A Feminine Perspective on the 17th Tammuz

The Netivot Shalom divides the year into two parts. One part, beginning on Purim with wiping out Amalek, continuing to Pesach with the Exodus through the refinement of the Sefira and culminating in the ultimate connection of Shavuot. The other half of the year reaches its climax on Shemini Atzeret, the parallel to Shavuot. When does this avoda begin? In Tammuz. The mourning of Tammuz and Av paves the way for the introspection of Elul and the Yamim Noraim, which allows us to accept the Torah with joy on Shemini Atzeret. As we approach these months of mourning, we enter with the knowledge that it is the aveilut and avoda of these months which will create the joy of the festivals of Tishrei.

The 17th Tammuz is unfortunately an infamous day in the Jewish calendar, beginning the cycle which results in Tisha B’av. The Mishna in Taanit (4:6) records 5 tragedies which occurred on this day. The Luchot were broken, the Korban Tamid (daily sacrifice) stopped, the city wall was breached, Apostamus burnt a Sefer Torah and an idol was placed in the Temple. 

The City Walls & The Jewish Woman

The breach of the holy walls of Yerushalayim is a tragedy which speaks to me deeply as a Jewish woman. A wall is a protection. A wall is a fortress. A wall is a guard, faithful to the sacred area concealed behind it. Carving a hole in the walls of Yerushalayim meant that Yerushalayim’s beauty and holiness was no longer protected and contained. It was exposed, vulnerable to the enemy, susceptible to foreign invasion. 

When a woman gets married, she encircles her husband seven times. She becomes the choma, the wall of the home. Each Jewish woman is the guardian, the spiritual fortress of her home. She is designated as its walls, to contain it from impure influences and to shelter its sanctity from foreign eyes. 

This is the inverse of what happened in Yericho in Sefer Yehoshua. Rebbetzin Tarshish explains that to conquer Yericho, the Jewish people had to knock down its walls. We were commanded to surround the city every day for seven days. Like a kalla, we encircled the city and once we reached the 7th day, Hashem took the walls down. 

We also encircle 7 times during the Hakafot of Simchat Torah. We form a wall around the Torah; a wall of loyalty and love like a kalla but also a wall of ironclad commitment to uphold the mitzvot. We leave behind our apples and honey, our shofar, our succot and our arba minim, but we take with us our Torah which we shield protectively. 

Perhaps we need to be more honest with ourselves and where we are holding on the ladder of growth. Maybe we need to replace judgment with compassion and view those around us with kinder eyes. Are we held back by jealousy? By personal insecurities? By a desire for validation or honor? Looking inside our emotional world will help us identify areas of growth which we are perhaps afraid of or unsure about reaching.

On Shiva Asar BTammuz, we remind ourselves that our walls have been breached. Perhaps we have allowed foreign influences in, perhaps we have not been the loyal guardians of Torah and kedusha which we are designated to be. As the woman of the home, this fast is a reminder to take stock of our personal walls. To ensure that we reinforce our walls and safeguard the sanctity of our homes. Because we are the wall.

Walls between Me and Myself 

Perhaps we need to be more honest with ourselves and where we are holding on the ladder of growth. Maybe we need to replace judgment with compassion and view those around us with kinder eyes. Are we held back by jealousy? By personal insecurities? By a desire for validation or honor? Looking inside our emotional world will help us identify areas of growth which we are perhaps afraid of or unsure about reaching.

Walls between Me and Hashem 

How is my tefilla? When I daven, am I able to truly unburden to Hashem? Do I talk to Him like a Father Who just wants the best for His daughter? Do I trust that He is listening and values my tefillot? 

Do I take the time before and after I eat to make a bracha slowly, to connect to the Divine even when eating a meal or snack?

How do I feel about Shabbat? Do I look forward to a day of spirituality or is it just a day to nap and switch off my phone?

What is my attitude towards the mitzvot in general? 

Walls Between Me and Others 

Do I pretend to be someone I’m not to fit in with others? Do I lower or higher my standards in front of my peers? When I know my friend is struggling, do I have the confidence to reach out and support her? What about the situation in Eretz Yisrael? Do I allow myself to feel? For the hostages, for their families, for all those putting their lives on the line, for their wives waiting at home? 

Walls of My Home 

What books and magazines are there in my home? What messages do they promote? What music do I play? What influences do I bring in?

How do I model tzniut in my family? Do I have a plan for keeping the spiritual standards of my home high? How do I keep the foreign influences out? 

If we can start to answer these questions, we can begin the process of fixing up our personal breaches. As the walls of our homes, if we fix ourselves up, we enable every home in Klal Yisrael to shine. 

In the merit of fixing up the breaches in our walls, may we merit the rebuilding of Yerushalayim’s broken walls and see her restored to permanent glory.