The Courage to Learn: Conquering Fear and Self-Doubt

Have you ever hesitated to ask a question in a class or a shiur for fear of sounding foolish? Many of us have experienced moments of timidity in the face of learning, but as Pirkei Avot (2:5) reminds us, ‘לֹא הַבַּיְשָׁן לָמֵד – a timid person [or a person prone to being ashamed] cannot learn.’

In this article, we will explore the various ways in which timidity can act as a barrier to learning, examining how fear, self-doubt, and reluctance to engage can stifle our intellectual development.

The Unasked Question: A Missed Opportunity for Growth

The Bartenura’s commentary on this Mishna offers a crucial insight into why a timid person cannot learn: “A person prone to being ashamed cannot learn,” he explains, “since one who is embarrassed to ask, lest they will make fun of him, will always remain with his questions.” Learning is not a passive reception of information; it is an active pursuit of understanding. Learning requires not only intellect but also a certain boldness – the courage to challenge assumptions, engage with new ideas, grapple with challenging concepts, and, crucially, to ask questions. Questions are not a sign of ignorance; they are the very springboard of intellectual growth. 

However, timidity can form a barrier to questioning. Plagued by self-doubt, timidity causes us to worry about others’ opinions, and this can cause us to choose the perceived safety of silence over the vulnerability of asking. As a result, our learning stalls, our questions go unanswered, and our understanding remains incomplete. Rav Hirsch echoes this idea when he writes, “One who is too timid to ask questions for fear of betraying his ignorance to his fellow students and would rather go without instruction will never acquire knowledge.”

Overcoming Shame in Learning

Rabbeinu Yonah offers another perspective on this Mishna: while shame is generally considered a virtue, it becomes a significant impediment to learning. He acknowledges the positive role of shame in discouraging wrongdoing, implying its importance in maintaining moral boundaries. However, he explains that there is an exception for the realm of learning, arguing that in this context, shame is not only unhelpful but actively counterproductive.

He illustrates this point with the powerful example of King David. Even when David found himself in a vulnerable position, fleeing from King Shaul and standing before foreign kings who might have mocked him, he did not allow shame to prevent him from speaking words of Torah. This demonstrates that a person should never let the fear of embarrassment, even in potentially humiliating circumstances, hinder their engagement with Torah study. 

However, timidity can form a barrier to questioning. Plagued by self-doubt, timidity causes us to worry about others’ opinions, and this can cause us to choose the perceived safety of silence over the vulnerability of asking. As a result, our learning stalls, our questions go unanswered, and our understanding remains incomplete. Rav Hirsch echoes this idea when he writes, “One who is too timid to ask questions for fear of betraying his ignorance to his fellow students and would rather go without instruction will never acquire knowledge.”

King David’s example demonstrates the courage required for true learning. Even in vulnerable and potentially humiliating situations, he was unashamed to speak words of Torah. This illustrates that genuine learning demands bravery—the willingness to put ourselves out there, ask the ‘stupid’ questions, and maybe even risk criticism or ridicule. Overcoming the fear of vulnerability is essential for intellectual growth. 

The Price of Perceived Inadequacy

Imposter syndrome is a modern version of the same kind of timidity that can hold us back in learning, driven by a fear of judgment. It’s a psychological pattern where, even when there’s clear evidence of our abilities, we doubt ourselves, feel like frauds, and worry about being “found out.” People dealing with imposter syndrome often feel inadequate or unworthy, even in areas where they are actually skilled. Much like the timidity described in Pirkei Avot, these feelings can cause them to avoid situations where they might be judged—like asking questions, seeking feedback, or sharing their thoughts. They might mistakenly believe others see them as unqualified or incapable, even when that’s not true.

The core link between imposter syndrome and the teaching in Pirkei Avot is the shared fear of negative judgment, which holds back both learning and growth. Whether it’s the fear of feeling ashamed of what we don’t know (as in Pirkei Avot) or the worry of being exposed as a fraud (as in imposter syndrome), this fear keeps people from fully engaging in the learning process. In both cases, the focus shifts from actual learning and growth to avoiding embarrassment, blocking potential in the process.

Practical Solutions for Becoming a More Confident Questioner

So what can we do to both overcome imposter syndrome and boost our confidence when asking questions? Here are some practical suggestions:

1. Reframe Questions Positively: Instead of worrying that your question might sound “stupid,” try phrasing it in a more open and constructive way when asking someone else. For example, instead of saying, “Is this a dumb question?” you could say, “I’m trying to understand this better—could you explain?” This small change makes the question feel more thoughtful and reduces self-doubt.
2. Recognize That No One Knows Everything: Even the greatest talmidei chachamim are always learning. In fact, the word “talmid chacham” itself means a “wise student”, which indicates that he or she is constantly learning, and never sits on their laurels.  Realizing that learning is a lifelong process can help alleviate the pressure to “know it all” and reduce feelings of inadequacy. In fact, when it comes to Torah learning, the more you study, the more you realize how much there is still to learn. Not knowing isn’t a weakness—it’s a natural and essential part of the learning process.
3. Create a Supportive Learning Environment: If you’re a teacher or mentor, you play a big role in making sure students feel comfortable asking questions. You can do this by keeping things respectful, showing that everyone’s input matters, encouraging curiosity, and ensuring that mistakes aren’t stigmatized. When students know they won’t be judged, they’ll be more open to learning and growing.

In conclusion, learning is not a passive activity. While we can gain knowledge by listening to shiurim, that alone is not enough. True learning requires active engagement—asking questions, seeking clarity, and having the courage to make mistakes and grow from them. It demands that we shed the cloak of timidity and embrace the vulnerability of intellectual exploration.