Contrasting Women and the Sefira of Hod

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A single splendid rose sits on a table in its glass vase, alive with color and brilliance. Something about it is majestical, magnetic. Its beauty, however, is so temporary that we can already sense its decline. What are we to make of the existence of this rose, and along with it, the overwhelming amount of beauty in this world which fades right before our eyes?

This physicality is intrinsically connected to the sefirah or middah known as “hod.” While the world “hod” itself is difficult to translate simply into English, its meaning encompasses aspects of all the following: glory, majesty, splendor, grace, magnificence.

In the order of the sefirot, hod comes directly after netzach — the concept of eternity, victory, the everlasting imprint that goes far beyond the present moment. In contrast, hod is a middah which is focused primarily on the momentary existence of something physical by nature. It is a shining light that will eventually fade, a beautiful face that will grow old, a tall stature that ultimately will become frail and weak.

Unfortunately, we are swept away by these physical attributes — so much so that we devote our lives to the rat race of achieving more and more of them: wealth, honor, aesthetics, cuisine. We shove others aside in the pursuit, and life becomes no more than a competition to gain… what exactly at the end of the day?

The Alexander Rebbe¹ explains that we can look deeper into the hod we encounter and recognize it as a manifestation of Hashem. All the beauty and glory is His. “Hod v’hadar lifanav”². In doing so, we see beyond the deception and actually find Hashem. Physicality and beauty then are no longer a reason for jealousy, competition and disconnect; they become a unifying force that connects us all back to our source and our united future.

It is for this very reason, explains the Yismach Yisrael, that Lag Ba’omer, the day when the students of Rebbe Akiva stopped dying, was the day of “Hod she’b’hod”. Their mistaken view of one another (of course on a level far above what we can understand) caused separation; on this day of sefira, the clarity that comes with a complete understanding of hod is accessed — the truth that each and every person’s glory is a manifestation of what Hashem has given him.

The very fact that Hod is a sefirah unto itself teaches us otherwise. A well-decorated home can foster a warm family environment of growth, a delicious meal can be made to enhance Shabbat, and the skill of designing the perfect outfit will be a welcome addition to beauty a simcha. It’s all about how you use it — as a means and not an end.

Looks can truly be deceiving, and while we know not to judge a book by its cover, we so often fall into the outer trapping of this world and make decisions based on the external appearance and temporary pleasures that seduce us. Hod, however, strategically comes directly after netzach to teach us the valuable lesson that all of the externals and facades are not essentially useless. They must be harnessed.

On a backdrop of eternal goals and values, we can take what appears to be superficial and make it supernatural. The here-and-now have tremendous worth — when they are utilized for a greater purpose.

As women, we have a role that incorporates physicality into just about everything we do. The aesthetics of a home or party decor; the strategic planning of the perfect menu and then the immaculate presentation of the meal; the outfit which combines class, style, taste, and that perfect accessory to top it off. Perhaps we may think we are doomed to a hedonistic life drowning in obsession with possessions, or we might as well dump it all and become ascetics?

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I once heard from Mr. Charlie Harari that his personal success was founded upon the maxim of “Think far, act near.” You want to get somewhere next year? In ten years? It all starts today. Now!

It was Rebbe Akiva himself — who had lost all his students and was willing to start from scratch with just five — who taught us this lesson. One day, as he was passing a spring that dropped into a rock, he understood a lesson that lay beneath the surface: each drop, day after day after day, cuts through the tough stone and makes a hole that no single rush of water could ever have achieved.

Yes, moments are by definition fleeting. But they can also be eternal! Perhaps as women, we sometimes feel our days are made of disparate parts. A phone call, a morning run, a stop at the supermarket, a doctor’s appointment, an interaction with a family member… If every moment is utilized to make one choice after another, after another — with an ultimate goal in mind — those drops in the bucket add up. The seemingly miniscule and disconnected parts create an invaluable whole. Whether it be a kind word, a pleasant smile, a hearty breakfast, an inspiring encounter…when done with purpose and persistence, they will make an indelible imprint.

It is the optimistic eye that looks upon this moment, this second, this act — that gives hod eternal significance.