In the last segment, we explored the destructive effects of arrogance, and looked at the importance of humility. In this segment, we will look at how to achieve humility on a practical level. How do we rid ourselves of arrogance and accustom ourselves to an existence of humility?
Distance Yourself from Seeking Personal Honour
The Alter of Kelm despised honour, ensuring that he was never referred to with a title of honour. In Kelm, they considered honour as a hindrance to oneโs growth. Instead, they would use the term โErlichโ which is a term labelling a person as a โperson of integrityโ โ that was the aim.
Rav Elyakim Krumbein (in Mussar for Moderns) writes that “arrogance is the compulsive quest for honor”. โA Jew, in particular, knows that the Master of the Universe has great expectations of him. How could such weighty, spiritual demands be made of anyone other than a being with a Divine soul, with the profound potential for a lifetime of moral feeling and activity, a being of the utmost significance? If I truly believe what I profess to believe, I don’t need anyone’s approval. Compliments and recognition are irrelevant. The inner richness of one’s personality is more than sufficient; the only concern is – am I doing enough? Am I fulfilling my destiny?”. A humble person recognizes that their worth is independent of any external approval, and is therefore not distracted from achieving their goal of having a close connection with Hashem.
A person who desires personal honour believes that his good is his own doing. Rather than rejoicing at their own personal honour, a person should seek to bring honour to Hashem through their actions, and when they receive honour, they should rejoice at the fact that they have drawn others closer to Him.
Focus on the Small
There is a commandment for the Priest to remove from the Altar the ashes that remain from the previous day’s offering (Vayikra 6:3,4). The Sefer Hachinuch (Commandment 131) explains that this is in order to beautify the fire. Even so, why out of everyone should the holy Priest who works in the innermost chambers of the Holy Temple be the one to effectively ‘take out the garbage’? According to Rabbeinu Bechayei (6:3), this is to humble the Priest. A person, especially the Kohen who works within the most holy and lofty of places, should not feel too great to do something small.
In Yeshivat Kelm, instead of having hired help, all the maintenance within the Yeshiva was done by the students. The dirtier and more disgusting the job, the more they considered it a privilege.
A story is told of a newly married couple who approached Rav Mordechai Gifter, with the husband bemoaning the fact his wife wants him to take out the garbage, since this was beneath him. The next morning the young couple heard a knock on their door, and opened it to find none other than Rav Gifter standing there with a smile on his face as he said, “I’m here to take out the garbage. It’s not beneath my honour.”
Rebbetzin Hudi Elsant (teacher at MMY seminary) said that ‘the definition of greatness is someone who can do a little thing’. This commandment of throwing out the ashes is the first Halacha of the day in serving in the Holy Temple because that’s the only way to serve Hashem.
A story is told of a newly married couple who approached Rav Mordechai Gifter, with the husband bemoaning the fact his wife wants him to take out the garbage, since this was beneath him. The next morning the young couple heard a knock on their door, and opened it to find none other than Rav Gifter standing there with a smile on his face as he said, “I’m here to take out the garbage. It’s not beneath my honour.”
Seek Blessings Knowing All Is from Hashem
Once the Jewish People had finished building the Tabernacle in the Torah portion of Pekudei, Moshe gives them a blessing1. Rebbetzin Shira Smiles (in her series Torah Tapestries) explains that seeking out a blessing from people, especially from a righteous person, when beginning any project, reminds that individual that “his future success is not dependent on his investment” rather “the project will only be accomplished with help from Above”. The same idea can be applied to any blessing which we say even on a regular basis. According to the Rashba, “Baruch Atah Hashem”, translates as “Hashem, You are the Source of all blessing”(Responsa of the Rashba 5:51). By making a blessing we are testifying that everything comes from Hashem.
When involved in any activity, a person should say phrases such as “with the help of Hashem and “if Hashem wills it”. (Shlah al pi B’haalotecha Derech Chayim Tochechot Mussar). By doing so, one reminds oneself that his or her own success is dependent only on Hashem (Learned from Mrs Moskowitz).
These three approaches can help us inculcate a sense of humility within ourselves, allowing us to step away from arrogance into a new, more positive and constructive, way of life. In the next segment, we will look at how leading a life of humility is not synonymous with being a doormat, but rather provides the groundwork for an uplifting life.
1 Shemot 39:43
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