Ki Teitzei: The Non-Jewish Woman Captive

This week’s parsha begins with the perplexing scenario of eishet yefat toar. Literally translated as “woman of beautiful appearance,” the pesukim outline that under circumstances of war, a Jewish soldier who sees a non-Jewish female captive may take her as his wife, following certain conditions. Here, we will discuss and explore some of the depth behind this widely misunderstood part of Torah, and use it to enhance our avoda this Elul. 

“And [if] you will see amongst the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her, you shall take her for yourself as a wife.

And you shall bring her inside your house and shave her head and grow her nails.

And she shall remove the garments of her captivity and sit in your house and cry over her father and mother for a month of days and after that you may come to her and be her husband and she will be your wife.

And if you don’t desire her, you must release her, you may not sell her for money, you shall not keep her as a servant because you afflicted her.”¹

Understanding the Mitzva

Reading the above verses, we may be surprised that the Torah sets out halachot for a Jewish soldier concerning bringing a non-Jewish female captive into his home. This is something we would surely consider debased and completely anathema to the pure ways of the Torah. Yet,  the Gemara² tells us לֹא דִּבְּרָה תּוֹרָה אֶלָּא כְּנֶגֶד יֵצֶר הָרָע, the Torah is addressing the yetzer hara. Instead of forbidding a scenario which is almost impossible to resist, the Torah creates a permitted version of the desire. Rashi says if the Torah did not delineate the laws of eishet yefat toar, it would have happened anyway, in a forbidden way. This is a powerful reminder woven into the halachic fabric of the Torah, that no one understands human nature more profoundly than the Creator. 

However, we should not err and think that the Torah actually wants to see this materialize. In fact, Rashi writes that this episode is followed by the case of the hated wife (v.15) and then the rebellious son (v.18). This chronology reflects the order of events for the person; if a man takes an eishet yefat toar, he will end up hating her and producing a rebellious son. 

The Birkat Asher argues that the reasoning provided for the eishet yefat toar needs further explanation. It is not enough to say that the Torah felt that the desire would be too strong, because this could apply to any forbidden temptation. This is especially unusual given that the soldiers who would be fighting in the army of Hashem were such righteous people, they would only be allowed to fight without sin. The Birkat Asher explains that it is not a piyus, a concession, to the yetzer hara that a man is allowed to take an eishet yefat toar, but a terufa, an antidote. Times of war surround people with negative influences and providing a halachic framework actually prevents the Jewish soldiers from falling prey to their yetzer hara. Without this halacha, a man would stumble and completely lose his spiritual balance and end up sinning again. With this halacha, the negative influence of war cannot permeate a soldier’s spiritual standing. Rabbeinu Bachya highlights that it is a praise of the Jewish people that even in times of war, where morality generally drops and the basest of behaviors emerge, the Jewish people have a mesorah of purity. Indeed, the Ohr Hachaim writes that the Torah uses the seemingly superfluous phrase ‘al oyvecha’ in writing ‘when you wage war against your enemies.’ The Ohr Hachaim writes that it is obvious that a war would be fought against enemies. Rather, the Torah is highlighting that a soldier may not enter the battlefield with the intention of bringing home an eishet yefat toar, rather his focus must be on vanquishing the enemies of Hashem. 

Understanding the Process

The pesukim tell us that the eishet yefat toar must cut her hair, grow her nails and remove her garments of captivity. Rashi explains that she cuts her hair to strip away her physical beauty and make her ugly in the eyes of her captor. Ibn Ezra adds that maybe the soldier took her because of her hair. The Kli Yakar notes that shaving off hair and growing nails are signs of mourning and these acts should cause the soldier to remember the day of death, and ultimately not pursue the relationship. Indeed, the final pasuk of this topic begins ‘and it will be [if] you don’t desire her,’ where the language of the pasuk (with the word vehaya) shows that ultimately, you will lose your desire for her.

On a more personal level, the Ohr Hachaim writes that the war in the pasuk is the battlefield of life and the eishet yefat toar symbolises each of our souls. They are called beautiful, because although sullied by sin, our essence always remains pristine. The shaving of the hair and nails refers to the shaving of the klipot, the forces of materialism which pull us down. Our garments are the layers we coat ourselves in when we sin, and by doing teshuva, we take off these garments and remove the negative impact of our sins.

The commentators debate about the significance of the woman removing her garments of captivity. Rashi writes that the women of the enemy would wear nice garments on purpose as a strategy of war, while the Chizkuni suggests that these garments were the clothing worn during idolatrous practices and thus had to be removed. 

A Deeper Look

The Ohr Hachaim analyzes this entire episode in a different light. He bases this on a Zohar which reveals that following the sin of Adam Harishon, there were many holy souls which were ‘taken captive’ by what we call the sitra achra (we can translate this as the dark side of spirituality). The Ohr Hachaim sees the eishet yefat toar as an opportunity to free these captive souls. He explains that since the soldier is engaged in a battle for Hashem, he is surrounded by the Shechina. This state allows him to see the spiritual beauty of the eishet yefat toar and it is this holiness which attracts him. It is not her physical beauty which captivates him, but her spiritual beauty. It is for this reason that the pasuk writes ‘v’chashakta ba,’ which literally means you shall desire what it is in her – rather than ‘ota’ which would entail desiring the actual woman. The soldier is drawn to the beautiful soul which is held captive inside this non-Jewish woman. 

On a more personal level, the Ohr Hachaim writes that the war in the pasuk is the battlefield of life and the eishet yefat toar symbolises each of our souls. They are called beautiful, because although sullied by sin, our essence always remains pristine. The shaving of the hair and nails refers to the shaving of the klipot, the forces of materialism which pull us down. Our garments are the layers we coat ourselves in when we sin, and by doing teshuva, we take off these garments and remove the negative impact of our sins. We then sit and cry over our distance from our Father, from Hashem, for a month before we can finally reunite in marriage. Which month is this? The month of Elul.

The Power of Elul 

Rabbi Frand explains the unique wording of the pasuk ‘yerach yamim’, ‘a month of days’ where the captive mourns over her mother and father for a month. Ordinarily, we call a month ‘chodesh,’ however, in the case of a get, the document of halachic divorce, the date recorded is not written as a ‘chodesh’ but as ‘yerach.’ Chodesh is about stepping into newness, but yerach is about closing the chapter. Like the eishet yefat toar, we cry for a period of ‘yerach yamim’ the days of the month of Elul, through our teshuva and tefilla, through our selichot. The yefat toar cried because she turned her back on her idolatry. We cry because we have turned our back on Hashem. We want to close the chapter on that way of life. The Bilvavi writes that Elul is related to the root ‘yalal’ meaning to wail. We wail and moan as we realize what we have missed all these months of being disconnected from Hashem, from living as our best selves, from being plugged in constantly to spirituality. We begin our journey home because we miss Him. 

As we rid ourselves of our garments soiled from sin, cut off our hair and nails – the habits which drag us down spiritually – we uncover the eishet yefat toar, the perfect spiritual beauty, dwelling inside each of our souls. 

1. Devarim 21:10-15 ↩︎
2. Kiddushin 21b ↩︎