Yaakov, Rachel, and Yosef: Withstanding the Test of Being Alone

“Without anyone or anything else; without people that you know or are usually with.” These are two definitions you can find in the Merriam-Webster dictionary for the word Alone. We’ve all been there — that feeling of uncertainty or discomfort of being isolated or alone in a crowd of people we don’t know. Do we rise to the occasion or shrink into the corner? Does the challenge of being lonely make us stronger or instill a sense of fear? Interestingly enough, we can look to and learn from one family in Tanach and see how they dealt with and overcame the distress of being alone.

In Parshat Vayishlach, when Yaakov is traveling with his family he crosses over a river and the verse says he “was left alone”¹. This is the well-known passage where we see Yaakov wrestling with an angel. So intense a battle, the verse continues that Yaakov struggles with the angel until the break of dawn. Rashi states that the rabbis explained that the angel was Esav’s angel. Eventually, Yaakov conquers the angel, and we see later on, Yaakov’s name is changed to Yisrael. 

What does this all mean? Imagine two polar opposites being alone in the same small space together. Yaakov and Esav. Twins. And yet, the ultimate good versus evil. Can Yaakov rise above his brother and what he stands for? He does, but with such a struggle that it “raise[d] dust,” according to Rashi. Yaakov suffers a series of ups and downs with Esav throughout history, but in the end Yaakov triumphs². Similarly, Radak (Vayishlach 32:25) says that the mention of daybreak is an allusion that after the dark (i.e., a period of problems and struggles), there will be light and relief. Not only in his lifetime, but for us, Yaakov’s descendents, this holds true. There will be times when we feel alone and are faced with great adversity. But instead of buckling to destructive forces, we can fight to stay on top, just like our forefather. And although it might be challenging and we feel like we’re in the dark, in the end, light and relief will come. 

Fast forward a couple chapters and Rachel Imeinu dies and is buried alone. She’s not buried with the rest of the forefathers and foremothers in Maarat HaMachpela. Rachel is buried on “the road to Ephrat, which is Beit Lechem” (Vayishlach 35:19). Yaakov’s beloved wife, Rachel. With so many struggles—a father like Lavan who tricked Yaakov into marrying Leah first, her inability to have children initially, dying while giving birth to the final shevet, Binyamin. Why? Why does Rachel have to be buried by herself and in the middle of nowhere? Yaakov answers this in Parshat Vayechi when he explains to Yosef why he buried Rachel there. “I buried her there so that she should be a help to her children when Nebuzaradan would exile them. And they will pass by the way; Rachel would go out onto her grave and weep and seek mercy for them”³. A moving Midrash Rabbah is told in the introduction of Eichah, whereby the First Beit Hamikdash is destroyed and Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov, and Moshe plead with Hashem to redeem the Jewish people and rebuild the Beit Hamikdash, to no avail. But then Rachel Imeinu comes along and speaks of her life challenges—of Yaakov having to work seven years for her; when she learned of Lavan’s trickery and how he was going to marry off Leah to Yaakov instead, she gave her sister the special signs she and Yaakov had, so that Leah wouldn’t be embarrassed. Rachel continues to plead that she, a human, was not jealous of her sister, and that Hashem shouldn’t be jealous of Bnei Yisrael’s idol worship that destroyed the Beit Hamikdash. 

Hashem responds that for her sake, He will indeed rebuild the Temple and return the Jewish people to their land. In the quintessential embodiment of loneliness—death and buried alone—Rachel achieves what no other tzaddik can. She, through her life struggles and experience with loneliness, understands the plight of the Jewish people and is able to save them with her appeal. If anything, this episode teaches us to champion those who are lonely and that no matter how isolated we feel, we can utilize our experiences, whether good or bad, to help those around us.

While we always strive to be in places steeped in Torah and mitzvot, if we inadvertently find ourselves in a place that is lacking, we can aim to be like Yosef who maintained his holiness and connection to Hashem

Finally, Rachel and Yaakov’s son, Yosef. After being thrown in a pit, sold into slavery, and locked up in prison, Yosef knows a thing or two about loneliness. But his greatest challenge comes from his being disconnected from everyone and everything he knows. Once he becomes viceroy in Egypt, Yosef is no longer by himself. He’s surrounded by plenty of Egyptians. And that’s the problem. Can Yosef maintain his Jewishness in such a society and masquerading as an Egyptian himself? We see a hint at the answer in Parshat Vayigash. “He saw the wagons that Yosef sent to transport him, then the spirit of their father, Yaakov, was revived”. Kli Yakar explains this to mean that Yosef escorted the wagons and this is why Yaakov’s spirit was revived⁴. Because he realized that the only reason Yosef would escort the wagons would be because it’s a mitzvah and good behavior. Yaakov is elated that after twenty-two years in Egypt, Yosef still acts as a good Jew and fulfills the mitzvah of escorting someone. While not lonely per se, Yosef is alone as a Jew in a non-Jewish environment. Surrounded by challenges and temptations, he becomes Yosef Hatzadik. He remembers the teachings of his father and passes them along to his children. 

While we always strive to be in places steeped in Torah and mitzvot, if we inadvertently find ourselves in a place that is lacking, we can aim to be like Yosef who maintained his holiness and connection to Hashem. We must do our best to keep ourselves from being influenced by external negative forces and remind ourselves that we must continue to observe Torah and mitzvot, like our ancestors. It’s such a great merit to live as a Torah Jew, even when we’re the only one.

Yaakov, Rachel, and Yosef—members of the same family who each exemplified the  strength to overcome moments of feeling alone. Whether through a physical or emotional struggle, utilizing experiences to help others, or rising above environmental influences, these tzaddikim mastered the test of isolation. We have the capacity to do the same. The next time we feel alone, let us look toward these righteous individuals and choose how we can best overcome our challenges in a way that brings sanctity to Hashem’s Name.   

¹ 32:25

² Sforno Vayishlach 32:25

³  Rashi 48:7

⁴ Vayigash 45:27