The Hebrew term for โJewsโ is โYehudimโ whose root is โtodahโ meaning โthank youโ; gratitude is a part of our essence, and is what defines us as a nation. Every morning, the first words on our lips are โModeh Aniโ, a โthank youโ to G-d for returning our souls to our bodies once we have awoken. In this article, we will explore three levels of gratitude, as well as how to properly express that unique trait.
Gratitude Towards G-d
A fourth son is born to Leah. โShe conceived again and bore a son, and declared, โThis time I will praise G-d.โ Therefore, she named him Judah. Then she stopped bearing.โ (Bereishit 29.35) The root of the name Yehudah is โtodahโ meaning โthank youโ. The Gemara (Brachot 7b) writes that Leah was the first person to ever thank Hashem. Could it be that our holy forefathers and foremothers had never thanked Hashem before Leah? Of course, they did thank Hashem; however, Leahโs gratitude had a special quality which the others lacked. Rashi explains that Leah had assumed that the twelve tribes would be shared equally between four mothers; thereby each woman would have three sons. Since the birth of this fourth child exceeded her expectations, she gave thanks to Hashem. Therefore, her gratitude had a special quality about it which was that she viewed this son as a gift. By viewing all we have as a gift, our gratitude will be on a much higher level, just like Leahโs.
Happiness stems from an attitude of gratitude1. From taking a look at the order of events concerning the first fruits being offered up, we can see how the two are interlinked. At first, the Torah states the Mitzvah (command) to give of the first fruits, which are a sign of the farmerโs gratitude for all of his produce. Only once this has occurred do we find the verse: โAnd you shall enjoy, together with the Levite and the stranger in your midst, all the bounty that the L-rd your G-d has bestowed upon you and your householdโ (Devarim 26:11). Just as the action to express appreciation is mentioned first and only then is the enjoyment mentioned, so too does happiness only come about following an expression of our gratitude to our Creator.
Gratitude Towards People
In the book of Shemot, we are given the Mitzvah to not take bribes. The Gemara (Ketubot 105b) gives various examples of what constitutes a bribe. One such related story is that of a righteous individual who had a feather float on his head, and was not allowed to judge the case of the man who removed it. How can it be that a righteous individual would be swayed by such a simple act, to the extent that he is not allowed to judge the case? Can it be that a truly righteous man is so impressionable? The answer is that this righteous man is deeply affected not because he is impressionable, rather because he feels a debt of gratitude even to a person who only has removed a feather from his hat. If only we felt that grateful to the people who do favours for us!
A way to tap into this level of gratitude is by looking at the Hebrew word for โgratitudeโ. The Hebrew word for โgratitudeโ, โhakarat hatovโ, literally means โrecognising the goodโ. If only we open our eyes to the myriad blessings surrounding us, we would surely be that much for grateful towards both G-d and the people around us. Rav Pelcovitz2 writes that โthe feelings of entitlement that often accompany the many luxuries of day-to-day life in an affluent society serve to block our awareness of how grateful we should be for the many gifts we regularly experienceโ. By tearing away our feelings of entitlement, we can access that blessing called gratitude.
A way to tap into this level of gratitude is by looking at the Hebrew word for โgratitudeโ. The Hebrew word for โgratitudeโ, โhakarat hatovโ, literally means โrecognising the goodโ.
Moshe, before embarking on his journey from Midian to Egypt, asked Yitroโs permission to leave, as a sign of his gratitude for having hosted him and treated him with kindness3. Moreover, despite the fact that the Egyptians enslaved the Jewish People for 210 years, we have a Mitzvah to not hate an Egyptian โfor you were a stranger in his landโ4. Even though we endured terrible hardships under Egyptian rule, we still owe a debt of gratitude to the Egyptians for hosting us in their land.
Gratitude Towards Inanimate Objects
There is yet another layer to gratitude: gratitude towards inanimate objects. The first three (of ten) plagues that came upon the land of Egypt in the period of the Exodus were not brought about by Moshe, but were instead brought about by his older brother, Aharon. Rashi (on Shemot 7.19 and 8.12) explains that the reason for this was because the river had protected Moshe, and because the earth had been used by him to bury the smitten Egyptian. Therefore, neither the river nor the dust of the earth deserved to be smitten by him. Similarly, a Gemara in Bava Kama (92b) states โIf there is a well that you drank from, do not throw a stone into itโ. In line with this, whenever the Kotzker Rebbe replaced a pair of shoes, he would wrap the old ones in a newspaper as he felt that he could not simply throw away a pair of shoes that had served him so well over the past few years.
How to Express our Gratitude
We have already discussed some ideas already, but what further insights do we have as to what is the best way for a person to show their gratitude? We find two ideas in the โShemoneh Esreiโ, the standing prayer, in the prayer of โModimโ meaning โthanksโ. Firstly, when expressing our appreciation, we should detail what the person/G-d has done for us. In the โModimโ prayer, we list multiple things which we are grateful for. For example, we say โThank youโฆthat you are the Rock of our lives, shield of our salvationโฆwe thank you for our lives which are bound up in your hands and our souls which are held by Youโฆโ. Rather than just saying a general โthank youโ when thanking someone, we should instead delineate each and every aspect which we are grateful for. Secondly, we should thank the person personally, and not via a messenger. We learn this from the fact that only part of the standing prayer that the congregation says, when it is being repeated by the prayer leader, is โModimโ; again, thanking Hashem. This shows us that the ideal way to give gratitude is personally and not through an emissary.
Through Suffering or Through Gratitude: The Choice Is Ours!
Rav Avigdor Miller explains that there are two ways to come close to Hashem, as is reflected in two chapters of Psalms. One is Psalm 100: ‘a song of thanks’, and the other is Psalm 20: ‘a songโฆ on the day of suffering’ (since significantly both of these have almost interchangeable letters: 100 is โkufโ and 20 is โkafโ). Rav Miller explains that if we do not come close to Hashem through realising the myriad of blessings that we have, and being grateful for them, then we will be drawn close to Him through more difficult experiences. It’s in our hands to decide the medium through which we come close to Hashem; letโs do so through gratitude!
1 Rav Noach Weinberg in โWhat The Angel Taught Youโ.
2 In his book called โLife In The Balanceโ.
3 Midrash Tanuchuma on Shemos 16:5 and Seforno
4 Devarim 23.8
Related articles
- Mashpia vs Mekabel: Exploring the Feminine Virtue of Receiving
- Understanding the Concept of Serving Hashem with Joy
- Aging Gracefully: Jewish Wisdom on Growing Older
- Helena: Queen, Convert and Pioneer
- What Do Snow White, Kever Rachel and Dancing Have in Common?
- Dona Gracia Nasi: The Angel of the Inquisition
- What a 70-Year Woman with Pancreatic Cancer Can Teach You About Life
- Beshalach: The Tambourines and Jewish Women’s Unshakable Faith
- Is Consequentialism Compatible with Torah Thought?
- Does Torah Observance Mean a Life Full of Blessings and Revealed Good?
More articles by Talia Goodkin
- Tamar: A Selfless Hero
- Rosh Hashanah: The Deeper Meaning of the Shofar
- Elul: Teshuva, a Divine Gift
- Ruth: The Paradigm of Lovingkindness
- Torah: Our Map, Our Milk
- Serach: A Link to the Past
- The Omer: Counting Each Day and Making Each Day Count
- Humility, the Opposite of Arrogance
Part 2: Humility on a Practical Level - Humility, the Opposite of Arrogance
Part I: What Is True Humility? - Miriam: A Prophetess and a Leader