What You Didn’t Know About Judging One Favorably

Have you recently observed someone encroaching on the boundaries of halacha or ethics? Judging one’s fellow favorably is arguably a mitzvah and obligatory, and it is certainly the proper way to conduct oneself.¹ This is the case for most Jews in situations that can be understood either way: you can give the benefit of the doubt and find a limud zchut, a meritorious judgment, or you can condemn the person as a transgressor.² If there are two legitimate perspectives and the person in question is not a well-known, flagrant sinner, it is appropriate to find justification for their actions.³ 

To Find Merit

There are cases where some goodwill and a little creativity is all we need to come up with a limud zchut. A frum-looking person walking into a non-kosher store might be purchasing a bottle of water, or using the restrooms, or asking for directions. 

Sometimes, though, it seems too steep a curve. What if my neighbor indulges in gossip: I know her, I know she knows the law, the words she said are forbidden and serve no purpose. I could tell myself that she might’ve had a hard morning, that she failed as we all do. That would certainly mitigate her culpability in my mental courtroom, but I’d still be maintaining that she transgressed.

Our life circumstances, nature and nurture, determine our point of battle. Some Jews find their struggles in driving or texting on Shabbos; some find their shemirat Shabbat challenge in refraining from nibbling an annoying flap of skin off their lip. With every victory, our nekudat habechira rises towards a minutely higher level, where the subsequent challenge is the fulcrum of growth — for now. 

Chazal say that one who is careful to judge others favorably will be judged the same way by Hashem⁴, and that is a proposition we cannot afford to pass up. How, then, do we understand the middah of judging favorably when there is a clear transgression? Does judging favorably require letting go of an objective standard?

Are we, in being dan l’kaf zchut, compromising our own ideals?

The Zone of Choice

Rav Dessler⁵ famously develops the idea of nekudat habechira, the zone of choice. He describes a person’s inner conflict between good and evil by comparing it to a real life battlefield. 

Although a war is composed of multiple battles on multiple fronts, at any given point there is a certain battle raging on a particular front. In that moment, the entire war effort hinges on the outcome of this particular battle, and based on this battle will the front further advance. All that matters in this moment is this single battle, this single territory. 

Our life circumstances, nature and nurture, determine our point of battle. Some Jews find their struggles in driving or texting on Shabbos; some find their shemirat Shabbat challenge in refraining from nibbling an annoying flap of skin off their lip. With every victory, our nekudat habechira rises towards a minutely higher level, where the subsequent challenge is the fulcrum of growth — for now. 

So while there are hundreds of mitzvot and thousands of consequential dinim, responsibility is given only in that space where free choice exists: above that is too difficult, below is no longer a challenge. Only in the borderline, gray zone of bechira is a person liable. 

We do not know where anyone’s nekudat habechira may lie. Sometimes a person might be tempted to a sin, and their scope of choice does not include the possibility of resisting; instead, triumphing for them might mean succumbing only after a couple of minutes of internal battle.Their current nekudat habechira is capped at the ability to challenge their desire with honesty.

We don’t know when people triumph because we don’t know what the true struggle was. As such, liability can only ever be ascertained only by Hashem Himself. 

In Their Shoes

In one of the places where the mishna discusses being dan l’kaf zchut, there is a notable addition. “Do not judge your fellow until you stand in his place.” ⁶One way this is understood is that since you will never be in another person’s place, you should never judge what seems to you as questionable. 

This can otherwise be explained by the idea we’re exploring. Your personality, your upbringing, your peers and scope of exposure, those things all determine where your struggles are. What might be inconceivable for you, for your “place”, might be far beyond another person’s zone of choice. It’s not merely that you can’t understand their circumstances; it’s that you do not even know what their nisayon was in this circumstance. 

A good way to favorably judge a transgression from the sidelines is to assume this person’s nekudat habechirah is right at this place where this was the right thing for them to do at this moment. Your neighbor might have been challenged not to refrain from lashon hara, but perhaps to share it only with an audience of one, rather than a crowd. 

The High Way

Think of all the choices you’ve made in your pursuit of being a good Jew. Presumably, you made those calls because you believed them to be better than their respective alternatives. If you selected a direction as the moral choice, you have made a value judgment about your choice being the superior one. 

As you might find if you look around, lots of well-meaning Jews, on lots of moral quandaries, will take the position that is exactly in opposition to yours. 

1. Rambam, Sefer Hamitzvot, Mitzvah 117 ↩︎
2. Meiri, Shavuot, 30b ↩︎
3. Rabbeinu Yonah, Shaarei Teshuva 3:218 ↩︎
4. Shabbat 127b ↩︎
5. Kuntrat Habechirah, Michtav Me’Eliyahu ↩︎
6.  Avot 2:4 ↩︎