Is Kollel the Ideal Way of Life?

In the last 80 years, with the devastation of the Holocaust and the creation of the State of Israel, Torah learning has been a high priority for the Halachic world. In the last few decades, as part of this revolution, there has been tremendous growth of the ‘kollel’, which is continued learning, past the age of Yeshiva for married men. Most often the wife is the main breadwinner, taking a job in a variety of fields, from education, to graphic design, even in high tech, in order to support her husband in learning. But does Torah expect a wife to fulfill this role? Is the ‘kollel life’ the ideal way of life?

Keeping in mind that Judaism is a religion of responsibilities, in any marriage, a couple should be looking to see how they can support their spouse. Halachot that relate to marriage make this clear to us when they set the responsibilities and obligations of a man to his wife and a wife to her husband. Men have a Torah level obligation to learn, and it goes without saying that a couple who builds their marriage on a Torah basis will look for ways to encourage each other in all aspects of their observance of mitzvot and in connecting to Hashem. 

Considering that a man has an obligation to support his wife and children, and that a woman cannot be forced to work, one may wonder how it is that the kollel phenomenon developed. The answer is simple: it is a joint decision, made out of love and honor between the couple, with the support of communities who are willing to support this. To embark on full time learning, that may and often does require a frugal or even austere life for a time, and cannot be forced upon a woman in the Jewish view of marriage.

When looking at the obligations between spouses in the Rishonim, there is no specific mention of a wife supporting her husband’s learning. The Rambam lists the obligations of the husband as brought down by the Rishonim and set out in the Ketuba: to provide her with food, shelter and clothing, and an intimate relationship. The wife too has obligations. She must take care of the home – laundry, cooking, caring for children. However, she may also work outside of the home; the Rambam mentions weaving as an example, but she may not be forced to, or compelled to earn any particular sum of money. If the couple decides that she will work outside, all money earned is jointly owned”¹. 

Marriage is, of course, not a purely financial arrangement. To bring home the point the Rambam also teaches us that there needs to be an emotional partnership in a marriage. He writes that a man must love and honor his wife more than himself, and that a wife must honor and respect her husband exceedingly². 

Considering that a man has an obligation to support his wife and children, and that a woman cannot be forced to work, one may wonder how it is that the kollel phenomenon developed. The answer is simple: it is a joint decision, made out of love and honor between the couple, with the support of communities who are willing to support this. To embark on full time learning, that may and often does require a frugal or even austere life for a time, and cannot be forced upon a woman in the Jewish view of marriage. Rather, it must be a way of life that both spouses wish to realize. Opting into a marriage in which the wife is supporting a husband in learning is not a new phenomenon. The Talmud recounts the story of Rachel, the wife of Rabbi Akiva, who actively supported and encouraged him to learn. It is Rachel that Rabbi Akiva credits with his achievements. Another look at the previously mentioned online forums will show that the women who choose this way of life see it as a zchut to support their husbands’ learning. Similarly, a story is told of Rabbi Yoseph Chaim Sonnenfeld who told his wife: “You will certainly merit the World to Come, because here, in this world, you have always done your utmost to ensure that I have been able to sit and engage in Torah and serving Hashem. When you get there, tell them that the World to Come will be much better if they let me in too–and I will get in on your merit.”³

Kollel life, however, is not the only way to live an ideal Torah life. The Torah also places great value on working and on being financially stable. It says in Pirkei Avot: “Excellent is the study of the Torah together with a worldly occupation (talmud Torah im derekh eretz), for the exertion expended in both of them causes sin to be forgotten. And all study of Torah in the absence of labor (melakha) comes to nothing and leads to sin (by stealing).”⁴  The Rambam, who himself was a doctor, held that everyone should have a profession⁵. And just as we know that secular academic learning is not for everyone, so too, not every man is made for a lifetime of Yeshiva study.  

The idea of ‘kollel life’ cannot be separated from its sociological context. While institutions of higher learning have always existed, the kollel as we know it today, is a relatively new phenomenon, developing only after the Second World War⁶. In the past, full-time Torah study after marriage was not a widely accepted norm, rather it was reserved for the brightest students with the most potential, for those learning for semicha and rabbinic or educational posts. The latter is still true of the Modern Orthodox world today, in which the concept of Torah im Derech Eretz (combining Torah with the secular world) is a cornerstone of the hashkafa⁷. While many do spend a few years in Kollel after marriage, the ultimate understanding is that they will continue to professional ventures, with their time in kollel enhancing their perspective and preparing them for engagement in the secular world⁸. In the more Chareidi communities, the kollel serves as a way to separate from the outside world and minimize potentially harmful secular distractions⁹. Rav Ahron Kotler, the founder of Beit Midrash Gevoha, believed that “Torah study … was the supreme ideal and should be pursued without concern for future financial or professional security.”¹⁰ Indeed, many kollel families choose to sacrifice financially for this ideal. 

In conclusion, must a woman support her husband learning?  A wife should assist her husband in making sure that he is kovea itim l’Torah, just as we would expect a wife to support her husband keep any mitzvah. Indeed there is a concept that she gets schar from his learning because of her support. But is she obligated to be a kollel wife if she doesn’t wish to? Forcing that on her would go against the values of respect and honor that form the foundations of Jewish marriage. 

As to the question of whether kollel life is the ideal way of life for a frum couple, it is true that a couple should have a strong foundation of Torah in their marriage. For some, based on their society and on their respective skills, kollel may be the best path. There is no doubt that being part of such a community can help form that foundation. But with connecting to Hashem there is no one right way. With the goal of creating a binyan adei ad, the couple must work together to find the most appropriate way for them. As we have seen, the Torah places great value on learning – it sustains the world- and it is a blessing to be able to immerse in it. The Torah also places great value on working, and it is a blessing and no less a kiddush Hashem to work in order to support one’s family. 

1. Mishne Torah, Hilchot Ishut ↩︎
2. ibid ↩︎
3. Aleinu L’Shabei’ach,  Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein ↩︎
4. Avot 2:2 ↩︎
5. Mishne Torah, Hilchot Limud Torah, Chapter 3, Mishne Torah, Hilchot Dept, Chapter 5 ↩︎
6. Ferziger, Adam,S. The Emergence of the Community Kollel, Bar Ilan University, 2006 ↩︎
7. See for example Rav Eliezer Melamed, Pneinei Halacha, Likutim 1 ↩︎
8. Rabbi Dani Rapp; https://www.yutorah.org/sidebar/lecturedata/781043/Is-Kollel-Study-an-Ideal  ↩︎
9. Ferziger, Adam S. The Emergence of the Community Kollel, Bar Ilan University, 2006 ↩︎
10. Ferziger, Adam,S. The Emergence of the Community Kollel, Bar Ilan University, 2006, p. 28 ↩︎