Head Covering: Taking on a New Mitzvah

I recently started covering my hair. Halacha requires a woman to cover her hair once she gets married. The only difference is that I’d been married already for eleven years! Taking on this new mitzvah is challenging, but also important for me. My decision came from a place deep within and my resolve to continue it gives me additional spiritual strength. Interestingly enough, I might not have made the change had it not been for the year of Covid.

I grew up modern orthodox in America. Most of the married women I knew didn’t cover their hair and wore hats to shul on Shabbat. I expected to do the same, and I did once I got married. The question of covering my hair never really came up. The truth is, I thought it was something only women who were trying to be machmir (stringent) did. And so I left it at that and lived my life. Until the corona virus hit. When the virus struck and life as we knew it changed, I began to change. With isolation and the news of illness and death around the world, I searched for ways to find meaning in it all. I found my way to the Torah Anytime website and listened to a shiur to give me chizuk. And then I listened to another. And another. Now I am committed to listening to at least one shiur, most days of the week. The shiurim reconnected me to my love of Torah. Learning had always been something I enjoyed in school, but once I started working and later had family obligations, my priorities shuffled and unfortunately, my Torah study declined. My recent uptake in Torah classes, however, has helped me reignite my passion for coming closer to Hashem. 

One day while I was saying my morning tefillot, I found myself speaking to Hashem and asking Him, “if only XYZ…I would cover my hair.” Then it struck me! Here I was trying to make deals with G-d. And who was I to try to do something as audacious as that? I had it all backward. Shouldn’t I take on the mitzvah first and then in the merit of it, perhaps Hashem might listen to my prayers? I knew in that moment, covering my hair was something I had to do for Hashem. I began researching the halacha and found the sources (Ketuvot 72a; Mishnah Berurah 75:10). I discussed it with my husband, who was very supportive, and thus, I began my journey. It was exciting at first. I decided I was going to cover my hair with headscarves and bought a bunch for my new mitzvah. I learned which fabric, styles, and wrap method worked best for me. Initially it was easy. I hadn’t had a haircut since covid started, and wrapping my hair was an easy way to get it out of the way. I was at home most of the time, and in the privacy of my house or praying to Hashem it felt natural and sacred. It was when I started venturing out into the world again that it became challenging. 

One day while I was saying my morning tefillot, I found myself speaking to Hashem and asking Him, “if only XYZ…I would cover my hair.” Then it struck me! Here I was trying to make deals with G-d. And who was I to try to do something as audacious as that?

Nobody knew me as a “covered hair” woman. Not my family. Not my friends. For the most part, it was this little secret between me, Hashem, my husband, and children. And now the secret was about to be let out of the bag. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. How would people respond? Would it seem strange? Would they treat me differently or be encouraging? Despite my resolve to carry out this mitzvah, my biggest concern was what others would think. Slowly, and with my husband by my side, I made my way into the public. And guess what? Nobody said anything. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, but I straightened my shoulders and stopped trying to hide my newfound mitzvah. If anyone asked, I would explain that during these difficult times I found it important to take on a new mitzvah. Perhaps it would help me or perhaps it would help Klal Yisrael. I may not know how or when, but eventually it would. Two women who I confided in encouraged and supported my efforts. One motivated me by saying that maybe other women would be inspired. And another told me that she also chose to cover her hair many years after she got married because she realized the many merits for such a mitzvah. Both of their messages meant a lot to me and have helped me find strength in keeping this mitzvah. 
Taking on a new mitzvah is not easy—especially one that is visible, like hair covering. However, I have already started seeing the benefits and rewards for taking it on. My husband says he feels more spiritual when I have my mitpachat (headscarf) on and we have both taken our level of Torah learning up a notch. I personally feel more connected to Hashem and feel as if we, as a family, have elevated our commitment to Torah and mitzvot. And while those might seem like minor benefits, I have emunah that Hashem rewards accordingly, be it in my lifetime, my children’s lifetime, or future generations. One mitzvah can be powerful. We can’t even fathom the far reach keeping a Torah commandment can have. Imagine the great effect it can have on the world if we all undertook to take on one new mitzvah. Think of one mitzvah that will be meaningful to you. One that you think you can follow through on. There are so many mitzvot: giving tzedakah regularly, praying daily or adding tehillim, dressing modestly, refraining from speaking lashon hara, joining a Torah class, etc. It’s never too late to take on a new mitzvah and get closer to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And in the merit of all the new mitzvot that we take on, may Hashem not only answer our individual prayers, but also have compassion on Klal Yisrael, end all suffering, and bring the final redemption, bimheira b’yameinu.