Hagar: The Consequences of False Judgements

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had not borne to him, and she had an Egyptian handmaid named Hagar.¹” Rashi explains that Hagar is Pharaoh’s daughter, that he sent her with Avraham after the whole wife/sister fiasco because he saw the miracles that happened to Avraham and Sarai and said: “It is better that my daughter be a handmaid in this household, than a mistress in another household.”²

But even if Pharaoh said she should be a maid in Avraham’s household, how could it be that she merited to be the one to bear Avraham’s children?

This is the first time the Torah mentions this practice. While it may seem strange to people today, it was actually very common in the ancient world. In addition to the practice being common, Rav Avigdor explains that Hagar became Sarai’s main pupil. And in the process she became a righteous follower of Sarai and woman in her own right as well. After Sarai would give over a shiur, Hagar would break it down and help the other women understand. In this way Hagar and Sarai became very close. Therefore, it is not surprising that Sarai entrusted Hagar with bringing Avraham children.³ 

“And he came to Hagar, and she conceived, and she saw that she was pregnant, and her mistress became unimportant in her eyes.”⁴ Rebbetzin Pavlov explains that the word “saw” in this context means that Hagar made a judgement⁵. Rashi explains that Hagar conceived after the first union with Avraham and therefore she judged Sarai as less righteous than herself because why else would she have merited to conceive and not Sarai?⁶ 

Rebbetzin Pavlov elaborates on the way the Torah uses the word to “see” to mean “judge” and explains it appears also when Sarah “saw” that Yishmael was bothering Yitzchak. At that time she judged that it was not good and therefore Hagar and Yishmael had to be sent away. The difference between the two type of judgement is simple. Hagar judged by reading into a situation and drawing conclusions when there was nothing to read into in the first place, she made judgments off of her own assumptions. Sarah judged the reality of the situation before her in relation to the way in which she wanted her household to run. Hagar’s judgement put herself above her missteps while Sarah’s judgement put her son’s wellbeing over that of another woman’s child. Hagar judged in a way that was not of reality, egotistical, presumptuous and as if she knew God’s plan. However, Sarah judged the reality before her humbly, analytically and to serve Hashem whatever His plan may be⁷.  

The Midrash compares the pregnancies of Hagar and Sarah to a field: “Rabbi Ḥanina ben Pazi said: Thornbushes are neither weeded nor sown, yet they emerge on their own, grow tall, and rise up; as for wheat, [however,] how much travail and how much toil [must one undertake] until they grow⁸. Thornbushes are a wild plant with a rough exterior, similarly Yishmael is described as a “wild donkey of a man”⁹, this literary connection is likely not a coincidence. To raise a child properly, in a way in which the child will become a stable adult requires a lot of “toiling” on the part of the parents. However, when a child is left on their own, they will lack discipline and become wild. 

It is clear that Yitzchak was everything to Sarah and raising him in a way that would prepare him to be a moral, stable adult was of the utmost importance, otherwise she would not have banished Hagar and Yishmael. Sarah waited a long time to have a child, and any mother who has had difficulty conceiving or simply married late will say that while every mother loves their children, those who had to go through trials and tribulations in some ways look forward to the “toiling” they will need to do for the benefit of their child. Hagar on the other hand did not want to “toil” for Yishmael, she even put her needs above his, in his time of need when she threw him to the side because she couldn’t bear to see him suffer¹⁰. If she physically left him on his own in his time of need, then it is likely that was her parenting style in general, therefore bringing to fruition that Yishmael would be a “wild man.” 

The difference between the two type of judgement is simple. Hagar judged by reading into a situation and drawing conclusions when there was nothing to read into in the first place, she made judgments off of her own assumptions. Sarah judged the reality of the situation before her in relation to the way in which she wanted her household to run. Hagar’s judgement put herself above her missteps while Sarah’s judgement put her son’s wellbeing over that of another woman’s child. Hagar judged in a way that was not of reality, egotistical, presumptuous and as if she knew God’s plan.

The fact that Hagar conceived right away seems to not only caused her to incorrectly judge the reality on the ground regarding her place in Avraham’s household, but also to regarding her role a a parent. Based on Hagar’s actions, it seems like she felt that just as she barely did anything to conceive and Hashem blessed her because she is so righteous then so too the same goes for parenting; she is so righteous that she barely needs to parent and her son will become a great nation. 

In addition, the different judgements made by Sarah and Hagar teach us about a skill that needs to constantly be worked on. It is hard to judge only the reality before oneself and not spiral into many various directions whether anxiety, paranoia, egotistical, or cruel. When something challenging happens in a person’s life, such as the death of a loved one, it is difficult to see how that could be part of a master plan, but it is and one has to just trust in Hashem. Hagar was not able to just trust, she explicitly shows this even more later on when she gives up and distances herself from a dying Yishmael¹¹. 

On two occasions Hagar needed to be reminded to trust in Hashem, first when she was pregnant and was sent away for her contempt of Sarah¹² and again with Yishmael. Both times an angel came to speak to her, to remind her because it is not an easy thing to remember when one is in distress and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

The fact that Hagar was approached by an angel, not once but twice, and was not afraid is uncommon and shows that she truly was on a high spiritual level.¹³ Therefore, the fact that she saw herself as greater than Sarai is not farfetched, but she should have realized that she was the pupil and Sarai was the teacher. 

Here righteousness is highlighted later on. “And Abraham took another wife and her name was Keturah,” according to Bereishit Rabbah, Keturah is Hagar. The midrash goes on to explain that “Keturah” possibly comes from the word “Keter”, an adornment, something beautiful and valuable so as to hint to her righteous soul. Or it comes from the word “Kitur” meaning “to tie” because she tied herself to Avraham and remained loyal to him and had not been with any man during that time¹⁴. 

Perhaps in a way Hagar chose to believe that she had to raise Yishmael on her own, that indeed all of her suffering was part of a bigger plan and therefore she merited to be welcomed back into Avraham’s household and bear six more children to him. 

1. בראשית ט״ז:א ↩︎
2. Rashi on בראשית ט״ז:א ↩︎
3. Rav Avigdor Miller, Toras Avigdor: https://torasavigdor.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/TA-Lech-Lecha-5785-EasyPrint.pdf ↩︎
4. בראשית ט״ז:ד ↩︎
5. Mirror of Our Lives by Rebbetzine Holly Pavlov pgs. 4-11 ↩︎
6. Rashi on בראשית ט״ז:ד ↩︎
7. Mirror of Our Lives by Rebbetzine Holly Pavlov pgs. 4-11 ↩︎
8. בראשית רבה מ״ה:ד ↩︎
9. בראשית ט״ז:י״ב ↩︎
10. בראשית כ״א:ט״ו-ט״ז ↩︎
11. בראשית כ״א:ט-י ↩︎
12.  בראשית ט״ז: ו-ט״ז ↩︎
13. https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/112053/jewish/Hagar.htm ↩︎
14. בראשית רבא ס״א ↩︎