Leah: The True Value of Gratitude

Every Jewish schoolchild knows that the very first word out of our mouths each morning is “Modeh ani.” Rav Shimshon Pincus z”l once opened a class on tefillah with the question: Why is it that we say “Modeh ani” (Grateful am I) and not “Ani modeh” (I am grateful)? And he answered: Because first, we offer thanks to the Creator and only then do we relate to the party that was created.

When giving his final blessing to Yehuda, Yaakov tells him:  “Yehuda, [as for] you, your brothers will acknowledge you.” (Bereishit 49:8) The Midrash (Bereishit Rabba 98) explains this verse as follows: “All of your brothers will be called by your name. After all, a Jew does not say ‘I am a Reuveini’ or ‘I am a Shimoni’; but he does say ‘I am a Yehudi.’”

The Sfas Emes (Vayigash 5631) teaches in the name of his father, the Chiddushei HaRim, that hoda’ah — gratitude — is essential to the Jewish persona, and it is for this very trait that we have become known as Yehudim. When we are grateful for and acknowledge Hashem’s involvement and kindness in every aspect of our lives, we are fulfilling our unique purpose as Jews.

Leah’s Declaration

When we examine the initial naming of Yehuda, we see something intriguing. “And she [Leah] conceived again and bore a son, and she said, ‘This time, I will thank Hashem!’ Therefore, she named him Yehuda…” (Bereishit 29:35)

The words “this time” not only seem superfluous, but in fact appears to minimize the gratitude being shown here. This was Leah’s fourth child. Only now did she thank Hashem? Can we really believe that this righteous foremother did not thank Hashem for her other children?

Even more baffling is the Gemara (Brachos 7a) which tells us that until Leah came along and said “this time I will thank…,” no one had ever given thanks before Hashem. How can it be that this trait is so important, so essential to our essence as Jews, and yet this was the first time anyone in the history of our forefathers showed gratitude to Hashem?

Rashi tells us the following on this verse: “This time I must thank Hashem because I took more than my share.” Leah knew that Yaakov would have four wives and twelve sons. Logically then, each woman would be mother to three of the tribes. And yet, here she was giving birth to a fourth child. She was overflowing with gratitude, but not just any gratitude. It was a feeling of being given something beyond her expectations that brought her to praise Hashem in a way that no one had until this point. 

On the Receiving End

Rav Chaim Friedlander (Sifsei Chaim, Middos v’avodas Hashem Part I) brings another interesting Midrash about Leah. “Leah grasped the trait of hodayah and she then brought forth men of hodayah — Yehuda who acknowledged that Tamar was correct.” 

When we are grateful we are also giving — giving back to the benefactor a positive feeling for what he has done, and even encouraging him to continue in his giving.

The hoda’ah of Leah and of Yehuda are put in the same category, and while both come from the same Hebrew root, the two forms of “hoda’ah” are at face-value entirely different. In the context of Leah, hoda’ah means gratitude; she praised and thanked Hashem. But in Yehuda’s case, it refers to being “modeh al hamemes” — admitting the truth when he was able to testify to Tamar’s innocence. (See Bereishit 38:26). Why are these two ideas linked together as one, and why do they share the same root word?

The Sifsei Chaim goes on to explain that man has an inherent internal battle when it comes to gratitude. He was actually created to be a giver, to emulate Hashem as the ultimate provider for the world. A giver does not want to receive, and showing gratitude for a favor puts him in the very uncomfortable state of admitting that he is a receiver. 

But in truth, it is all just a matter of perspective. Because in a sense, when we are grateful we are also giving — giving back to the benefactor a positive feeling for what he has done, and even encouraging him to continue in his giving. So while man may feel that saying “Thanks” puts him down, it can also raise him up, making him into a provider as well. 

A Noble Admission

It is this challenge which is assigned to us: to admit that we needed and benefited from another’s kindness, and to show our gratitude. The challenge exists in every area — as much with our fellow human beings as it does with Hashem. Overcoming it begins with realizing that the ability to be modeh al haemet and show hoda’ah is not a weakness, but is rather a display of stellar moral character and strength. 

In areas where we really feel we have been given something beyond our expectations, it is that much easier to adopt a perspective of gratitude. That is why Leah was able to express a certain level of gratitude that had previously not been attained; she felt completely undeserving. 

But as Yehudim, this trait is meant to be infused into every gift we receive, for us to come to the ultimate recognition that we are constantly dependent on the kindness of Hashem. When we understand that everything is “extra” we can show this “extra special gratitude” on a regular basis and live up to our noble identity.