While Torah contains so many relatable lessons and principles, some of its practices seem completely at odds with the way we live now. One of the most glaring examples of this is the practice of polygamy.
We notice that two of the three patriarchs, Avraham and Yaakov, had multiple wives. David HaMelech had more than one wife and it was written that his son, King Solomon, had 700 wives and 300 concubines. This was the case even though the Torah warns a king not to have too many wives, “lest his heart be led astray.”1
However, the permissibility of polygamy changed under the leadership of Rabbeinu Gershom, commonly referred to as “The Light of the Exile”,2 who put a ban on polygamy. One of the advantages of this takana or decree enacted by a rabbi to address specific issues, was that it safeguarded women and prevented them from being exploited or neglected. In this sense, we can say Rabbeinu Gershom was “the first feminist.”
If the Torah Allowed Polygamy, Why Ban It?
Rabbeinu Gershom was born in Metz in 960 CE and became a leader of the Meintz Yeshiva. Because of his stature and influence as a rabbi, he had the authority to enact takanot or decrees, intended to deal with contemporary problems. One of these takanot was a ban on polygamy.
Yet, one may ask, if Torah is timeless and cannot be changed, how can a rabbinical authority be entitled to bring changes to it? The answer is because the Torah recognises that situations can change over time, and the Rabbi’s of each generation are responsible for their generation and are expected to do whatever is necessary to protect them.
The concept of takana begs the question – if the Torah allowed polygamy, how could a rabbinical authority ban it? It should be emphasized that Jewish law gives rabbinical leaders the authority to establish takanot – or decrees that have the force of law3. A rabbi may institute a takana to fill a void that has been created by changing circumstances or to amend an existing law in light of unique situations.
Yet, one may ask, if Torah is timeless and cannot be changed, how can a rabbinical authority be entitled to bring changes to it? The answer is because the Torah recognises that situations can change over time, and the Rabbi’s of each generation are responsible for their generation and are expected to do whatever is necessary to protect them.
Some have posited that these situations included the harsh financial realities in the exile that made supporting multiple households difficult4, or because polygamy wasn’t the norm and was in fact frowned on by society at large.
However, it’s clear that Rabbeinu Gershom was concerned with the effect that polygamy had on women themselves5. He passed other takanot concerning family life, most notably, the ban on divorcing a wife against her will. Preventing a man from giving a wife a get unless she consented to it was intended to bolster the ban on polygamy6.
Before Rabbeinu Gershom’s ban, a man could simply take an additional wife. Of course, he had to abide by the ketubah, the marital agreement to provide his wives with financial support and marital rights. Still, a woman had no say in this issue, nor did she have the right to object if her husband wanted to divorce her outright and leave her alone with children and without financial resources.
Divorce without consent was a way “out” for a man who didn’t want to take responsibility for his wife. Therefore, by both issuing the takana to ban polygamy and to forbid divorce without the wife’s consent, Rabbeinu Gershom was, in effect, protecting women from situations in which they would be exploited, neglected, and impoverished. This was definitely beneficial for women, and given Rabbeinu Gershom’s comprehensive rulings on these issues, he was certainly an early champion of women’s rights.
Why Polygamy Isn’t Beneficial for Women
Although Rabbeinu Gershom must have seen specific problems with polygamy in his own generation, hence the need for the takana, a careful look at the Chumash and Tanakh reveals that polygamy was never an ideal situation and almost always led to serious problems.
For instance, we find that there was such intense conflict between Avraham’s two wives, Sarah and Hagar, that he had to lead Hagar to the desert with her child. Yaakov didn’t intend to marry both Rachel and Leah, but was tricked by Laban. Although there was generally peace between the two sisters, their children often quarreled, and it seemed to have been a factor in Leah’s son’s jealousy and mistreatment of Yosef, Rachel’s son. These are just a few examples amongst many, and it is inevitable that polygamy creates discord and rivalry that aren’t conducive to peace in the family.
Polygamy also allows a man to basically do what he wishes. Even if he abides by the ketubah and fulfills the minimum requirements for each wife, a woman in this situation will certainly feel she is being taken advantage of and may feel distrustful of a husband who can just take a new wife. This makes a woman feel very insecure in her committed relationship and takes its toll on family life.
Also, there is likely to be fighting between the wives7. As we saw in the case of Rachel and Leah, even if there isn’t a conflict between the women, their children will be resentful of each other. This can lead to community rupture and metaphorical, if not literal, civil war.
Rabbeinu Gershom’s Legacy and Women’s Rights in Judaism
As we see today, Rabbeinu Gershom’s takana has withstood the test of time. Although according to some opinions, the ban on polygamy was not intended to last after the fifth millennium and it wasn’t accepted in all places (i.e. certain Sephardic communities)8, we can see that monogamy is the norm in modern Jewish life.
The Jewish concept of dina d’malkhuta dina or “The law of the land is the law” is one reason Rabbeinu Gershon’s takana on polygamy has such staying power9. Since polygamy is no longer considered acceptable in the West, even if the actual date of the takana has passed, Jewish communities don’t allow men to have more than one wife.
This is in harmony with a greater emphasis on women’s issues and a concern for their welfare. Jewish women today can thank Rabbeinu Gershom for safeguarding Jewish marriage and the dignity of Jewish women.
1 Deuteronomy 17:17
2 https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/112511/jewish/Rabbeinu-Gershom-Ben-Judah.htm
3 Deuteronomy 17:11, Shab. 23a
4 Responsa of Maharam mi-Padua, 14; Responsa Mishkenot Yaakov, 1.
5 Darchei Moshe, cit. 9
6 Even HaEzer 1:2
7 Mordechai, Ketubot 291, cited in Darchei Moshe ibid. 1:12.
8 Even Ha-Ezer 1:10
9 The Shulchan Aruch says that even if it is not against the law, but just not customary, a man cannot marry a second wife, even if the cherem is over.
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