name of Hashem written on it). It is only the act of drinking the water that determines her guilt or innocence. 

If she is found guilty, then both she and her illicit partner will die immediately in a divinely-administered punishment⁵. If she is innocent, then she and her husband will receive unparalleled bracha for having many healthy children⁶. It is imperative to note that no point of this is as straightforward as it sounds. It is difficult to actually become a Sotah (as there are many qualifications that the couple must meet) and a husband who suspects his wife of adultery has grounds for divorce (and before the cherem of Rabbeinu Gershom⁷, he was able to do so even against her will). He therefore doesn’t need to endure the embarrassing proceedings, either. It would seem that if a couple is undergoing the proceedings of the Sotah, it is a mutual decision and they are both confident in the wife’s innocence – they are willing to undergo the Sotah rite in order to receive the bracha.

So why is it that the woman needs to undergo a degrading experience before her judgment is made? And why would her husband not just divorce her if he truly thought she was adulterous? Here is one, though not the only, suggestion: to receive the bracha.

From the above, an obvious question arises: what has this got to do with hair? The revelation of the wife’s hair seems almost superfluous, as it does not shed light on her guilt or innocence. What’s more, this is done before her judgment is determined. It seems, on the surface, an unnecessary punishment and embarrassment. The truth is, however, that both the punishment and embarrassment is, unfortunately, necessary. We may not find an explicit commandment in the Torah for a married woman to cover her hair, but the fact that its uncovering is so shaming is a clear indication that it is supposed and expected to be covered.⁸ 

So why is it that the woman needs to undergo a degrading experience before her judgment is made? And why would her husband not just divorce her if he truly thought she was adulterous? Here is one, though not the only, suggestion: to receive the bracha. In practice, a woman would need to willingly put herself in a doubtful situation, in front of two witnesses, where she would degrade herself in a desperate attempt to ‘game the system’ to receive a bracha for childbirth. Such a woman is not totally innocent – she is simply not guilty of adultery.

Another consideration: how good could this bracha be? Answering that might illuminate as to why a couple would willingly undergo this ritual. The Ibn Ezra⁹ writes that the bracha of the Sotah is commensurate with the shame she had to undergo. Rashi¹⁰ elaborates that the bracha of “she shall be unharmed and able to bear seed”¹¹ really entails that any difficulties with fertility, pregnancy, or childbirth will disappear. Contrasting these two commentaries, it is apparent that both the disgrace of the accusation and the reward for its dismissal are extreme. 

To better understand the mindset behind a woman who puts herself through this, let’s look at one of the examples of a woman in Tanakh who – almost – was a Sotah. 

In Sefer Shmuel I, we learn the story of Chana, a righteous woman who had been married for ten years with no children¹². As per the halacha at the time¹³, her husband took a second wife in order to have children, and Chana actually welcomed this idea as she hoped that by bringing a ‘rival’ into her home, Hashem would respond to her altruism by giving her a child¹⁴. However, this didn’t happen. Chana remained childless, and Penina (the second wife) “vexed her”¹⁵ by taunting Chana over the fact that she was barren¹⁶. 

Understandably, Chana grew despondent. It is important to note that Chana was no ordinary woman. She was not even an ordinary tzadika. The Gemara hails Chana as one of the seven prophetesses of Israel¹⁷. Ironically, it was this despondency that led her to this level, as Chana’s prophecy was in the form of a silent, poetic plea to Hashem to give her the son she so desperately longed for. 

We learn many lessons from Chana’s story, but not all of them are things we should emulate. Chana says to Hashem, “If You will see the affliction of Your handmaid…”¹⁸, and the Gemara¹⁹ elaborates that what Chana is really saying is that if Hashem does not heed Chana’s prayer, that she will seclude herself with another man, but not do anything with him, and force herself and her husband into a Sotah ritual where she will drink the waters, be cleared of guilt, and receive the bracha to have children. What’s more, the Gemara points out that Chana’s plan will work, because she is testing Hashem to ‘prove’ that He upholds the promises made in His Torah. Remember, this is one of the seven women in Israel who merited prophecy from Hashem! 

Surely, we cannot say that Chana is not righteous – it would simply contradict everything that we are taught about her. In reality, she was desperate. She was so desperate that she was prepared to undergo the Kohen Gadol uncovering her head, exposing her, for absolutely no reason. She knew she would be found innocent, so would her husband have known. 

Her head covering was the primary mark of her status as a married woman, and she was willing to have it taken from her, in front of men of great esteem, in front of her own husband, in order to receive a bracha for children. 

We know that Chana eventually did bear her long-awaited son, and he was Shmuel HaNavi, one of the greatest prophets in Israel²⁰, and the prophet who recorded his mother’s story. He too, felt the desperation of Chana and what she was prepared to give up in order to have him. Hashem didn’t allow Chana to execute her Sotah plan – He couldn’t put her through that. 

We don’t know why the mitzvah of hair covering needed to come through the episode of the Sotah, but we do know from the only practical example of a Sotah from all of Tanakh that Hashem chose to give in to a threat rather than to allow a holy woman to undergo the humiliation of revealing her hair. 

A true Sotah is a woman who has intentionally degraded herself and undermined the gravity of marriage. Such a person, understandably, needs to be held accountable for their actions. Though the journey of the Sotah begins long before her appearance before the Beit Din. It begins with a desire, for good or for bad, that teaches us the importance of dignity as well as how even our best intentions need to be confined within the parameters set out by Hashem. 

1. Bamidbar 5:11-31 ↩︎
2. Sotah 2a ↩︎
3. The number of witnesses for the seclusion itself is a machloket in the Gemara (Sotah 2a) ↩︎
4. Bamidbar 5:18 ↩︎
5. Bamidbar 5:27 ↩︎
6. Sifri Bamidbar 19 ↩︎
7. Rema, Even HaEzer 115:4 ↩︎
8. Ketubot 72a ↩︎
9. Ibn Ezra on Bamidbar 5:28 ↩︎
10. Rashi on Bamidbar 5:28 ↩︎
11. Bamidbar 5:28 ↩︎
12. Shmuel I 1:2 ↩︎
13. Yevamot 64a ↩︎
14. Pesikta Rabbati 43:6 ↩︎
15. Shmuel I 1:6 ↩︎
16. Pesikta Rabbati 43 ↩︎
17. Megillah 14a ↩︎
18. Shmuel I 1:11 ↩︎
19. Berachot 31b  ↩︎
20. Nedarim 38a ↩︎