Kimchis, Tzniut and Kohanim

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I close the door to their room softly, breathe a huge sigh of relief and look around at my living space which resembles a toy tornado.

2-year-old twins are not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure. And it’s not just the toys, sticky floors and the smashed bottle of grape juice that they somehow managed to lug out of the fridge and is now lying in a sad pool of shards and purple juice.

I’ll clean it all up. Later. Now I fix myself (another) cuppa and inhale the steam, smell and silence.

After a few minutes of caffeinated heaven, I tiptoe into their bedroom to check on their breathing. (Honestly, it’s just an excuse to look at them when they’re prone, and not wrecking something or other.)

My breath catches in my throat. They’re just so beautiful. Eyelashes brushing their velvety cheeks. Little toes peeking from under their duvets. Mouths puckering in their sleep.

As I gaze at my two little miracles, I’m once again overwhelmed by the awesome responsibility of the job I was entrusted with. They’re just 2 now, but I know that before I turn around, they’ll be strapping young men, towering over me.

I close my eyes. I want them to be kind, and good. I want them to have beautiful, successful lives. I want them to serve Hashem with a fiery passion.

What am I doing about it though? My once-a-week fervent prayers when I light candles cannot be enough. What’s the secret recipe to raising God-fearing children who will illuminate the lives of others?

The Story of Kimchis

Kimchis merited to have seven sons Kohanim Gedolim. The Kohen Gadol epitomised the pinnacle of holiness, of completion in both his service to Hashem and refinement of his middot.

The Kohen Gadol was the single member of Klal Yisrael who went into the Kodesh Hakedoshim on Yom Kippur.

Can you imagine the level the Kohen Gadol had to be on to be in the most sacred spot on earth on the most sacred day of the year? In essence, it was complete Yichud with Hashem.

Which mother did not want her son to be the Kohen Gadol? What kohen did not want to be selected for that position? Very few people merited to be the Kohen Gadol. How is it that Kimchis’ seven sons were worthy enough?

When Kimchis was asked why she merited this, she replied “I only try to be humble and modest both to God and man.”¹

Can you imagine the level the Kohen Gadol had to be on to be in the most sacred spot on earth on the most sacred day of the year? In essence, it was complete Yichud with Hashem.

When further prompted, she said that she dressed with great modesty even in the private quarters of her house where nobody saw her².

Is that all? Meticulous tzniut in both public and private? Will the covering of my elbows, knees and hair ensure sons who are Tzaddikim? If modesty is just a matter of necklines and hemlines, the reward seems disproportionate. The Kohen Gadol stood at the pinnacle of holiness; he was the spiritual representative of the entire nation. We could understand if she merited to have children who were modest like their mother, but why the Kehunah?

The answer lies in the word tzniut. Tzniut is so much more than a modestly covered body. (Though much reward is to be garnered from that alone too.)

The prophet Malachi declared that all of Judaism could be compressed into three basic precepts: doing justice, loving kindness and walking modestly with Hashem³.

The commentaries that explain this statement do not write anything about covering up the physical body. Rather, the examples given to illustrate the prophet’s words are—bringing the bride to the wedding canopy and burying the dead. Those who perform such good deeds, even though they are normally done in public, should do so modestly, without attracting attention to themselves⁴.

If that is the case, tzniut is much more than the measurement of inches and refraining from excess makeup, tzniut is internal modesty⁵.

Sounds simple? Internal modesty is the answer to children who light up the world? Yes, it is. But self-restraint – internal modesty takes work. A lifetime of work.

Queen Esther is praised for keeping the secret of her Jewish identity until the right time came to divulge it. And her tzniut—perhaps better translated in this case as self-restraint -was instrumental in saving the Jewish people from destruction⁶.

The Orchot Tzaddikim writes that ‘one should accustom himself to be silent in the synagogue, for this is tznius, modesty.”⁷ The deeper understanding of this statement is that one should be silent in public spaces about his accomplishments. Indeed, we don’t know the name of the Orchot Tzaddikim, because he chose to publish his work anonymously. Through anonymous authorship, his goal was not fame or honor for himself, but to share his wisdom with others. His own self-effacing attitude is the epitome of modesty.

This, then, is the Jewish concept of Tzniut. Modest attire is but one manifestation of it. For modesty is not just a code of dress; it’s a mode of being. Tzniut entails the subjugation of the drives and attractions of the self to the performance of mitzvot. What is important is that the mitzvah should be done, not that I was the one to do it; that the book should be published, not that I am the author. The role of the dress code is that it serves as a way of de-emphasizing the physical self.

To return to the original question of why Kimchis merited to have seven sons Kohanim Gedolim: The most important function of the Kohen Gadol was the service he conducted in the Beit Hamikdash on Yom Kippur. An entire tractate of the Talmud (Yoma) is devoted to it, and a major section of our own Yom Kippur service revolves around it. For one entire day he was the absolute center of attention. All the people came to watch the Kohen Gadol on that day. The world stood still as he entered the Kodesh Hakedoshim, uttered the ineffable name of Hashem, and begged forgiveness for His people⁸.

If his awesome duties were in any way tainted by feelings of pride, everything would be lost. The most public acts of the Kohen Gadol called for the most modest personality; to be thinking only of Hashem and Klal Yisrael, and not of himself – and as the whole world watched him. To be, in other words, the center of attention without being self-centered. Such modesty, such self-control, such internal refinement, could only be imparted to her sons by a woman who herself possessed those qualities – only a model of modesty such as Kimchis.