Toldot: Praying with the Fervor of a Pitchfork

The beginning of the parsha depicts the powerful scene of Yitzchak and Rivka praying together for a child. Rav Bregman¹ notes that the pasuk first describes the prayer and only then explains that Rivka was barren rather than first stating the childlessness leading to the prayer. This unexpected structure echoes the Gemara² which tells us that Hashem desires the prayers of the righteous. In other words, it was not because of the childlessness that our holy ancestors prayed, but it was for the sake of their prayers that they were childless. Hashem loves the tefillot of His righteous ones and He therefore sends them situations which will encourage them to call out to Him. 

In She’arim BeTefilla, Rav Pincus lists 10 different forms of prayer and explains what each one entails. The most common term for prayer is ‘lehitpalel’ as in the Hebrew word ‘tefilla.’ However, when Yitzchak and Rivka pray, the pasuk³ says וַיֶּעְתַּ֨ר which means they prayed with the form of tefilla called “itur.” This is one of the types of prayer listed in the sefer of Rav Pincus. While Rashi says that this means Yitzchak prayed abundantly, the Ibn Ezra relates it to the word ‘la’ator’ which means to entreat, in the sense that Yitzchak entreated Hashem with his words. The Chizkuni agrees with Rashi that this was a tefilla of intensity and urging, where Yitzchak could be said to be ‘pushing’ Hashem. 

We can imagine that a tefilla which is powerful enough to overturn realities would have to emerge from an extremely holy place, from a person who has dug inside of themselves with a form of ‘pitchfork’ and dug deeply in the spiritual ground. 

Although there are various ways of understanding this form of tefilla, the Gemara⁴ records that the prayer of ‘vaye’atar’ is derived from the word ‘eter,’ a pitchfork. A pitchfork is used to overturn soil and move produce from place to place, in a similar vein, this form of tefilla overturns Hashem’s middot from a state of anger to mercy. Indeed, Rashi points out that this root ‘eter’ has a connotation of things piling up – and the Gemara has added that this form of tefilla overturns the pile. We can imagine that a tefilla which is powerful enough to overturn realities would have to emerge from an extremely holy place, from a person who has dug inside of themselves with a form of ‘pitchfork’ and dug deeply in the spiritual ground. 

In this way, we can see that tefilla is far from the shopping list or ATM machine we sometimes imagine it to be. It is a process, as much as tilling the land is.  as The word tefilla itself is derived from the Hebrew root ‘palal’ which means to judge,through the process of prayer we are undergoing an introspection where we search our own intentions and desires and judge their worth and significance⁵. Through praying the words of the siddur, written with Divine Wisdom by the Anshei Knesset HaGedola, we are able to ascertain our own worthiness. We check our alignment with the requests they inscribed into our siddurim: how much do we care about redemption? About tzaddikim? About our closeness to Hashem? Far from reciting a string of ancient words, we are conducting a self-assessment of our spirituality, three times a day, and ensuring our heads and hearts are united in the service of Hashem.

When Rachel named her son Naftali, she said נַפְתּוּלֵי אֱלֹ-הִ֧ים נִפְתַּ֛לְתִּי עִם־אֲחֹתִ֖י “With divine bonds I have been joined to my sister.” The root of the word Naftali, used in the verbs of the pasuk is ‘patil’ which means to be bonded, to be tied. A ‘petil’ in Hebrew is a thread, an entity which connects and intertwines easily. This is the same root as ‘tefillin’ which is one way in which man bonds and ‘ties himself’ to his Creator and indeed, the same root for the word ‘tefilla.’ The basis of true tefilla is a bond with Hashem, to tie ourselves to Him in the way a thread stitches clothing, tefillin enwrap the arm, and Rachel felt bonded with her sister. This is an echo of what we expressed earlier: prayer is not a consequence of difficulty, it is the goal of it. Hashem sends us times of challenge in order to awaken within us the desire to bond with Him. The true purpose of our prayer is to forge this deep connection with Hashem⁶. 

We see that most of the Avot and Imahot, the first builders of the Jewish people, struggled greatly to have children. This was no mistake. Hashem wanted to encourage the tears of these righteous mothers and fathers, because there is no more precious foundation to our nation than holy tears. Both our survival and our eventual redemption are guaranteed by those tears shed so long ago. Rav Pincus wrote in his sefer on Jewish women, Nefesh Chaya, that the reason a woman experiences so many aches and pains, such as the pains of pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing is to ensure that she is continuously crying out to Hashem. Hashem craves a bond with each of His children and while a man can bind himself with the straps of his tefillin, a woman ties herself to Hashem through her cries. It started with the tears and tefillot of Sara and Rivka, Rachel and Leah, and it continues through our heartfelt prayers. 

We can pray from a siddur, we can daven by our candles. We can cry over a Sefer Tehillim, we can shuckle in shul. But as Jewish women, we can tap into the incredible powers of tefilla simply through talking to Hashem, through confiding in Him our worries, through asking Him to fulfill what is in our hearts. When we, in the privacy of our homes, turn to Hashem and make a pure request for His help, with shidduchim, with bearing children, with raising children, with anything – we are emulating the ways of our Imahot and our tears accompany theirs in nourishing the souls of our nation. 

¹ Book, “Short and Sweet on the Parsha”

² Yevamot 64a

³ Bereishit 25:21

⁴ Yevamot 64a

⁵ Idea heard in name of Rav Hirsch

⁶ Rav Eli Mansour on Prayer