Chayei Sarah: Contrasting the Greatness of Sarah and Rivka

The parsha which records Sara Imeinu’s passing is the parsha which is called ‘Chayei Sara,’ the life of Sara. Something about Sara’s life and legacy can be felt even – and especially – at the time of her death. Immediately after the Torah records Sara’s burial, it transitions into Yitzchak’s shidduch with the righteous Rivka; the second of the imahot. Implied in this smooth textual transition is the way that Rivka embodied the traits which Sara held dear. Indeed, in Rivka, Yitzchak found comfort from the passing of his mother because he found a wife whose purity, goodness and holiness made his home a resting place for the Shechina, just like Sara’s was. This article will explore the greatness of Rivka as seen in the parsha, in some ways mirroring and in other ways contrasting the life of Sara Imeinu.

The end of the parsha records that Yitzchak brought Rivka into his mother’s tent. There, he loved her and felt comforted by her. Rashi tells us that these feelings were brought about by the miraculous return of three phenomena which existed at the time of Sara. The Shechina of Hashem, which removed itself at Sara’s passing, came back to dwell over the tent of Yitzchak and Rivka. The candles which remained alight from Shabbat to Shabbat reignited once more. And the ever-plentiful dough was restored. These three miracles were more than random reversals of nature, they each represented the perfect observance of the 3 women’s mitzvot: family purity, lighting candles and separation of the dough. Sara and Rivka, together with Rachel and Leah all personified who a Jewish woman can be at her finest and purest through mastering the traits which lie at the heart of the 3 primary mitzvot.

Rav Pincus writes in his sefer on the avoda of the Jewish woman, Nefesh Chaya, that Sara and Rivka represent the eternal role of the Jewish mother: a spiritual protector. Sara and Rivka intuited the nature of their children and used their wisdom to separate and filter the spiritually harmful influences, a job ever relevant in today’s world.

The similarity between Rivka and Sara can also be seen in the spiritual safeguarding of their homes. Sara was the one who picked up on the harmful influences of Yishmael and encouraged Avraham to banish him from their home. She nurtured Yitzchak and ensured that nothing in his environment could impurify him or hold him back spiritually. In a similar vein, we see Rivka protecting Yaakov from Eisav. It seems from the pesukim that Yitzchak did not pick up on Eisav’s wickedness since the verse says that Yitzchak loved Eisav, and Rivka loved Yaakov. While Eisav put on an act of being so righteous and did in fact excel in honoring his father, Rivka saw through the farce. She was distressed by his hunting, his sins and his marriage to idolatrous women. It was Rivka who arranged, secretly, for Yaakov to receive the firstborn blessings and sent him away from Eisav who wanted to kill him. Rav Pincus writes in his sefer on the avoda of the Jewish woman, Nefesh Chaya, that Sara and Rivka represent the eternal role of the Jewish mother: a spiritual protector. Sara and Rivka intuited the nature of their children and used their wisdom to separate and filter the spiritually harmful influences, a job ever relevant in today’s world.

Additionally, we see a strong parallel between the tzniut of Sara and that of Rivka. While the word tzniut to some is indicative of a dress code, at its core, it refers to the trait of internality. A tzniut woman is a woman who sees the penimiyut (inner content) of a matter and lives her life drawn to the internalities– rather than externalities. We know that Avraham and Sara were a couple who were focused on internality. On the way down to Egypt, a land infamous for its corruption and indecency, Avraham turns to Sara and says “Now I know that you are beautiful.” One interpretation of this is that Avraham is expressing the relevance of Sara’s beauty – now the time has come when your beauty will be a challenge, since the Egyptians would see Sara and desire her, killing Avraham to acquire her. However, another explanation is that Avraham and Sara were so focused on tzniut, on penimiyut, on inner beauty – that Avraham genuinely only perceived his wife’s great physical beauty at that moment. 

Yitzchak and Rivka too built a home of true tzniut, focused on internals. We see this in Rivka’s agreement to go with Eliezer straight away to marry Yitzchak. The Rashbam¹ explains that in those days it was customary for a woman to have a 12-month period in between the engagement and the marriage. This would be the time for a woman to adorn herself with finery and jewelry, and prepare physically for marriage. For Rivka, this period of time was completely irrelevant. So focused on spirituality, Rivka saw no need to spend time obtaining jewels to beautify herself. This defined her marriage to Yitzchak, a partnership based solely on spiritual values and not on materialistic ones. 

However, in some ways, Rivka emulated the ways of Avraham more than that of Sara. While Sara was extremely giving, it was Avraham who possessed chessed as his dominant trait. This is what led him to want to keep Yishmael in his home, his boundless outpour of chessed. Sara was more aligned with Yitzchak in middot in that they both excelled in gevura: discipline or strength. In the Midrash on Eishet Chayil, the verse which corresponds to Rivka is גמלתהו טוב ולא רע which means “she bestows good and not evil.”² Rivka’s essence was a constant flow of chessed, following in the footsteps of Yitzchak’s father, Avraham. In fact, the test to “pass” Rivka as a shidduch for Yitzchak was her chessed. Incredibly, the Hebrew root for bestowing good is “gamal” which is the same as the word for camel. Rivka’s exceptional gemilut chassadim, her kindness, was indeed demonstrated beyond a doubt with the way in which she gave Eliezer, and each of his 10 camels, to drink. With this incredibly demanding chessed, Rivka indeed showed that she was worthy of joining the dynasty of Avraham Avinu.

Another way in which Rivka echoed the actions of Avraham is in her zerizut; her alacrity. Not only did Rivka fill up enough water at the well for a stranger’s 10 camels, but she rushed to do so. This emulates the way in which Avraham did chessed, when, following the uncomfortably hot day after his brit mila, Avraham ran to greet the three angels who passed by his tent, in order to invite them in. The speed with which Avraham and Rivka performed their chessed demonstrates their great love for kindness, a trademark quality for the future mothers and fathers of the Jewish people.

When Eliezer realized that Rivka is the one destined for Yitzchak, he hands her two gifts: a golden nose ring and two bracelets. The verse tells us that the bracelets were “al yadeha,” “on her hands.” The Ohr Hachaim explains that the Torah is not telling us that bracelets are made for the hand. The Torah is telling us that the bracelets were made to fit one wrist: the holy hand of Rivka Imeinu. It was clear to all when Rivka wore the bracelets that they, like her mission as one of the four primary Jewish matriarchs, were perfectly fitting for her. The jewellery symbolised Rivka’s entrance into this honorable role. The nose ring, weighing half a shekel, represented the half shekels donated as part of the avoda of the Jewish people while the two bracelets symbolised the two tablets of Torah law. With these gifts in hand, Rivka entered into the covenant of upholding Torah, avoda and gemilut chassadim on behalf of the entire Jewish people. 

Some ideas inspired by Miss Pamela Simonsson

¹ Rashbam 24:58

² Midrash Eishet Chayil (mishlei 31)