What a 70-Year Woman with Pancreatic Cancer Can Teach You About Life

“Sorry to let you know, my mom has Pancreatic Cancer – inoperable. The doctors are giving her 3-6 months,” read the WhatsApp message that binged inside my husband’s pocket.

There are many joys and blessings that are part of being a community rabbanit. One of the challenges however, is having to share the pain and suffering of shul members which is an inevitable part of daily life. We weren’t new to this job, in fact as a couple my husband and I had been part of our wonderful community for over 13 years. We started out young and grew along with our amazing shul. Sure, there were hiccups along the way but we were eager to learn from our mistakes. We loved the good-hearted people in our community and they reciprocated in kind. We were there to share weddings, bar-mitzvahs and brit milot with our fellow congregants, and yes, the occasional funeral  too.

When I stood at Leah’s gravesite a few years ago, mourning the passing of a kind-hearted and humble 70-year-old, I felt as though I had lost a true friend, not merely an elderly shul member. When the Levy family joyously celebrated the engagement of their 47-year-old son – whom they had despaired of ever seeing under the chuppa – I rejoiced as though celebrating the simcha of a family member.

Most of us imagine that our life will follow a certain trajectory. We have our hopes, dreams, and aspirations and are fairly certain that reality will follow along, however, it hardly ever does. What we often fail to realize is that in the game of life, we are the actors but G-d is the Script writer. We may only act out the part which the Divine play-writer has handed to us.

When we got the devastating news about Sarah earlier this year, it made me stop and reflect. Sarah was in her late-70s. Not too young but certainly not very old. She had always been very fit and healthy and looked like a woman 20 years younger than her biological age. She certainly had not had an easy life. Divorced at an early age with four children, she had never remarried – preferring to be alone rather than facing more marital disharmony. You would never know that she had suffered for she always had a big smile on her face and a perky greeting for everyone. She had recently begun to lose weight rather unexpectedly which prompted her family to send her for medical testing. Did she have any idea of the chilling results that she would receive? Any premonitions? Do any of us know what the future holds in store for us?

Most of us imagine that our life will follow a certain trajectory. We have our hopes, dreams, and aspirations and are fairly certain that reality will follow along, however, it hardly ever does. What we often fail to realize is that in the game of life, we are the actors but G-d is the Script writer. We may only act out the part which the Divine play-writer has handed to us. Within that the scope is endless. We can laugh or cry, dance, and sing, and simply bedazzle the audience. Or we can sullenly take our part putting on a dismal performance that all but dismays those watching.

We imagine that we have all the time in the world to complete our God-given mission, but this luxury is afforded to no one. Sure, we acknowledge that other people pass away, but that’s ‘other people,’ it’s in no way applicable to us. We feel that we are invincible and have many years at our disposal to complete our God-given mission. The cycle of life teaches us otherwise. Just as every human being enters the world as a helpless infant and progresses through different stages of growth, the life cycle of every person must end at some point. This sobering thought can ironically be very uplifting, it need not be depressing. If we know that our time on Planet Earth is temporary, we are far more likely to use it wisely. As Rav Avigdor Miller z”l says, those who realize that they are just passing through this world on a journey to the next world will utilize their time far more effectively in the service of Hashem.

This recalls the timeless mashal of the Chafetz Chaim. There was a man who couldn’t make a living in his hometown. Hoping to have better luck elsewhere, he travelled to a country famed for its precious stones. Upon reaching his destination he was amazed at the ownerless panorama of wealth that was readily available. He excitedly scooped up some rare stones and pocketed them. What puzzled him however was that no one else around him seemed interested in the precious gems. Learning from their lackadaisical attitude, he too lost interest in the rare and beautiful gems littered around him. When the bugle sounded to announce his departure from the island, he suddenly recalled the purpose of his visit. He hurriedly scooped up a handful of diamonds and shoved them into his suitcase as he boarded the ship home.

When he arrived home and realized the value of the gems, he fainted in dismay. The jewels had been so available, ready for the taking, and he had failed to take advantage of this rare opportunity. Sadly, it was now too late. This then is the story of our lives. We are sent to This World to accumulate vast riches in the form of Torah, mitzvot and daat Hashem. We only have a set number of years to accomplish our task. We must realize that every chessed, every mitzva opportunity and every word of Torah is a priceless treasure that will benefit us for eternity. Even if others trivialize these gems, we need to appreciate their value.

May we enjoy Hashem’s richest brachoy of health and happiness and never have to face the sort of prognosis that Sarah had to. May we live long and full lives. However, let’s grab every moment, utilize every opportunity and build glorious edifices of kedusha while we can, because tomorrow isn’t promised.