Is Jealousy Always an Undesirable Trait?

Is jealousy inherently negative? At first glance, it seems so, especially when we’re encouraged to be content with what we have and in our life circumstances, as the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot 4:1 states, “Eizeh Hu Ashir? HaSameach B’Chelko – Who is rich? He who rejoices in his lot.” 

However, the Gemara in Bava Batra 21a presents a different perspective, stating that “Kinat Sofrim Tarbeh Chachmah – Jealousy among scholars increases wisdom.” This suggests that jealousy can sometimes be a good thing since it can act as a catalyst for growth and improvement. 

In this article, we will explore the nuanced nature of jealousy, distinguishing between its potentially constructive and detrimental forms. We will consider what it is about ‘bad’ jealousy that makes it harmful and gain a clearer understanding of where our envious feelings are coming from.

Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz explains that we should approach jealousy with different perspectives depending on what we are envious of. He notes¹:

It is told in the name of one of our luminaries that man was created in such a way that he would always be able to look upon his fellowman from the standpoint of his material state. He would then give thanks to God for his own more fortunate condition and be content with his own lot. In the spiritual realm, in contrast, he can look at those who are superior to himself and recognize his own deficiency through comparison.

Man, however, tends to do the opposite: He looks at the other’s material wealth and is grieved that he himself has not reached that bracket, whereas, in the spiritual realm, he looks at those who are inferior to himself so as to be satisfied with his own lot!

What really matters is the area in which this dissatisfaction occurs. Jealousy occurs when we notice that others have things we consider valuable and wish to obtain ourselves. It arises from our desire to improve our standing in the areas we care about most and to achieve what we see as important. The question here is, though, what do we see as valuable? And in what areas do we see ourselves as lacking? Where is our dissatisfaction? Do we feel dissatisfaction in material aspects, such as wealth or possessions, or in spiritual aspects, such as our level of Torah learning and moral development? 

In essence, we have the power to decide what we allow ourselves to be envious of. We can choose the focus of our envy. Instead of falling into the common reversal and envying material wealth but feeling satisfied with lesser spiritual achievements, we can intentionally direct our envy towards positive things like spiritual growth and moral integrity. 

Harnessing the Power of Dissatisfaction: Transforming Jealousy into Personal Growth

Let’s break this down further. Where does jealousy come from? It arises from dissatisfaction. However, dissatisfaction itself is not inherently good or bad; rather, it plays a vital role in our lives. If a person didn’t experience any dissatisfaction, they would lack the motivation to seek improvement. We should all acknowledge that we are all incomplete in various aspects of our lives, have a level of discomfort with this knowledge, and use it as a springboard to improve. 

What really matters is the area in which this dissatisfaction occurs. Jealousy occurs when we notice that others have things we consider valuable and wish to obtain ourselves. It arises from our desire to improve our standing in the areas we care about most and to achieve what we see as important. The question here is, though, what do we see as valuable? And in what areas do we see ourselves as lacking? Where is our dissatisfaction? Do we feel dissatisfaction in material aspects, such as wealth or possessions, or in spiritual aspects, such as our level of Torah learning and moral development? 

As Rabbi Steinsaltz notes, we look at other’s material wealth and are grieved that we don’t have the same level of wealth that they have. Conversely, in the spiritual realm, we look at those who are inferior to ourselves so as to be satisfied with our own lot.

Thus, the problem of jealousy lies not with the midda itself but rather with the underlying hashkafa behind the midda, which is what drives it. Jealousy in and of itself is neutral – it can be good, or it can be bad. The key factor is not just the presence of jealousy but what we are feeling envious of, in other words – in what area we channel it. 

What this really boils down to, then is a matter of values. Do we place excessive value on things that may not hold true significance? Are we jealous of other people’s bigger houses and larger bank accounts? Or do we practice kinat sofrim, the kind of envy that drives us to seek and emulate the wisdom of those who excel in Torah knowledge?

On the subject of kinat sofrim, the Orchot Tzadikim (Gate 14, Sha’at HaKinna) writes as follows:

When one sees another studying, it should excite his envy and he should say “This man studies all day, I shall do the same!” And similarly in the matter of all the commandments. Everyone should envy his companion and try to emulate the good deeds of his companion. If he sees a wicked man who has even one good quality, he should envy him for that and should emulate it. 

On a similar note, Mishlei (23:17) advises, “Only [envy] God-fearing men, at all times,” and the Malbim explains, “Envy the fear of God if you witness someone possessing it, and aspire to emulate the actions of the God-fearing individuals. This form of jealousy should be cherished in your heart all day.”

In conclusion, we should avoid the mistake of believing that all jealousy and envy are inherently bad. It is important to understand that being envious of others’ material possessions is problematic, not so much because of the emotion itself, but because it reflects a misplaced emphasis on materialism. Instead, let us cultivate a positive form of envy – a passionate desire to emulate those who are deeply engaged in Torah learning. By focusing our envy on the admirable qualities of those who excel in spiritual pursuits, we can transform it into motivation to emulate their virtues. This focus can inspire us to grow spiritually and draw closer to Hashem. 

Let us channel our envy positively by using it as motivation for self-improvement and aligning ourselves with our core values.

1. Change and Renewal p419-420 ↩︎