Are Women Obligated in Birkat Hamazon?

A remarkable element of Jewish life is how in our everyday acts we are offered the opportunity to connect to Hashem and show gratitude for what He has blessed us with. An expression of this is in the commandment to thank Hashem both before and after we eat. The mitzvah of birkat hamazon (the after blessing over food) is a deorayta (Torah) level mitzvah. It is not one of the positive time bound mitzvot women are exempt from, and therefore, one would be likely to assume that women and men are equally obligated in this beautiful mitzvah. However, this supposition has in fact been challenged by various chachamim. Below we will examine why this is and through the discussion, gain insights into the connection between women and particular mitzvot, and lessons about what it means to be klal yisrael¹.

A Background on Bensching

The mitzvah to bensch (Yiddish for bless) after a meal (in this case meaning a meal over bread) comes from Devarim where we are told “You will eat and be satisfied and bless Hashem”². Birkat Hamazon contains four brachot. Our tradition holds that the first was written by Moshe Rabbeinu, the second by Yehoshua in the land of Israel, and the third by King David and Shlomo. The fourth bracha and the harachaman section are Rabbinic. The first three brachot deal with Hashem as the sustainer and provider of life, the Land of Israel and its produce, Yerushalayim and the building of the Beit Hamikdash. 

Possible Exemption

Women are obligated in bensching. The Talmud rules out the idea that it might be a positive time bound mitzvah. “Women and bondsmen and minors are exempt from reciting Shema and from tefillin and obligated in prayer and in mezuza and in birkat ha-mazon.”³ In general, the discussion in the Gemara adopts this line of thought. That is until Ravina challenges this notion. From the text in the Talmud, we see he simply raises the question, but that no one gives an answer⁴. This same trend continues with Rashi and the Tosafot, who provide possible motivators for the question, but don’t give their own opinions on the matter. The absence of any adamant position that women are obligated only at the rabbinic level is interesting in and of itself. 

In practice, women are obligated in birkat hamazon and the prevalent custom is for women to say all the words of bensching. Most authorities seem to hold that women are indeed obligated at a Torah level. Even when a question is raised, a clear indication that they are not obligated at a Torah level is lacking, and therefore we hold ‘safek deorayta lechumra’ (in the case of doubt of a Torah level obligation, we are stringent). 

Rashi and Tosafot provide us with the plausible exemption, which is found in the text of birkat hamazon. It is the mention of mitzvot in which women are seemingly excluded. The first is the centrality of the land of Israel in the brachot. Women, in the initial allotment of the land, were not given any. Portions went to the men in the family. Even the daughters of Tzolfchad didn’t receive their own land, but rather that which would have gone to their father⁵. How can women make a bracha thanking Hashem for land, which isn’t really theirs? The second reason is the inclusion of words  ‘And on the brit that He signed on our skin and the Torah that we learnt…” in the second bracha. The words here refer to the brit mila and learning Torah, two mitzvot from which woman are exempt, one of which the fulfilment of would be physically impossible! Again, how can women make a bracha giving personal thanks for a mitzvah in which we are not obligated?  

Practical Implications

As women are indeed obligated in birkat hamazon, at least on a Rabbinic level if not deorayta, the practical implications of Ravina’s questions are few. The most significant ones are if women can fulfil the obligation for a man and if she should mention or leave out the mentions of brit Milah, limmud Torah and the land. The Shulchan Aruch does not mention any reason that a woman should not recite these passages, though the Rema does suggest she leave them out due to the very personal nature of the text (“we thank you for”). The Mishna Berura, however, holds that the custom is for women to recite these lines. What reason might a woman have to thank Hashem for mitzvot she is not obligated in? The Beit Yosef suggests that a (married) woman could be thanking Hashem on behalf of her husband as ishto kegufo– the husband and wife are like one person⁶, and the Meiri suggests that she recites them for the nation of Israel as a whole, men and women⁷. The Meiri’s position is the same as that of the Mishne Brura, who explains that it makes sense for women to recite these lines as “for by merit of the Torah and circumcision, Israel received the land. Furthermore, women also need to learn their mitzvot, to know how to do them.”⁸ In both of these positions we see an acknowledgement that a) women are an integral part of klal Yisrael and therefore connected to all the mitzvot including the land of Israel and brit milah, regardless of obligation, and b) that women are also obligated in limud Torah, at least to some extent. 

The Magen Avraham takes this idea one step forward when he posits that she says these words for herself. Indeed, women are commanded to study Torah in order to keep the mitzvot (as we saw before)⁹. As for the issue of Brit Milah, the Magen Avraham cites the Talmud which states that “A woman is similar to one who is circumcised…”¹⁰ (meaning that women are as if circumcised). The Magen Avraham’s approach sees a direct relevance of Torah and Brit milah to women, giving her grounds for showing personal gratitude. 

In practice, women are obligated in birkat hamazon and the prevalent custom is for women to say all the words of bensching. Most authorities seem to hold that women are indeed obligated at a Torah level. Even when a question is raised, a clear indication that they are not obligated at a Torah level is lacking, and therefore we hold ‘safek deorayta lechumra’ (in the case of doubt of a Torah level obligation, we are stringent). 

But over and above the technicalities, in the discussion of women and benching, when looking at the discussion on a more macro level, we see in the words of Birkat Hamazon an intersection between personal gratitude, community and nationhood. Judaism is not only a religion of individuals. Of course, each individual pursues and nurtures his or her relationship with Hashem. Each individual is individually obligated in the mitzvot and expected to keep them. Each individual must express gratitude and recognizes that Hashem is the sustainer of mankind as a whole and each of us as individuals, as we do in beaching. But a core aspect of Judaism is also in community, in unity. We see this strongly expressed in our cannonized tefilah, and so too in Birkat Hamazon. Whether a woman is personally obligated in the mitzva of Limmud Torah, Brit Milah or is eligible for an allotment in Eretz Yisrael, does not take away from the need or desire to give thanks for them. She is, as equally as any man, part of klal Yisrael, and benefits from the male contingent who uphold those mitzvot, as do men from the mitzvot that women uphold.

Birkat Hamazon is not really about food – it is about Hashem as the sustainer of mankind, the provider of life. It is about Jewish destiny in the land of Israel. These are the blessings we will receive- sustenance and security in the land- when we uphold the brit and the Torah. This was promised to all of Avraham’s descendants, man and woman. It is our mutual responsibility and privilege to work toward their fulfillment. 

1. This article is based on the Derechacha article of the same topic, which takes a more in depth look into benching and the discussion on women’s obligation. See here for further reading: https://www.deracheha.org/birkat-ha-mazon/  ↩︎
2. Devarim 8:17-18 ↩︎
3. Mishna Berachot 3:3 ↩︎
4. Berachot 20b ↩︎
5. Rashi Berachot 20b ↩︎
6. Beit Yosef OC 187  ↩︎
7. Beit Ha-bechira, Berachot 48b ↩︎
8. Mishna Berura 187:9 ↩︎
9. Magen Avraham 187:3 ↩︎
10. Avoda Zara 28a ↩︎