Pekudei: Self-Accounting in Judaism

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This week’s parsha begins with the pekudim, a full accounting of every shekel and kikar donated towards the Mishkan. While the verses may seem repetitive, each material recorded in this parsha serves to underscore the value the Torah places on accountability. Though we do not all work as treasurers or accountants, Pekudei is a parsha which instructs us to take an honest accounting of our lives.

Rav Moshe Bogomilsky draws a beautiful comparison between the beginning of Sefer Shemot and this week’s parsha, its conclusion. In Parshat Shemot, we read about Batya’s desire to save Moshe. We learn that Hashem miraculously outstretched her arm because she could not reach his basket on the Nile. So significant was this event that Moshe is named after it, as the pasuk writes ‘min hamayim meshitihu,’ ‘for I drew him out of the water.’

In this week’s parsha, we learn that the people brought the Mishkan to Moshe¹. Rashi explains that the weight of the boards was too heavy for the people and they were unable to build such a weighty structure. Moshe appealed to Hashem and Hashem instructed Moshe to act as if he was building. The Mishkan then assembled itself. For this reason, the Torah writes² that the Mishkan was ‘hukam,’ was set up. The passive form of this verb suggests that no human act was done. It was solely the hand of Hashem.

Both with Batya’s rescue of Moshe and Moshe’s construction of the Mishkan, Rav Bogomilsky highlights that maximum efforts were invested. Ultimately, though, the results of each of these episodes was orchestrated completely by Hashem.

Proper self-accounting requires us to introspect and examine if we are investing our maximum efforts into our endeavours. As the Mishna in Avot says, ‘It is not expected of you to finish the work, nor are you free to refrain from it.’ We do not need to be frightened of attaining our deepest desires and loftiest dreams, because we are assured of Hashem’s help. Yet, we cannot be absolved of all responsibility. We must take concrete steps and move towards achieving our personal goals.

Both Batya and Moshe are prime examples of self-honesty. They reached a level of cheshbon hanefesh which led them to give their maximum while knowing when to step back and lean on Hashem. When Batya descends to the Nile to wash herself, she is initially called ‘Bat Pharaoh,’ the daughter of Pharaoh³. This reflects the way in which she was entrenched into Egyptian life and values. She is not given a name, she is simply a product of Pharaoh’s culture. Yet, the name the Midrash tells us is Batya, which means the daughter of Hashem.

A true self-accounting entails examining our mitzvot. How do we do our mitzvot? With care? With joy? With awareness of Hashem? With love? With passion? Do we have pure motives? Have we checked that our observance is fully in line with halacha? What role does spirituality play in our physical life? Do we place more emphasis on making money or on learning Torah? Are we givers or takers? Are we internally holding in a growth mindset or are we set in our ways and are closed off to change?

Despite the horrific decree on the Jewish people and the way the Egyptians abused and subjugated them, Batya elevated herself through introspection. She saw a world completely skewed and cruel and decided to change paths. She moved herself from being Bat Pharaoh to being Bat Hashem, Batya. In fact, the reason Batya descended to the waters of the Nile was in order to complete her conversion process. She came to bathe in the river to perform her tevilla, to move her loyalties over to Hashem. Another opinion in the Gemara⁴ says that she went to cleanse herself of the impurities of her father’s idols. Both Gemaras exemplify Batya’s integrity of character and her honest self-examination. Batya reached such a lofty level of self-accounting that she was able to recognise that her very upbringing and all that was familiar to her was corrupt. For this reason, the Midrash on Eishet Chayil parallels her with the pasuk ‘Vatakam be’od layla,’ ‘She arises while it is still night.’ Batya, with her clear, honest vision pierced through the darkness which surrounded her in Pharaoh’s palace and sought out the G-dly light of being part of the Jewish people.

We can be guided by Batya to ask ourselves: What type of daughter am I? What type of friend, wife, mother? And most importantly: where do my loyalties lie? Batya’s approach would encourage us to examine our values and habits, things that may be prevalent in the world around us and check: is this where I want to be heading?

The Mesilat Yesharim, a classic mussar work authored by Rav Moshe Chaim Luzzato begins with the fundamental premise that a person must make an accounting of what the purpose of his existence is. We must have a clear image in our mind of our destination, and the path which will take us there. He then delves into the midda of zehirut, watchfulness over several chapters and advises us to check if our deeds and way of life align with the Torah ideal. Self-accounting does not just mean to find errors, to spot the times when we slip and do an aveira.

Although this may sound like a topic for Elul, the truth is that our Sages advise us to do an accounting each day. If we are constantly connected to our internal GPS, we will not easily swerve off course. And even if we do, it is far easier to reroute when we have a clear vision of our location and our goal destination. Rav Pincus, in one of his recorded Sichot on Purim, describes how Adar is the final month of the year. Following the opinion that the world began in Nissan and thus this is the month which heads the year, Adar is the last month of the Jewish calendar. Much in the way that Elul is the month of self-accounting before the month of Tishrei, our Adar can be used as a focal point for the year beginning with Nissan. We can use this Adar as a month to reflect on the months that have passed, to reflect on what sort of people we have been and to plan ahead for the spring renewal which will be ushered in by Nissan.

While counting the silver and gold of the Mishkan may not pose a challenge to us, we have an even more important task. To account for ourselves. The honesty, bravery and integrity of character it takes to face ourselves, face our thoughts and deeds and evaluate how they measure up to our aspirations and ideals is extremely strong. Yet, the result of being transparent and real with who we truly are is worth more than its weight in gold.