Elul: Cultivating True Love for Hashem

In Chapter 10 of Hilchot Teshuva, the Rambam explores the theme of loving Hashem. In Mishna 1, he outlines the attitudes and mindsets that one should avoid when serving Hashem. Mishna 2 then shifts to describe what authentic service of Hashem out of love looks like. In Mishna 3, the Rambam addresses the level of love that one should strive for in their relationship with Hashem. He writes as follows:

What is the proper [degree] of love? That a person should love God with a very great and exceeding love until his soul is bound up in the love of God. Thus, he will always be obsessed with this love as if he is lovesick.

[A lovesick person’s] thoughts are never diverted from the love of a certain woman. He is always obsessed with her; when he sits down, when he gets up, when he eats and drinks. With an even greater [love], the love for God should be [implanted] in the hearts of those who love Him and are obsessed with Him at all times as we are commanded [Deuteronomy 6:5: “Love God…] with all your heart and with all soul.”

This concept was implied by Solomon [Shir HaShirim 2:5] when he stated, as a metaphor: “I am lovesick.” [Indeed,] the totality of the Song of Songs is a parable describing [this love].

Included in the “very great and exceeding love” we are meant to feel toward Hashem is the practice of giving thanks from a place of true serenity, even during difficult and painful times. This involves recognizing that everything that happens comes from Hashem and is ultimately for our benefit, even if we don’t immediately see the reason or the good in it.

An essential aspect of loving Hashem fully involves minimizing distractions that can divert our attention and affection away from God. Materialistic pleasures and worldly pursuits often pose significant distractions. Engaging in the relentless pursuit of material wealth and pleasures can create a conflict of interest, where our devotion to God, rather than being our central focus, can become secondary.

Gratitude in Adversity

The Mishna in Berachot 9:5 highlights this concept. It states that one should recite a blessing for bad occurrences just as one does for good ones. This teaching is based on the verse, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might” (Devarim 6:5). The Mishna interprets this verse as follows:

• “With all your heart” means that both your good and bad inclinations should be devoted to loving God.
• “With all your soul” means that even if God were to take your very life, you should still love Him.
• “With all your might” means using all your resources, including your money, which the Torah refers to as “might.” Alternatively, it can be understood as thanking God for everything He gives you, whether it is good or challenging.

Avoiding Distractions from Divine Love

Building on this idea of serving Hashem “with all of our might.” An essential aspect of loving Hashem fully involves minimizing distractions that can divert our attention and affection away from God. Materialistic pleasures and worldly pursuits often pose significant distractions. Engaging in the relentless pursuit of material wealth and pleasures can create a conflict of interest, where our devotion to God, rather than being our central focus, can become secondary. When the allure of worldly pleasures takes precedence, it can diminish the strength and sincerity of our spiritual commitment.

Constant Devotion

We’ve discussed the importance of serving Hashem with serenity, but it is equally crucial to maintain unwavering consistency in our devotion. According to the Rambam, our love for Hashem should be as constant and pervasive as a lovesick person’s thoughts about their beloved, always present whether we are sitting, standing, eating, or drinking. 

This ideal suggests that our love for Hashem should remain steady and reliable, unaffected by daily emotions, external circumstances, or life’s ups and downs. Although achieving this level of devotion may seem challenging, it becomes clearer when we compare it to a healthy marriage. In a strong relationship, love remains constant and central, even during life’s ups and downs or on difficult days. In the same way, our love for Hashem should be enduring and unwavering, no matter what is happening around us.

Transforming Divine Will into Personal Desire

Achieving a level of love for Hashem allows us to align our will with His so that fulfilling His will feels as natural as following our own desires, as expressed in Pirkei Avot 2:4: “Do His will as though it were your will.” This alignment means that our devotion and obedience to Hashem are not merely acts of compliance but are deeply integrated into our personal desires and motivations. When our love for Hashem is truly encompassing, following His will becomes a seamless and inherent part of who we are, reflecting a complete unity between our will and His. As Rabbeinu Yonah explains (ibid.), “[Just] as when a person does his own will with want and desire, so should he do the will of the Holy One, blessed be He.”

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There are many insights to draw from all of this, but let’s focus on three key points that we can focus on this Elul:

1. Loving Hashem involves maintaining serenity and gratitude even during challenging times. This involves recognizing and appreciating Hashem’s role in all aspects of life, whether they are positive or difficult.
2. True love for Hashem goes beyond just strong feelings or abstract beliefs. It requires a comprehensive approach to life, where every part of our being—our thoughts, actions, and resources—is aligned with our devotion to God. This means integrating our love for Hashem into all aspects of our daily lives, ensuring that our service and commitment are reflected in everything we do.
3. To serve Hashem fully, we must minimize distractions that can shift our focus and weaken our spiritual commitment. While having a job and engaging in hobbies, for example, are valuable for supporting ourselves financially and providing necessary downtime, they should not become distractions that pull us away from our relationship with Hashem. We need to ensure these activities enhance, rather than detract from, our devotion.